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Guys - what are your thoughts on male friendship? Do you have any guy friends that you're emotionally intimate with, whom you can share thoughts and problems with and just generally enjoy spending time with one on one? Or are your friendships more group/activity-based and more distant?
I've long thought that most American guys don't really have friends so much as buddies - they have guys they hang out and drink with, maybe play sports together or whatever, but the relationships aren't deep and tend to wither once people's circumstances change. I know very few American men who have truly close, deep friendships with other guys - which is a shame.
I've always had a hard time wrapping my head around this. I've been lucky in that I've been able to build close friendships over the years. I've known my best friend for around 25 years, and even though moved to the UK about 15 years ago and I'm in the US, we're still in regular touch and get together around once a year or so. I think the vast majority of guys (at least in the US) don't have relationships like that.
I would agree that you're probably right. I consider myself fortunate that I have a few close male friends with whom I can not only enjoy their company, but share intimate details of my life. I think that men miss out when they limit their male friendships to nothing deeper than drinking buddies.
For whatever reason, American culture tends to discourage men from developing close relationships (of a non-sexual nature) with other men. I do believe that this is slowly changing, though.
The ones that want to share intimate details of their life is what turns most men off.
No, it is not correct that most friends would do that. Not at all.
If yours would, then you should know that you are most fortunate.
But honestly, you never know until you are in that situation. And what often happens is that some people disappoint you, and some others surprise you... in a good way.
No, it is not correct that most friends would do that. Not at all.
If yours would, then you should know that you are most fortunate.
But honestly, you never know until you are in that situation. And what often happens is that some people disappoint you, and some others surprise you... in a good way.
Then I wouldn't refer to them as friends. I have done it and people have done it for me.
Guys - what are your thoughts on male friendship? Do you have any guy friends that you're emotionally intimate with, whom you can share thoughts and problems with and just generally enjoy spending time with one on one? Or are your friendships more group/activity-based and more distant?
I've long thought that most American guys don't really have friends so much as buddies - they have guys they hang out and drink with, maybe play sports together or whatever, but the relationships aren't deep and tend to wither once people's circumstances change. I know very few American men who have truly close, deep friendships with other guys - which is a shame.
I've always had a hard time wrapping my head around this. I've been lucky in that I've been able to build close friendships over the years. I've known my best friend for around 25 years, and even though moved to the UK about 15 years ago and I'm in the US, we're still in regular touch and get together around once a year or so. I think the vast majority of guys (at least in the US) don't have relationships like that.
Anyway, what do people think?
I think the term "bromance" counters everything you said.
It could also be a generational thing. I think younger men have closer friendships than Gen-Xers and older. That's a good thing.
My father has deep and meaningful friendships with quite a few men. He's an 84-year-old conservative, grew up hunting/fishing/trapping, not terribly emotional, etc. And he's a narcissist. But he still manages emotional intimacy with quite a few people. At his best friend's 50th Anniversary party, he wept openly while speaking to the gathered crowd about how his best friend had saved his life when they were kids.
And I have a ton of male friends, gay, straight, ex-military, civilians, a wide range of ages. They are perfectly capable of having emotionally intimate friendships with other men. But they probably wouldn't be my friends if they were so emotionally closed off that they couldn't manage functional friendships.
Guys - what are your thoughts on male friendship? Do you have any guy friends that you're emotionally intimate with, whom you can share thoughts and problems with and just generally enjoy spending time with one on one? Or are your friendships more group/activity-based and more distant?
I've long thought that most American guys don't really have friends so much as buddies - they have guys they hang out and drink with, maybe play sports together or whatever, but the relationships aren't deep and tend to wither once people's circumstances change. I know very few American men who have truly close, deep friendships with other guys - which is a shame.
I've always had a hard time wrapping my head around this. I've been lucky in that I've been able to build close friendships over the years. I've known my best friend for around 25 years, and even though moved to the UK about 15 years ago and I'm in the US, we're still in regular touch and get together around once a year or so. I think the vast majority of guys (at least in the US) don't have relationships like that.
Anyway, what do people think?
I have a few close friends that I discuss personal issues with, but most of the men in my life are friends that I enjoy spending time with and do not seek any sort of deep emotional connection with. My oldest friend has been in my life since college, and I talk to him whenever I have a deep issue to discuss. I am also married, and my closest friend is my wife. I tend to talk to her about everything.
No, it is not correct that most friends would do that. Not at all.
.
If they would not, then they are not your friends (but instead merely people you know).
Friends are there for friends... it is what they do!
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