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Normally it wouldn't bother me to have a neighbor kid kick their ball into my yard. If I had just laid sod or other landscaping, and there was a chance he's mess it up, I'd politely explain that to him and ask that he stay away from the new landscaping.
I think your idea is reasonable, but I think you also said the wrong thing. You "need" him to keep the ball off your lawn? It would have been better if you either explained that there's a potential for damage or that it's actually disturbing you in terms of noise.
Why should you have to explain it to him? He should be playing in his own yard or in a park, and what you told him is perfectly fine. As you work on fixing up your house you should not have to worry about neighbor kids damaging it by regularly using your yard. An accidental/occasional neighbor ball in your yard is certainly excusable and understandable. But using your front yard on a regular basis is disrespectful.
In your case, I wonder if this is something that the boy did when the house was a rental or empty, and he just hasn't realized that things have changed.
It's rather funny. As I read your post, I felt like someone read my journal...............
A few years ago, I bought an old home in a historic neighborhood and was excited about reviving and adding to the landscape design that had once existed. Like you, I realized I had a neighbor with two sons that considered all yards, particularly mine, to be a part of their ball field. My initial contact with the family was to be friendly - helpful - and tolerant, while noting my plans for the future gardens. I won't go into all that happened but my failure to draw a line in the sand immediately and then stand my ground resulted in two years of living hell with this family , resolved only by them finally selling their house and moving away, no doubt to torture some other poor soul.
I don't agree with the people that seem to advocate asking permission and cooperation to enjoy your own home and personal space. I was nice and agreeable, only to reach the point I dreaded going outside of my house; was pulled into constant confrontations and ridicule; only to finally get to the point that the neighbor called the police on several occasions, making outlandish accusations and making my life a living hell. In retrospect, I should have made it clear from the get go that I expected the kids to stay off of my lawn; to keep their balls out of my yard (although they would have called the police for making sexual innuendo - seriously - there are people out there that are honestly mentally ill); and that I owed no apology to them for actually enjoying a time in my life when my property should be my sanctuary.
That may seem harsh but I have learned the hard way that there are people today that think the world literally is their child's playground and that everyone should defer to their desires. I've already raised my kids and taught them respect of individuals and property and I sure as heck don't intend to now feed the misguided parenting or non-parenting of the present day.
I think you handled it perfectly. You know how kids are. They only hear the point you're making anyway. The rest is fluff like the adults in Charlie Brown. Short and to the point is best.
I find kids and even adults respond well to a simply stated "rule." Your rule is he needs to keep the ball off your lawn. Point made. At least he said "Yes, maam." That's a good sign.
Can u fence the front yard? Even a 24" white wire garden fence? That way no more conversation is necessary.
Tread very lightly. Your life can be made aliving hell like mine was when I became the "You Kids Get Outta My Yard" lady.
Not everyone plays fair and if the parents have a screw loose, it.s gonna be a long haul. They may even have a grudge now for correcting their child.
The good news is hopefully he.ll be driving in 2 years and won.t be interested in playing ball. The bad news is, well, that.s 2 years away!
Well, it kind of depends on where you live. Some places every kid in the neighborhood pretty much plays all up and down the area and all the parents are looking out for all of them. Like our current neighborhood. No fences when we moved in and the kids just ran back and forth from house to house. Since then some folks have moved in and fenced their yards. Most of the original kids are now grown or nearly so which means the newer generation of kids isn't getting the same freedom. And it does take a lot of space for soccer. A 14 year old who's any good can kick 40 - 50 yards or better.
And in many locations there aren't any parks to play in near by.
I think you handled it well enough. If it happens again, you might need to talk to his parents and politely explain that you're making improvements and playing ball in the yard could cause damage. The kid needs to learn that not everyone will be as nice as you too.
A few years back I put in a new fence and my neighbor declined to help cover the cost because she said she didn't care if a fence separated our yards. I was fine with that and had it put up myself. A few days later, I kept hearing a loud thud/thump in the backyard and found my neighbor's teen kicking a soccer ball up against my new, very expensive fence. I popped my head over and nicely explained that he would have to pay for repairs if he caused damages, and he was cool with it. I never had an issue with him again. I also mentioned our conversation to his mom in case he decided to tell her I talked to him. Sometimes the way you approach it makes all the difference.
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the new norm
