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I once heard that if you say no to someone and they continue asking - the next thing you're suppose to say to them is, "Why are you trying to control me" ?
I went through a phase in my mid-20s where I was saying "Yes" more than I meant to. I have no idea why.
I practiced. To the point of being ridiculous. Literally stood in front of the mirror and said "No" every way I could imagine. Managed to get my "no-jo" back.
I once heard that if you say no to someone and they continue asking - the next thing you're suppose to say to them is, "Why are you trying to control me" ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zenstyle
"NO" is a piece of armor to keep people from imposing on you. Wear it with pride!
I read your entire post I have no clue why you feel guilty for such a person. I met many of them in my life. At the beginning I felt the same after saying" sorry it is not quiet possible" what I have realize some people say " oh no worry I just wanted to try " some people wont even talk to me afterwords. That is how I filter people now. But some times it is better to say exactly why it is not possible then that person would understand too. " sorry dear you do 100% of talking and I don't think I am able to take it so I prefer just two of us" Just saying. If I am the other person I like to hear it.
I definitely struggled with saying no but have grown to where I can do it without much guilt. I find a trend where those that have difficulty may have grown up being pressured to accommodate or were peacemakers in the family. I see it a lot with middle children. My husband is a middle child as well my myself and we both grew up being told to appease older siblings that were more willful or appease the younger siblings, because they were favored or needed constant attention. This spills over into other relationships. I think back on all the crap I let myself get involved in because I couldn't say no. I learned.
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