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I have been to about a dozen meetups for various groups. I have made a friend or two and some acquaintances.
Haven't had any dangerous situations. I do find that a higher than normal percentage of the men are a bit more socially awkward. But nothing too troubling. Like anywhere else, some people are boring. Some are interesting. Most are in between.
I've been to dozens of Meetups, all in public places. There is nothing to distrust about the site. Meetup it self isn't sketchy or dangerous. Some meetups suck, some are great, but never once have I been in any danger. Not every meetup is for everybody.
Tell your friend you always use good common sense to stay safe. Is he worried about stalkers or something? As if more stalkers hang out at meetups than any other place?
ok so I clarified with him...
he says that he's worried about certain personalities (eg stalkers, crazy people) going to such sites to meet people as their "prey," for lack of a better term.
i guess this is possible..but it's not something i've ever worried about, honestly.
he says that he's worried about certain personalities (eg stalkers, crazy people) going to such sites to meet people as their "prey," for lack of a better term.
i guess this is possible..but it's not something i've ever worried about, honestly.
I'd bet he's in love with/attracted to you and he's worried that you'll meet a romantic partner.
I go to 3 groups on a regular basis. One knitting group and 2 senior groups for dining out. No creeps. I enjoy the groups and meet many of the same people each time. Perfectly respectable.
There was a similar thread to this one a few months ago, and at first I was a bit baffled thinking that if one is going out to meet people who have the same hobbies or interests, how are you having all this drama? Of course you can find weirdos in any group, but you ignore or manage them. When I moved to a new area, I looked up writers groups because that is my interest. Found two, one of which is a better fit, and I still belong to that group.
However, it appears to me that the people who say they had trouble with meetups are not going to meetups that have any focus or purpose other than to meet other people. Well duh--you can do that at a bar, and you're going to get pretty much the same range of people--those who have no specific interests, people who are just drifting along on the waves.
Get a life. Find a hobby, find an interest, be daring and take up something you always wanted to do, be it painting or improv or poetry, and then find a meetup.com of people with those interests--or start your own--and you will have a better chance of getting to know others with whom you might click.
he says that he's worried about certain personalities (eg stalkers, crazy people) going to such sites to meet people as their "prey," for lack of a better term.
i guess this is possible..but it's not something i've ever worried about, honestly.
Stalkers and crazy people do not need the internet to look for prey.
Some of the groups "screen" their members more than others do. A stricter group might insist on regular attendance at events, for example. The person running the group can insist that members have clear profiles photos of themselves, they might even charge a small membership fee. There are ways that they can try to keep any "anonymous" loons out of the groups.
Others are run pretty loosey-goosey. Basically anyone can sign up, or show up, and sometimes they're allowed to bring "guests" along with them, who aren't even officially group members. Depending upon the type of event, that's not necessarily a big deal... I wouldn't be fearful of too many sketchy characters showing up for a group that does knitting or birdwatching, for example.
Having said all that, yes, the larger social groups with looser membership rules (or no rules) can occasionally have weirdos show up who are just there to cruise and pick up. I find it annoying, and I don't tend to stick around in those groups.
As other people have pointed out, though, the Meetup groups are really safer than a lot of other social groups / situations might be, because at least most of the time, there's a bit of a screening process, and there are ways of tracking people down if problems come up. Which is very rare. Meetup's are really safer than online dating, because you're in a group, in a public place (usually). And there's a bit of a screening process for most groups.
he says that he's worried about certain personalities (eg stalkers, crazy people) going to such sites to meet people as their "prey," for lack of a better term.
i guess this is possible..but it's not something i've ever worried about, honestly.
This seems a little paranoid. And that can happen anywhere. It can happen with store cashiers, or at church/religious gathering, hiking organizations or hobby groups, or anywhere. Meetups aren't prone to that sort of thing. I wonder where he got that idea?
Just make sure you know what you want out of any given Meetup.
I've actually met couples who first met each other via Meetup. Those were NOT dating meetups. Those events were just regular stuff like hiking, bar hopping, trying out restaurants, movies, gaming, etc. The thing is, the guy who chased after the lady did have to risk coming off "as a creep" because, well... he wasn't going to get the lady by talking with her and nothing beyond that. He asked her out, and it ended up working out in the long run. Just like with any other similar case, if she's not interested, then back down, and limit his interactions with her to the Meetup at hand, social stuff, and non-romantic gestures.
There have been ladies only meetups, or meetups that guys can only go to if accompanied by a woman, so those tend to help women who may be concerned about that.
Some Meetups, people just want to talk with folks, or do stuff with them. Not really to become BFFs, or beyond the MU itself. For example, there was an RPG group (Dungeons & Dragons IIRC) where an attendee said his partner in that game is great for that game. As a general human being... he doesn't really want to have any interaction with that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumf
Whenever I find myself in a new town, I find that churches are a great source of new friends.
But some churches won't be OK with newcomers using it as a social club. They'll expect you to become a hard core Christian, or at least be able expand on your knowledge of their religion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
This seems a little paranoid. And that can happen anywhere. It can happen with store cashiers, or at church/religious gathering, hiking organizations or hobby groups, or anywhere. Meetups aren't prone to that sort of thing. I wonder where he got that idea?
Either misinformed, or heard/experienced of one or more bad events that's creating such a bias for him.
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