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[quote=reneeh63;43694504]I think 10 year reunions used to be the most popular..5 years was a bit too soon after college to have really "accomplished" anything, but 10 years?! Maybe married, maybe kids, and a great career? Or you could at least fake it for a single evening by renting a fabulous car!
But now who needs to actually get together with Facebook? Everybody knows everything the moment it happens so there's no wondering what happened to whoever or how they look now. Bo-ring![/QUOTE]
LOL, in the future people will just be these big fat blobs that can't move and can't speak, there will be no human interaction, and no eye contact.
They will just stare down at a device....oops, I think it has already started.
Again, if you have no interest in seeing or talking to these people, why bother with FB?
Wow, a lot of bitter, anti-social louts on this thread!
2017 will be my 40-year reunion and I plan to go as long as I can still make the 7-hour drive. After the 35th, one of my classmates took it upon himself to organize an annual picnic, and the idea has been well received and well attended. Our class was relatively small -- 160 people -- and despite the usual teenage drama, prejudices and cliques -- rather close-knit.
There was a progression to our reunions -- at 5 and 10 years, the old cliques were still in play. At 15 and 20 years, everyone was busy raising families, buying houses, moving up in their careers and who did what to whom in high school had started to fade. After 25 years, though, the adolescent grudges were forgotten and people seemed to settle down and have a good time based on shared and common experiences.
As our lives progress -- and classmates start to pass away, as three did this past year -- there's yet another different vibe in our gatherings, a kind of urgency. Our evolution as a group has been a surprising and gratifying experience.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne
I went to an unofficial reunion a few years ago (at a bar, mostly spread by Facebook/word of mouth) and had a great time. I didn't hate high school though, I know some people never really get over that.
No, I didn't hate it, either. It wasn't the highlight of my life, but it certainly wasn't the worst of times.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
From what I know, the idiots and jerks in HS are still very much idiots and jerks who would relish the opportunity of a reunion to assert their (false) superior status. Then not getting that opportunity is funny to me.
Or, your classmates may have grown up and are moving forward with their lives. What a concept, eh?
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
I think it's funny that people who had loser attitudes in high school tend to retain those loser attitudes into adulthood, but people who were the "winners" tend to mellow and become more humble and humane as life goes on.
Age is a great leveler. Now in our late 50s, my classmates and I have each experienced disappointment, grief, stress. and anxiety in addition to all those good things we like to brag about. It makes for a different type of conversation and shared experience.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhBeeHave
I think this is where things changed. At 10 years, they're all still quite full of themselves and haven't been out of HS long enough to lose their labels.
Agreed. The difference in attitudes, friendliness, and ease between the 10-year reunion and the 15-year reunion was remarkable.
My father, 85 years old and ornery as hell, had his 60-somethingth reunion last year, I think. They have bypassed doing every 5 years or every 10 years because the remaining class members are so old it doesn't make sense to wait 5 years. Before he went, he was cackling about how a guy who had bullied him when he was 15 had died. As if passing away in one's 80s is some sort of karmic revenge? LOL
He and his best buddy were pretty excited from what it sounded like, but I think it was mostly kind of sad for him at the end. Not only had the bully died, but a handful of people he was genuinely looking forward to seeing. I'm glad my dad still has his best friend - the two of them have been best buddies since they were in their cribs. Their mothers were best friends too.
It is not like I don't try. I finished a quality grad program last year. I've only recently been getting interviews for jobs I applied for. I'm working hard to lose weight and get healthier and having some success. I've done my damnedest to rise above my upbringing. But not getting that big break or even seeing a break in sight has worn me to the point of breaking. At some point, I've just got to ask am I meant to be a loser in this world despite any effort I put in?
It is just frustrating to see people who used to make your life so bad you wanted to end it, get things you want seemingly easily, while you are busting your a$& and ain't getting close to them.
I had a pretty privileged upbringing, but a life filled with working class friends and family to keep me grounded, and a father who had no problem telling his prep-school-attending daughter to go shovel the crap out of his hound dogs' kennels. I was acutely aware of how much I had from the time I was very small.
I've watched my cousins carve out similar levels of success despite starting with much less than me. We all busted our asses. I spent a lot of time wondering when I could relax, and at 40, I'm honestly only able to do so now. And just a little.
I watched my one cousin, my closest and dearest like-a-sister cousin, have her life decimated by her cheating, drug-using, rarely employed husband. He tanked their finances and gaslighted her and lost her childhood home and cheated on her with strippers. She was the breadwinner, the primary caregiver to their child and working 60 hours a week. She built a fairly high-level career with no college degree and suddenly, in her mid-30s found herself living in a cramped one-bedroom apartment with her kid, recovering from bankruptcy, and still pulling down 60-hour weeks. And she just shrugs it off and says "It needed to blow up so I could just move on and build a new life." She's starting over after so much busting her ass, but she's looking forward to what lies ahead. I am in awe of her.
There are no big breaks. Well, there are, but they're pretty damn rare. It's a long slog, an endurance race that sometimes has an occasional windfall. And happiness is work. It's a lot of ****ing work. It's mindset, good choices, the occasional calculated risk and relentless forward motion.
It gets easier. But if you're always waiting for that "big break" you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
You've got all the tools to build a happy life, Diss. You just gotta let go of your baggage and look forward.
My father, 85 years old and ornery as hell, had his 60-somethingth reunion last year, I think. They have bypassed doing every 5 years or every 10 years because the remaining class members are so old it doesn't make sense to wait 5 years. Before he went, he was cackling about how a guy who had bullied him when he was 15 had died. As if passing away in one's 80s is some sort of karmic revenge? LOL
He and his best buddy were pretty excited from what it sounded like, but I think it was mostly kind of sad for him at the end. Not only had the bully died, but a handful of people he was genuinely looking forward to seeing. I'm glad my dad still has his best friend - the two of them have been best buddies since they were in their cribs. Their mothers were best friends too.
You post reminded me that my father (died in '04 at 79) attended his HS reunions and also a few reunions of his bomber group from WWII (European theater).
I am old as dirt. I graduated nearly 39 years ago and I never went to a reunion.
Then again, when in high school I never went to a dance, except when a club I was in sponsored it for the money we earned and then I served refreshments.
Rarely went to a football or other sports game, yeah no sense in doing that the teams never won...they (notice not we) sucked!
And my parents still own the same house I grew up in. I still have the same last name. The 'lady' in charge of our class reunion married the boy who lived across the street from my childhood home. She occasionally sends me a letter asking if I have contact information for 'lost students' from my class. Often I do, surprisingly. Usually its some of the nerds from the gifted program that I was in, she has trouble keeping track of them. BUT I have NEVER received an invitation. Guess she knows it would be a waste of a stamp...
This has been a real interesting thread for me, a foreigner to read. I have seen high school reunion stuff in movies. Things like 'Peggy Sue Got Married.'......... This ritual is not something done here in England, not even in the days before Facebook.
Even if this was so, I would have no interest in attending. As others have said here, I wasn't in the 'popular' group, always a bit the outsider. I grew up in a large town, so when we all left school, I never really ran into any of my old classmates. I remained friends with one, and we were best man at each of our weddings. We are in our early 60s now, and last time I saw him was last year at his mother's funeral. We're both looking the worse for wear, so what the rest of our school class look like, I wouldn't like to guess.......
Then, in my late 20s, a person I knew from school came to work at my company. I hadn't seen him in over 10 years. He was the guy all the 'in' guys and gals loved. You know the drill - good looking, star soccer player, great personality. I knew him back then, but only distantly. We were both married by then, but of course within weeks of his arrival, every woman in the place adored him. He was friendly with them, but nothing more than that. My wife and I visited his home, and he seemed to have it all.
One day, while walking near my home, I ran into a girl I had known at school. She had been one of the girls who ignored me back then. She was much friendlier now, and doing some work in newly built houses near my home. I mentioned I was working with a school friend, and said his name. Her face lit up, and she said to send her greetings to him.
The day after at work, I told him who I had seen. "Where"? he asked So I told him. Next thing I know, he has gone and found her, and a big affair starts. He leaves his wife, and goes living with the girl. How did I know they had a big thing going back in school? His wife blames me, and I'm in the doghouse with my wife as well.
The affair burned out, and he returned to his wife. The wife who refuses to speak to me. A while later, the girl is waiting for me outside my workplace. She hands me a letter to give to my friend, and tells me she is leaving town. I have the letter in my pocket for a few days, not sure what to do. I obviously have no idea of the contents.
My wife tells me to burn it, but I just can't. While sitting in my friend's car, I hand him the letter. He read it beside me, and wept. He handed me the letter to read. It was full of love for him, and saying she understood why he went home. She was leaving town, and would never return. My friend's marriage struggled on for a few years, then they broke up for good. He left our mutual workplace, and I lost touch with him.
In recent years, I joined Facebook just out of curiosity. I didn't do anything on it, but my old friend found me through it. He is still living in our home town. He mentioned us getting together, but I put him off. His Facebook page has a lot of bitter entries, and he doesn't seem to be the happy go lucky guy he was any more. I guess none of us are really.
So, this is the only other school friend, besides the one I always kept in touch with, I ever knew of. I guess that was quite enough for me, I don't need any reunions...........
Last edited by English Dave; 04-13-2016 at 02:24 AM..
Now, if you are up for your 40th or 50th reunion, your social dynamic is going to be very different.
Sorry to tell you this kiddo, but you are wrong. It ain't gonna change ... now for the 70th ... maybe. But one thing for sure, you won't need much more than a very small room.
Sorry to tell you this kiddo, but you are wrong. It ain't gonna change
El Nox
Disagree.
I know a lot of people who were in the "in" crowd in high school... and that is where they peaked. No ambition, didn't graduate college, didn't get the high paying job, still pining for that high school boyfriend or girlfriend...
Those people have become a LOT more humble. In fact, most of them wouldn't even show up to my reunion, because they're embarrassed that they are no longer people that others look up to or want to be.
I went to my 10th reunion, doubt I'll return for any others. I immediately left the area for college after graduating and moved even further for a career post college. A high percentage of my class stayed in the immediate area. People that were friends in HS were still friends and in some cases had even added people they weren't friends with in HS (going to the same local colleges). To me, I felt like an outsider. Most of them were talking about events they had done together in the previous days and months... I was looking at them as people I hadn't laid eyes on in 10 years, I hadn't even been in the state in 9 years. I reconnected with a small group of friends and people I had been semi-friendly with and enjoyed the evening but not to the point I'm going to fly back for another one.
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This ritual is not something done here in England, not even in the days before Facebook.
