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I have had a male friend for 19 years off and on, and some of it long distance. I never knew how weird he really was until this past year when we only had each other for friends. He fits the description of Schizoid personality disorder completely! Along with narcissism. He discarded me today and hurt me very much, although the relationship itself was horribly painful. There was never any feedback and he ignored most input I gave.
- Has severe trouble with relationships (he never had one longer than a few months. Says his mother was romantically in love with him and chased away every girl he ever knew).
- He resorted then to dating only women in prison for the rest of his life.
- Had an extreme fantasy life over porn.
- Wants NO social contact, only wants to be "left alone"
- Bonds with animals
- Can function in his job because it' solitary
- Developed extreme lack of interest in sex completely later on.
- No empathy, absolute lack of caring about anyone, total apathy towards other people
- Cannot hold down a conversation because the subject must only be about him.
- Cannot seek help, very stubborn and obsessive compulsive
- Extremely avoidant. Won't tell you he doesn't want to see you any more; just makes up a million dumb excuses! This was done to me today!
Someone told me that if he is a narcissist, he must be a really weird one due to the fact that he needs no supply. Knowing him for so long was the weirdest experience of my life and I'm sure that there are not a lot of people that are schizoid out there, because if there are, you wouldn't even know they exist. They'd be living in a tree somewhere. Has anyone ever met one?
It sounds like maybe you had a romantic interest in him which he did not return. When somebody doesn't return your interest in them, whether it's romantic or platonic, it can be painful. But an emotionally healthy person doesn't list the other person's flaws and start looking for mental health diagnoses that fit those flaws, they say, "Well, the friendship wasn't meant to be," and they move on.
Maintaining a friendship for 19 years with a person who had all of the flaws you listed and who treated you badly says a lot about you.
Some of the things you're describing could be consistent with someone who was sexually abused as a child. Some could be consistent with someone who has long-term major depression.
He doesn't sound like a narcissist. My mother is a narcissist and that's a completely different set of behaviors.
I know someone like this with a lot of the traits above. Over the last several years he no longer leaves the house with the exception of the corner grocery several yards away. Trying to get him out anywhere else is futile. It Bothers me because its like he's a prisoner by choice and life is just passing him by. Cant really change this for someone most times though.
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He doesn't sound narcissistic. Maybe somewhere on the Autistic spectrum. My sister had full-blown schizophrenia. She didn't want anything to do with anyone. Refused to take care of her basic needs including showering and grooming. It was hard to watch her live life like that.
I have an older brother who fits the profile of a schizoid very well. At 62 he's still a virgin, keeps to himself almost completely, took the name plate off his office door so no one could find him, was eventually fired because he refused to communicate with his co-workers and has only helped family members to gain control over them and dictate their lives to them, and when that didn't work he cut off all contact with them, denouncing them to everyone he could get to listen. He did this with our mother and two of our sisters trying to make them over into what he thought they should be. He can only bond with his shelties. He cannot deal with the emotions of others at all, he's an obsessive/compulsive neat/clean freak, and will not talk about anything but his own narrow interests. Disagreeing with him about anything will cause him to fly into a rage.
I've had no contact with him for 8 years now, and don't care to again.
His comment about his mother's sexual interest in him bothers me because his behavior is like someone who has suffered sexual abuse or other severe trauma. Avoiding relationships, withdrawing socially and sexually and self-sabotaging relationships/friendships are very common. He may simply not be able to connect to anyone right now.
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