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First just a question about apparent change in what is acceptable. I know that it used to be that people only really did baby showers or wedding showers for the first wedding or baby. This idea being that they starting the house keeping or being a parent and they have nothing. Is it really acceptable now to expect more gifts with each additional wedding and child? Do people toss out the first pile of stuff and start over? Babies don't usually wear out clothes anyhow.
OK if this is now what is right and the new baby shower is just a go fund me type of thing to pay for diapers and they may toss me a cupcake and ignore me while there, should I go? It's people I'm really kind of mad at for another reason. Would you go if you were me?
It seems now that people feel entitled to have everyone fund every life event for them - from trips to Disneyland to funerals (I am not talking about those that cannot afford a funeral, after a major accident) to their 4th child. Easier to ignore, rather than let it get under your skin. Let it go on without you.
First just a question about apparent change in what is acceptable. I know that it used to be that people only really did baby showers or wedding showers for the first wedding or baby. This idea being that they starting the house keeping or being a parent and they have nothing. Is it really acceptable now to expect more gifts with each additional wedding and child? Do people toss out the first pile of stuff and start over? Babies don't usually wear out clothes anyhow.
Well, there's a difference between "acceptable" and "accepted". It seems that more and more, it's become accepted that there's a shower with every pregnancy. Doesn't make sense to me. I can almost get behind a shower when it's a different gender baby. And I can fully support a shower when a number of years has passed in between children (If the mother hasn't had a baby in 8 years, it's likely that she doesn't still have everything from the last child, or it's expired, i.e. carseats). I don't mind "Diaper Pounding" showers for a second child, since diapers are a consumable that the mother is going to need a lot of.
Quote:
Originally Posted by I love boots.
OK if this is now what is right and the new baby shower is just a go fund me type of thing to pay for diapers and they may toss me a cupcake and ignore me while there, should I go? It's people I'm really kind of mad at for another reason. Would you go if you were me?
I don't really understand this. Can you tell us exactly what the invitation says that leads you to believe it's a "go fund me type of thing to pay for diapers"? It sounds like you really don't want to go because of some unrelated reason. If that's the case, simply don't go.
I don't think people should have a shower with every kid unless it's a different gender. My friends wanted to throw me a shower for my 2nd as it was a different gender, and I didn't want it, but they said I had no choice. It was only 5-6 people so it wasn't as big as my first. They got me boy things since I had all the girl things already.
A friend of mine has 3 boys. I only went to the 1st shower, and ignored the other two.
Well, there's a difference between "acceptable" and "accepted". It seems that more and more, it's become accepted that there's a shower with every pregnancy. Doesn't make sense to me. I can almost get behind a shower when it's a different gender baby. And I can fully support a shower when a number of years has passed in between children (If the mother hasn't had a baby in 8 years, it's likely that she doesn't still have everything from the last child, or it's expired, i.e. carseats). I don't mind "Diaper Pounding" showers for a second child, since diapers are a consumable that the mother is going to need a lot of.
I don't really understand this. Can you tell us exactly what the invitation says that leads you to believe it's a "go fund me type of thing to pay for diapers"? It sounds like you really don't want to go because of some unrelated reason. If that's the case, simply don't go.
Because the invite just says to just bring diapers and not gifts. She had a kid two years ago. Same sex as this new one. She's throwing this shower for herself and inviting people.
Yes there's stuff unrelated to this. My relatives don't treat me very well and I'm mad. It's an ongoing subject for a lot of these threads isn't it?
Because the invite just says to just bring diapers and not gifts. She had a kid two years ago. Same sex as this new one. She's throwing this shower for herself and inviting people.
Yes there's stuff unrelated to this. My relatives don't treat me very well and I'm mad. It's an ongoing subject for a lot of these threads isn't it?
If all she wants is diapers, is sounds like she's being very reasonable and not asking people for anything but necessities that the baby is going to use 10 of each day. You made it sound like she wanted everything new again.
She is throwing a party to celebrate this new baby...it isn't *really* the same as a shower where a friend throws it for the expecting mom and she registers for gifts and such. She is throwing out a gift idea of diapers because a lot of people *will* want to bring the baby a gift and diapers are practical and you don't have to spend an arm and a leg on them.
You are invited...go or not go. Bring diapers or not. If you are going to be negative, stay home. If you want to go celebrate with them, go.
It seems now that people feel entitled to have everyone fund every life event for them - from trips to Disneyland to funerals (I am not talking about those that cannot afford a funeral, after a major accident) to their 4th child. Easier to ignore, rather than let it get under your skin. Let it go on without you.
Exactly, it is an entitlement mentality.
I'm invited to a wedding for a couple who have lived together for 5 years. Big elaborate wedding on their wedding website you can contribute to their house fund, honeymoon fund, etc. This is the trend now.
They make between them six figures, how about you save up money on your own for a down payment on a house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest
If all she wants is diapers, is sounds like she's being very reasonable and not asking people for anything but necessities that the baby is going to use 10 of each day. You made it sound like she wanted everything new again.
Well that's why you don't have another baby unless you can afford it. You know plan and think about the costs involved.
I'm invited to a wedding for a couple who have lived together for 5 years. Big elaborate wedding on their wedding website you can contribute to their house fund, honeymoon fund, etc. This is the trend now.
They make between them six figures, how about you save up money on your own for a down payment on a house.
Well that's why you don't have another baby unless you can afford it. You know plan and think about the costs involved.
I don't think the parents in question are begging for diapers. I think they are using the diapers as an idea to keep people from buying them a lot of stuff they don't need. It is fairly customary to bring a gift to a party, its better diapers then stuff to clutter up the house.
As for the other stuff, suggesting people make a donation to their honeymoon is way more practical then registering for a crystal sugar bowl. I don't see the problem with that. People usually want to buy gifts for loved ones having big events (weddings, births).
My son and DIL just went to a Diaper Shower for the second baby of one of their friends. It was a party like any other gathering, but the guests just brought a box of Pampers. Seems like a sensible approach after the first baby. No stupid games or the dreaded oohing and aahing over gifts.
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