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Typically, that information is provided word-of-mouth. An invitee would ask a the mother of the bride or groom or a member of the wedding party. To include it in the invitation is presumptuous. An invitation is a request for you to join in the celebration, not a gift grab.
And now most couples have a wedding website that has information on hotels, directions, transportation, etc. That's where they would put the registry information.
I had no idea it was bad manners to include location of the couple's registry in the wedding invitation. Speaking of wedding etiquette (or lack thereof,) my coworker recently got married and invited the employees from our small office (5 total) to the wedding. She had worked for the company many years, so we were a tight knit group and knew each other very well. It was going to be a lavish affair with 400 guests, and 4 of the 5 employees decided to attend. Until the bride-to-be informed us we were not allowed to bring our spouses or significant others and children; we could just attend ourselves. Apparently she had overspent on her wedding and decided a small way she could save a few pennies was to purchase fewer dinner entrees from the caterer. We were floored at the snub and only one of us decided to go, the only single employee in our group. It was ironic that a woman would uninvite married people's spouses to a celebration of her marriage
That is the height of tackiness. You don't uninvite people. That's just rude. Spouses and SO's should be invited. Kids are a little iffy though. Some brides don't want kids at their wedding. I never wanted to bring my kids anyway. I wanted to enjoy myself and not have to watch my kids.
Do you want to hear some more tackiness? My niece was getting married and included a gift registry card for a very expensive store and she was asking for what I felt were outrageous expensive items.
But when my DIL got her invitation there was a much more reasonably priced store listed on her registry card. She didn't get the same registry list for the expensive store that I got.
OP, since you're a man I wouldn't worry too much about selecting a gift from the registry. A gift card is fine.
I've been to so many affairs that include where the couple were registered and sometimes the stores don't update their websites so the couple may end up with 2 or more of the same things anyway.
It makes gift buying easier. The Macy's store will have the specific items that they are hoping for, because the couple actually already shopped and registered their selections with the store....down to the color and pattern...so you can't go wrong when gift buying, and it helps prevent duplication.
It would be a very easy option for you. But, it is always your choice what to buy for a gift, you can shop elsewhere or give cash whatever you choose.
I had no idea it was bad manners to include location of the couple's registry in the wedding invitation. Speaking of wedding etiquette (or lack thereof,) my coworker recently got married and invited the employees from our small office (5 total) to the wedding. She had worked for the company many years, so we were a tight knit group and knew each other very well. It was going to be a lavish affair with 400 guests, and 4 of the 5 employees decided to attend. Until the bride-to-be informed us we were not allowed to bring our spouses or significant others and children; we could just attend ourselves. Apparently she had overspent on her wedding and decided a small way she could save a few pennies was to purchase fewer dinner entrees from the caterer. We were floored at the snub and only one of us decided to go, the only single employee in our group. It was ironic that a woman would uninvite married people's spouses to a celebration of her marriage
She technically didn't uninvite them, she just only invited you 5, though, right?
The invitation only had your personal name on it - not Plus Guest?
Rude, but not AS rude as disinviting. Especially in a group of 400. In a very small wedding I can see the bride explaining why she's only inviting you 5.
She technically didn't uninvite them, she just only invited you 5, though, right?
The invitation only had your personal name on it - not Plus Guest?
Rude, but not AS rude as disinviting. Especially in a group of 400. In a very small wedding I can see the bride explaining why she's only inviting you 5.
None of the invitations had our names on them, or anyone else's for that matter. They said, "The Parents of the Bride and Groom request the pleasure of your company at Our Children, Bob and Janice's Wedding, on Such and Such Date at Such and Such Time, blah blah blah. . . " Then Janice told us we could bring our spouses. Later she told us we could not bring the spouses without telling us the reason, which is uninviting them. That's when we took offense and didn't go.
Do you mean she handed you the invitation with no name on the outside of the envelope? Was it just blank? That is very strange.
Spouses should always be included but not necessarily the children in the family. Many weddings I have been to have not had any children or only those in the immediate family.
Yes, it was rude if she initially invited spouses/SOs and then said they could not come. Personally, I would rather stay home than go to a wedding "circus" of 400 people so maybe you lucked out by having an excuse.
Typically, that information is provided word-of-mouth. An invitee would ask a the mother of the bride or groom or a member of the wedding party. To include it in the invitation is presumptuous. An invitation is a request for you to join in the celebration, not a gift grab.
Exactly. Including a gift list or registry info with the invitation gives the impression you're being invited to a shakedown rather than a wedding celebration.
When my niece (one and only) got married she and her intended sent out an invitation that indicated the website to visit which, in turn, indicated the 'registry' website - where the couple explained why each gift would be important to them (which I did think was nice) etc. and also included a list of charities one could donate to if one didn't want to purchase a gift ... love that girl but I really didn't fancy feeding a zebra in Rwanda for a year a very suitable or personal wedding gift for a close family member. The site had items they had chosen from a number of different stores and restaurants and 'experiences' listed (there was even the option to buy 'a share' in their honeymoon plane ticket or a half night in a hotel) - which I liked better than having to 'shop' at only one store .. but ...
I spent a lot of money there only to find out that the gifts I 'bought' from myself and my daughter were not actually going to the couple ... they would get the money instead and could do with it as they wished .. and I was charged the equivalent of shipping a zebra from the US to Rwanda it seems to pay the website owners for this. My niece did apparently get the cash but wrote me a nice note saying thanks for the knives, the sous vide, the gourmet dinner in the mountains in Argentina, the lovely linen sheets .. etc. However, I have no idea if they ever saw them or purchased them. Unfortunately, I suspect not. Hope the light bill or the caterer got paid though. Neither my daughter nor I were in attendance.
Not sure I really care for these 'innovative approaches' to wedding/special occasion gift giving these days. I think I liked it better when I got married and acquired 4 toasters and several waffle irons to go with my semi complete silver tea service and lace doilies. I didn't think cash was personal enough for a young lady I had known well since birth and who I always adored .. I wanted to get them something they would perhaps remember me for/keep for a long time ... but it seems that is what I gave anyway. Would have been a lot cheaper just to send a cheque though.
The registry info is commonly included now. What once used to be tacky, is now accepted. And actually, it is a help to know where to find a registry if one wants to buy a gift. So, go to Macy's, give them the name of the bride and groom, and get a list of stuff they are requesting.
You are also free to send a check, buy another sort of gift, or simply give them a card wishing them well. It depends on how well you know these people, and the state of your own finances.
The registry info is commonly included now. What once used to be tacky, is now accepted. And actually, it is a help to know where to find a registry if one wants to buy a gift. So, go to Macy's, give them the name of the bride and groom, and get a list of stuff they are requesting.
You are also free to send a check, buy another sort of gift, or simply give them a card wishing them well. It depends on how well you know these people, and the state of your own finances.
People may do it but it's still considered to be in poor taste. An invitation (to anything) where the host would be the recipient of a gift, should never presume a gift will be forthcoming.
A shower gift may include registry information because the shower is not hosted by the gift recipient. Which is also why showers are not typically hosted by close relatives. The maid of honor, a cousin good friend or aunt. Not mothers or sisters.
Last edited by maciesmom; 10-15-2016 at 04:13 PM..
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