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Originally Posted by convextech Are you the guy that went on a work trip to your aunt's city and she got angry because you didn't contact her while you were in town?
The poster would be better served by therapy sessions and medication. There is a root cause to his anxiety issues and social distancing that needs to be resolved. My wife has a relative like this and his passive/aggressive behavior upsets the family dynamic.
For instance a funeral, wedding, baptism occurs of course my wife gets you have to invite "so and so", which of course if she does he does not respond. Then she just stopped inviting him, my wife got a bad rap for cutting him out and then the mother tried to invite him and he did not respond. Now party becomes about him. Occasionally he shows up to a funeral or something. Always late, leaves early, shows up poorly dressed, and he has five people in family so wont tell you if 1 or 5 is coming. So you have to cook or make reservations for 5. He manages to ruin every family event and secretly (not so secret), his wife has an axe to grind and escalates it even more. I assume perhaps he is autistic, idiot savant, evil genius.
They actually had a baby once and threw a 1 year old baby party without telling his own Mother or sisters. The Mom felt horrible she could not see the grandkid on the first birthday, went to Babies R Us bought a nice president and planned to leave it on the porch without knocking on the door. To her suprise there is like 50 people over there for a party she was not invited to. She did not go in but saw the inlaws and everyone. Around six months later he shows up to his own fathers funeral and Mom asks if he got the gift no apology just of course I did. Since it was her husbands funeral and his dads funeral she did not push the issue. But honestly this old lady would have been happy with a text that just said thx for gift. Rather than send a two second text he punishes people. I personally dont care, he is a lunitic and he could be dead for all I know. But he does this to sweet old aunts, uncles his own mom
You're handling it in a very passive aggressive manner. Then get bent out of shape because family is still trying to make an effort to include you. Sounds like you don't want to be bothered but don't have the nads to get up and tell them you don't want anymore contact.
Seems you have something to figure out on your own. Just keep in mind the whole passive aggressive thing isn't' going to work or make you any friends.
What they are doing is nothing even close to harassment. What you are doing is childish and will keep you alone.
I can understand that the OP sounds "bad" to many posters. However, there must be a reason that his parents kept him away from this part of the family and now he too wants to avoid them. As far as attending funerals, the deceased relatives were probably ones he did have a relationship with. Families are a mixed bag, and the mix can be pretty extreme in some cases.
In my own family, one of my father's brothers absconded with a lot of money from their joint business, and then proceeded to bad mouth my dad. We had valid reason for cutting him and his out of our lives. So you just never know, and the OP hasn't given much detailed information.
Location: Foothills of Maryland Blue Ridge mountains
993 posts, read 768,626 times
Reputation: 3163
Quote:
Originally Posted by FelixTheCat
I don't keep in contact with my extended family members anymore. When I had seen any of them in the past 5 years, it had been because of attending funerals. I haven't initiated contact at all through phone, email, or anything else. I just don't want to.
I am barely on social media. I only had a linkedin and my aunt requested to add me there. I ignored. Then I had a blank facebook, I just used for the messaging. She sent a friend request. I also had a cousin I stopped talking to several years ago, who randomly tries to contact me. I completely ignore.
I don't know why they can't just respect that I am not interested in being in contact with them. I feel like this is at least on some level of harassment, not that I consider it illegal harassment, just them not respecting that I don't wish to be in contact. My reasons are mostly due to their pushiness and gossiping.
Maybe I'm just venting. I don't know what I can do besides ignore. I'm not going to message them and tell them to not bother me.
Simple. Mail a short note stating that you want them out of your life and request they halt further communication. Done. If you're unwilling to do that, you're right. There's nothing for you to do but ignore them. This is not complicated.
hold on here --- for how long and how often have the relatives been trying to contact the OP?
if it's been going on long enough and they know he/she is still alive then they should get the hint by now.
if I was trying repeatedly over the course of a long enough time to contact someone and they never responded I'd get the message. Once or twice perhaps you'd think the FB post or phone msg. wasn't received but after awhile...
just give it up , it's apparent at that stage he/she's just not that into you....
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