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Long story short, I'm gay, and I had a fallout with my old group of friends. Massive drama. A lot of it had to do with homophobia, a lot of it had to do with a guy flirting with me then blaming me for everything wrong in his life and then admitting to certain things not being my fault literally years later and when it's safe for him to.
Anyways, I suffered a lot because of this group.
There was one friend I was pretty close to. He didn't "do anything" directly but he didn't defend me in my time of need, or reach out to me, and that's more than enough to consider him not my friend.
I always suspected he was gay, because everything from his voice to his body is very feminine, he always plays females in video games, any time he talks about girls it's forced, the one girl he talked to ended up being someone transitioning into a guy, and one time he's even talked to me about an erotic video game featuring girls in bikinis and wished for a "guy mode" just for variety's sake, or something like that. But that's just from observation.
Anyways, like I said, we were close, and I gave him quite a few games, either to sell (he works at a video game store), or because he asked to keep them.
The other day, I posted a few Snapchat stories of me at a party, along with my mom and my dog. My old group would be at my house constantly, and I personally got a nice haircut for once and have lost a lot of weight.
I got a Direct Message from him on a social media site the other day, saying that he's not sure why his texts aren't sending (I blocked him) for any other reason than my phone being off. He then mentioned that there's some certain games I allowed him to "see" or to "borrow" and he's asking if I want them back. I told him they were to sell or to keep, and he told me to let him know if I want to ever have a certain game back (the game he named, he knew I hated). I didn't respond.
He's also now been favoriting some of my posts as of late.
What gives. Should I just unfollow him? Or unblock him and text him? Or no? Because I am much better off without my old group, but I AM curious as to why he would message me randomly and seemed adamant in wanting me to want some of my possessions back???
You are reading way to much into this, probably because your feelings are not shared by him. It seems a bit silly to punish someone because a group of folks you don't enjoy being around anymore is where you met him.
Since you blocked him....You should decide if you were ever friends or not and if you want to communicate with him, do so. Otherwise, simply respond to his question about your games.
You are reading way to much into this, probably because your feelings are not shared by him. It seems a bit silly to punish someone because a group of folks you don't enjoy being around anymore is where you met him.
Since you blocked him....You should decide if you were ever friends or not and if you want to communicate with him, do so. Otherwise, simply respond to his question about your games.
"Feelings are not shared by him" what do you mean by this? Because I don't have feelings for him lol
And I did respond to him, and I described why I thought it was weird, and... alright nevermind I guess.
You are reading way to much into this, probably because your feelings are not shared by him. It seems a bit silly to punish someone because a group of folks you don't enjoy being around anymore is where you met him.
Since you blocked him....You should decide if you were ever friends or not and if you want to communicate with him, do so. Otherwise, simply respond to his question about your games.
I agree.
Maybe he always felt badly about not standing up for you, his friend, with the group and this is his way of starting a dialogue so he can apologize.
People grow and change. If you are interested in potentially being acquaintances or even friends again, unblock him. If not, block him more or leave it as is. I have become more friendly with people from my past because of social media when we didn't leave things on good terms. Water under the bridge. We all grew up.
Now the whole subtext to your post *is he gay and interested in me*...well I have no idea. But the only way to find out is to talk to him more.
If you follow him now, and respond to any of his posts, you would be allowing him some access. It might go no further, or your friend might want more as time goes along. You need to ask yourself what you might get out of this process. If you do not want him in your life in any way, however minor, then do what it takes to exclude him. If it doesn't matter that much to you, then I don't see how being a FB friend is bad.
If you don't trust him, then exercise caution. He has not stood up for you when it mattered, so I do get that. We all make mistakes, and we also can give into fear. i don't think it would be out of line to address that failure with him, especially if you and he are to resume friendship. A sincere talk might give you reason to forgive. But if you move in this direction, make sure you are emotionally ready.
I would give anyone the benefit of the doubt, once. Like others have said, maybe he has grown and matured. Maybe he is sorry for not having the courage to stick up for you. You'll never know unless you give the friendship another try. If he's not sincere and has not matured, you'll know soon enough. I'll give someone a second chance, but never a third chance to hurt me.
What kind of personality do you have? Are you so hurt that you want to block him completely from your life? Then do not respond to any message he sends. At all. He'll get the hint and stop trying.
Or do you soften up knowing he reached out to you and even favored some of your posts? If you feel that way, then respond.
Do you think his friendship is worth it? Then respond. He's reaching out to you, after all. He's already meeting you halfway.
Are you a forgiving person? Since he's reaching out now, respond.
But if you hold a grudge and cannot get past him not defending you, then don't respond.
It's impossible to know his real intentions. Does he even know you feel betrayed by him? If he's asking if you want your stuff back, I think he senses your friendship has changed.
The bottom line is, I can't tell you what to do you. You're going to do what your personality is telling you to do. There are people in the same situation as you, and some have responded, others have completely cut them off.
Last edited by sas318; 10-21-2016 at 11:13 AM..
Reason: Deleted a line
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