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My old best friend and I had a falling out five years ago when we were twenty years old. She never told me why but just up and left, moved to a different state. We were the closest people to each other, we were best friends for ten years and did everything together. I was so worried when she left, I didn't know what to think. She was like my sister, we called every day, hung out almost constantly, had classes together, and she was super close and apart of my family basically, and vice versa. I felt guilty all of these years because I remembered how stressed I was towards the end of our friendship due to school and family problems, and I vented to her all the time. I had a feeling I was the reason she left.
Two weeks ago I found her on <edit> social media. I saw that she has two kids now and a husband. I mustered up the courage and messaged her, saying how happy I am for her and that her family is adorable. She messaged back and said thank you and that she is happy to see that I am happy, as I now am done with school and am working in my career and that my then boyfriend and I are now engaged (she knew him back then). I then suggested we catch up sometime, she told me that she kinda wanted to and kinda did not, she said that she left for a reason and that it was because I was always stressed/angry at life and that she doesn't want that in her life.
That broke my heart, but I owned up to it and said I have regretted the way I was these whole five years and that I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. I reassured her that life is so much different now and that I am not the same, there is no stress or anger in me anymore. She then said she wanted to catch up and that she felt very sad about how much she has missed with me and my family over the last five years.
We talked on the phone for two days, 2 hours each time as her kids napped. I apologized like crazy and she admitted to me that she was insanely jealous of me because she was single and I was ina. Great relationship, and that I was doing well in school while she was failing every class. Anyways, It was like old times. We laughed so hard about things, talked for hours and had so much to catch up on. She told me that she had to go to therapy because of all the guilt of her leaving. She dropped out of school and admitted to me that she is very stressed with her kids and sometimes cries. She said she hates where she lives and has no friends close by to help her or family. She also said she wanted to see me when they come back to visit home and that she wanted to text each other funny memes, etc. it sounded like our friendship was blossoming again. I told her that I had graduated and that I am engaged, and that life is much better than it used to be. I am a much more positive person now. I told her that I am always here for her if she needs to vent or wants someone to talk to, need a laugh, etc.
The next day, she messaged me on<snip> and said she is overwhelmed by all of this and wants to step back for a while. She said she has been fine on her own these last five years and that when she is ready for another friendship, she knows how to contact me. She didn't even allow me to reply, she blocked me <snip> and then blocked my number so I couldn't text her.
I am left mourning her again. I am confused and hurt, I guess this time around will be easier as life has been good lately. i am glad I poured my heart out to her and apologized, and cleared the air. But again I am still mourning her.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 10-25-2016 at 06:46 AM..
Reason: see sticky post re FB, Instagram and other sm mentions
It's unfortunate that she cut off contact again. At least this time you were able to get a reason from her, even if you didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
She knows you are there and she can reach out to you when things get better for her. Give her the space to do that.
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
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She admitted that she was insanely jealous of you before. It could be she is jealous of you again. She is not happy in her current life and you are very happy and settled in your current life.
She can't handle you being happy now while she is miserable.
She admitted that she was insanely jealous of you before. It could be she is jealous of you again. She is not happy in her current life and you are very happy and settled in your current life.
She can't handle you being happy now while she is miserable.
That's my take.
Hmm, I was afraid this might be a possibility too. I didn't brag or anything, I did admit I was very happy though. Did I do anything wrong by saying this? Should I have not said I was happy? Ugh
She admitted that she was insanely jealous of you before. It could be she is jealous of you again. She is not happy in her current life and you are very happy and settled in your current life.
She can't handle you being happy now while she is miserable.
That's my take.
This ^^^ She's an underachiever and unhappy with her life. She compares it to you, and runs.
This is not your fault, so don't beat yourself up. You reached out, you were gracious, you were loving and kind and that is never wasted energy--it's just plain good to put that out into the world, even if the person turns and runs from it.
Just keep reminding yourself that you did nothing wrong and this is totally her problem. You have nothing to apologize for, this one is not on you. Let it go... and keep moving forward.
I gotta tell ya...the more time that goes on in my life (I'm almost 2x your age), the more content I am leaving the past in the past.
I have regrets for sure, and un-finished stories and whatnot, and if I ever found out someone from my way back past felt very hurt by me I'd do my best to make amends, but other than that I feel like I'm meant to have the relationships I have in the moment for whatever reason.
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,488 posts, read 3,335,073 times
Reputation: 9913
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thecatspajamas
Hmm, I was afraid this might be a possibility too. I didn't brag or anything, I did admit I was very happy though. Did I do anything wrong by saying this? Should I have not said I was happy? Ugh
See below and take it to heart. You did nothing wrong. You tried, that's all you can do. Now it is up to her if she wants to reconnect again. Move on 'cause there is nothing more you can do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lottamoxie
She has issues.
This is not your fault, so don't beat yourself up. You reached out, you were gracious, you were loving and kind and that is never wasted energy--it's just plain good to put that out into the world, even if the person turns and runs from it.
Just keep reminding yourself that you did nothing wrong and this is totally her problem. You have nothing to apologize for, this one is not on you. Let it go... and keep moving forward.
Exactly! ^^^
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