Explanation to teens and early 20's (father, person, member, children)
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If your monetary Christmas gift is much less than expected, you might want to ask yourself if you bothered to thank your benefactor. In the days of texting, while not completely correct, it does show some appreciation that you spent 30 seconds to thank the person who sent the present.
Usually, I am a cheerleader in this forum, but I decided to cut the gifts in half when I realized that a 16 year old and a 21 year old had never thanked me, nor made any mention of the objects they were able to purchase.
I was not allowed to play with or use any gift until I gave my mother hand written notes to be mailed.......
We have a nephew that when we go out to eat he never thanks us or even bothers to pitch in. It's not like he's a kid. He's in mid 20's and has a pretty decently paying job. Kinda annoys me, at least say thanks or make a half hearted attempt to pitch in. I'm more irked at the lack of saying thank you than the money part. We' get the check anyways, but whatever.
I think each generation is just getting more and more entitled, not a slam, just an observation.
This has been a recurring issue among all the elders in my family and my best friend's family. The parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles and whatever are sick and tired of not even getting a text acknowledgement let alone a written thank you note.
And yes, the giftgivers have stopped giving gifts or at least reduced the value of the gifts.
indytoflgirl;46602613
If your monetary Christmas gift is much less than expected, you might want to ask yourself if you bothered to thank your benefactor. In the days of texting, while not completely correct, it does show some appreciation that you spent 30 seconds to thank the person who sent the present.
I see the same patterns in our family but, since I also know a little about how these negligent kid's were raised, it is obvious that the parents have NEVER taught their kids to offer "thank yous" or any other form of acknowledgement so the kids have been somewhat SPOILED by their inadequate parents. I was taught a lot of useful social skills by my parents and also NOT taught some other useful social skills by them which got me into a lot of trouble later in life!
Usually, I am a cheerleader in this forum, but I decided to cut the gifts in half when I realized that a 16 year old and a 21 year old had never thanked me, nor made any mention of the objects they were able to purchase.
Too bad they had such negligent, ignorant and inadequate parents/parenting!
I was not allowed to play with or use any gift until I gave my mother hand written notes to be mailed......
That seems a little excessive to me but much better parenting than negligent and inadequate parenting.
Sigh, guess I'm getting old and hateful....
OK, bu if you really have to "hate" someone or thing, hate those who have FAILED TO TRAIN these kids better! The kids are actually VICTIMS here - victims of BAD PARENTING - and the kid's need HELP - NOT SCORN!
Merry Christmas!
That ticks me off to no end and I have been known to stop giving gifts if I don't hear from the person I gave to. I once sent a letter explaining to my grandson why he didn't get a gift one year. It didn't help. He got a large monetary gift for his HS graduation and we didn't even get a verbal thank you. We are done.
There was another time were I got gifts from my stepdaughter and my granddaughter for a birthday. I didn't get one from my grandson and although it would have been nice none was expected. Anyway I sent out separate thank you cards in the mail to my stepdaughter and to my granddaughter. My grandson wanted to know where his thank you card was
I agree some of it is the parenting but don't forget that children learn all kinds of card making and doing the right thing when they are very young in school. Either way once they are adults they need to take responsibility for themselves and stop blaming their parents.
No it's just you get tired of being a doormat for people who have no appreciation. Maybe if more people did that some people would get a clue. I have seen so many family members keep giving even when there is no contact. I knew one grandmother who sent gifts all the time to her kids and grandchildren. They never saw her or sent anything to her but they constantly made fun of her. It was sad.
[quote=jimrich;46604543]indytoflgirl;46602613
If your monetary Christmas gift is much less than expected, you might want to ask yourself if you bothered to thank your benefactor. In the days of texting, while not completely correct, it does show some appreciation that you spent 30 seconds to thank the person who sent the present.
I see the same patterns in our family but, since I also know a little about how these negligent kid's were raised, it is obvious that the parents have NEVER taught their kids to offer "thank yous" or any other form of acknowledgement so the kids have been somewhat SPOILED by their inadequate parents. I was taught a lot of useful social skills by my parents and also NOT taught some other useful social skills by them which got me into a lot of trouble later in life!
Usually, I am a cheerleader in this forum, but I decided to cut the gifts in half when I realized that a 16 year old and a 21 year old had never thanked me, nor made any mention of the objects they were able to purchase.
Too bad they had such negligent, ignorant and inadequate parents/parenting!
I was not allowed to play with or use any gift until I gave my mother hand written notes to be mailed......
That seems a little excessive to me but much better parenting than negligent and inadequate parenting.
Sigh, guess I'm getting old and hateful....
OK, bu if you really have to "hate" someone or thing, hate those who have FAILED TO TRAIN these kids better! The kids are actually VICTIMS here - victims of BAD PARENTING - and the kid's need HELP - NOT SCORN!
My policy has always been that the kids have to at least call and thank the relative before they spend the money.
Last year the kids tore up the check from their grandmother on their father's side rather than call and thank her. They said they didn't want anything from her. I understand their reasons completely and I thought it was interesting that they weren't willing to pretend to like her for ten minutes on the phone for $50.
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Blame their parents!
