My boss and I use one another for mutual gain - I've started to develop a conscious (girlfriend, member)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
your brother's assessment of the boss is correct. Try to learn as much as you can while working there so that you can jump ship and work somewhere else. The boss has been doing this for a long time but you never know when the s*** is going to hit the fan, if the wife decides to look into his extracurricular activities while you are still letting him use your apartment for example that could blow up in your face.
Don't say anything to your boss but start planning your exit.
I will be blunt. The only saving grace here is he isn't boinking you, at least not yet. Wonder how long before he suggests a threesome.
The fact that you did let his family begin to make you second guess what you have volunteered to be a part of shows that you do still underneath it somewhere have some morals. That is if you leave asap.
Again....Bluntly. The fact that he introduced you to his family so cavalierly, knowing what he has been using you for makes him a total scum. And, he obviously knows that he has you by the short ones.
IMO This kind of deviant person will stop at nothing. In short, get the H-ll away from this guy.
I think that you should take the experiences that you've been given and apply to other jobs ASAP.
And don't socialize in a bar with your boss at the next job.
I've known a lot of men like this in my life. This is pretty common behavior with rich and powerful men actually. Here's the kicker though... most likely, his wife knows. I've seen a lot of women who knowingly put up with infidelity for a nice home, nice cars, and a stable home life for their kids. So long as everything is going smoothly, they make peace with it. Both my uncles were/are like this. They are both millionaires, one has been married/divorced about 3-4 times now. The other was cheating on my aunt for over 30 years, she caught him several times over that period, but refused to get a divorce. She loved him, after all, and their business interests were very co-mingled. (They were both land developers.)
You're not enabling your boss. As you say, he goes out all the time. He was doing this sort of thing before you, and he'll be doing it after you. Are you making it easier for him by allowing him to sleep with women at your place? Yeah, you are. But if you weren't doing that, he'd just be getting a hotel room or doing it in the car.
You are getting a jumpstart in your career because of this, and frankly, that is important. You're going to learn that in most businesses, success is not always attained by a meritocracy, your success hinges on who you know. I've seen it time and time again, in fact, you can read about all the people who come on CD and complain that they never get ahead in their jobs but someone else who never does the work, is unreliable, etc... is the one getting the promotions instead of them.
This is terrible advice. What about morals?? America needs to stop worshiping money and themselves. Money is not what happiness is about.
Find a new job. That's really the only way to extract yourself from this. Your boss is NOT a good person and he's going to lash out at you if you ask for a transfer within your company.
This is terrible advice. What about morals?? America needs to stop worshiping money and themselves. Money is not what happiness is about.
Your comment is from someone who clearly is not worldly or knowledgeable about the subject.
You think this is something that only happens in America? LOL Wake up honey. As I said, rich and powerful men the world over engage in this type of behavior. And, in many other civilized countries, this type of behavior is expected, condoned, and considered part of life.
This isn't about money. This is about a guy who is getting a first hand look at how a lot of businesses are run, with management promoting who they like, not who is necessarily the best at their job.
His options are to continue to let things progress as they are and enjoy a boost in his career that could help him for the rest of his life, or he can speak up and risk getting fired, hit a brick wall with his advancement, or have his own reputation damaged if this boss decides to blacklist him... all for his boss's behavior which isn't going to change regardless of what the OP does.
The ONLY option he has if he is that uncomfortable with his boss's actions would be to not saying anything, but look for another job under the radar. That carries risks as well, because any new company will of course call his current company and want to speak to his boss.
Look for a new job, this can only end badly and it will be you that it ends badly for. That's the way it always goes. You should have drawn the line when he offered the drinks the very first time.
Agree. What the boss giveth the boss can taketh. And he cannot afford to leave a wounded snake in the grass. He will go after you.
Also what goes around comes around
Boss mat be a jerk but you don't have to be.
Quit going out drinking and look for a new job.
Most likely others know the boss' MO and know your place in it. You need to move on before your professional prospects are ruined. And reputation
I love to drink as much as the next guy (and when I’m drinking with my boss, he insists that I don't pay a dime) but this guy takes it overboard. 4/5 nights a week he’ll hit the town. And lot of the times he is insistent on us drinking together, and it’s really difficult for me to deny him after everything he’s done for me at work.
I find it disturbing that you think it normal to go out drinking 4 or 5 nights a week. Be careful that the lure of free drinks doesn't result in you becoming an alcoholic. That would be a real career killer!
What "unscrupulous and unethical?" What do you care? You're not doing anything that falls into either category. Doesn't sound like you're doing anything to be disbarred, sued by a regulatory agency, or similar. I draw the line there, personally, on the boundaries of the ethical code related to my professional certifications. Those lines won't be crossed. The rest is opportunity, happenstance, and circumstance without judgment.
Keep your head down, be appreciative of the opportunities. It will end sooner or later and hopefully you'll have solid resume experience beyond your years at that point because if they're smart, they'll purge you along with the guy (who is my age) when he starts to screw up. They always do. That drinking 4-5 nights per week thing last only so long before they really start to fray at the edges. I quit doing that, permanently (on the wagon) when I was 26 because I essentially couldn't keep up with my own ambition, if that makes sense: something's gotta give.
Until then, don't ask questions. I had a female boss like that in my 20s, and I covered her shenanigans and never, not once, asked questions. No laws were broken, that's the truth. The rest, I really don't care what others do nor did I over think it. San Francisco was filled with freaks and weirdos, anyway: what's one more in her case, I figured. Oh, and as I recall, I too had dinner with her and her husband like maybe once. Talk about a strained occasion, now that I think on it. But, it was necessary.
This is sticky. You feel awful about helping your boss sleep around. If you refuse, you could make your work life hell. He has you under his thumb.
I think you need to find another job. Handle it with as much professionalism as you can. I also think that this guy has been sleeping around for a long time, and would continue to do so with your help or without your help. I don't know what to tell you in the mean time. But take your good experience and run to another employer.
It is important for your references, that you remain professional and cordial with this creep. This is unfortunate. But plot an escape.
It might be that if you stay much longer, accepting his plum assignments that he would have you do other things that are not ethical. I know you think he has high ethic at work, but you don't know everything about him.
Plot your escape.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
