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A few years ago, I worked with a girl I whom more or less befriended. She quickly grew close to me and we'd spend our time together.
We then moved to different places and she would only contact me when she's not doing great. Oddly enough, every single time she was doing great, she never replied to my messages. She would go months with no news.
She was jobless for roughly 9 months and suddenly she started contacting me every day or week. I was very supportive and gave her advice almost on a daily basis. However, she recently found a job and I tried contacting her because I needed support ... zero response from her. It's been three weeks!
When I was telling her about my debacle with some guy I was seeing, she one time replied: 'I now understand the power of 'no comment''. You cannot tell such thing to someone who is hurting. I haven't seen her in roughly two years.
With her lack of response to my last message, of course, right when she started a new life elsewhere, I'm starting to think she wasn't genuine. I'm a very busy person and I still manage to reply to people within a few days.
At this stage, I'm thinking of cutting her off, deleting her on Facebook so that next time she's going through something, I won't be her emotional 'garbage'.
Her pattern of using you only when she wants support or attention is the same, you've been aware of it for a long time. Yet you continue to permit it. People can't treat you like this unless you permit them to.
Yes, put her out of your life. This is not a friend, this has not been a friend ever. It's only been a one way relationship.
Yes she is not really a friend.She's one of those people that only when things are going bad for her...is when she reaches out BUT then doesn't do the same courtesy with the other person.She is an emotional vampire and you need to cut ties with her now and not look back because trust me...when she doesn't hear from you in awhile....she will reach out but it will be too late for her.Friendship is 50/50 and if you are the one who is always reaching out and making the effort and the other person isn't....then drop them.You will feel much better in the end and have that extra energy to use on yourself instead of that other person.
I should have given her the 'crop' a long long time ago. I haven't seen her in almost two years, so it won't change anything to my life anyway.
I hang on for way too long to people because I have this hope they'll finally show their 'good side'. However, this love debacle with this guy we both know pushed me to also put her friendship in perspective. I don't do this often. The situation with this guy also opened my eyes up to her own behavior. It's a good thing.
Removed/blocked, so that her attempts at contacting me fail (because I know she will seek answers if I don't block her).
I should have given her the 'crop' a long long time ago. I haven't seen her in almost two years, so it won't change anything to my life anyway.
I hang on for way too long to people because I have this hope they'll finally show their 'good side'. However, this love debacle with this guy we both know pushed me to also put her friendship in perspective. I don't do this often. The situation with this guy also opened my eyes up to her own behavior. It's a good thing.
Removed/blocked, so that her attempts at contacting me fail (because I know she will seek answers if I don't block her).
A few years ago, I worked with a girl I whom more or less befriended. She quickly grew close to me and we'd spend our time together.
We then moved to different places and she would only contact me when she's not doing great. Oddly enough, every single time she was doing great, she never replied to my messages. She would go months with no news.
She was jobless for roughly 9 months and suddenly she started contacting me every day or week. I was very supportive and gave her advice almost on a daily basis. However, she recently found a job and I tried contacting her because I needed support ... zero response from her. It's been three weeks!
When I was telling her about my debacle with some guy I was seeing, she one time replied: 'I now understand the power of 'no comment''. You cannot tell such thing to someone who is hurting. I haven't seen her in roughly two years.
With her lack of response to my last message, of course, right when she started a new life elsewhere, I'm starting to think she wasn't genuine. I'm a very busy person and I still manage to reply to people within a few days.
At this stage, I'm thinking of cutting her off, deleting her on Facebook so that next time she's going through something, I won't be her emotional 'garbage'.
Am I overreacting or being rational here?
The bolded part--that's when I would have cut off my ties with her. Sounds like you were always there for her and now that you needed her, she wasn't supportive and just dismissed you with a "no comment". That would have been a huge WOW moment for me. Some people don't understand how friendships work. It's a 2-way street but some people make it all about them. Doesn't seem like much of a loss here.
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