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I wouldn't go after the man for child support though not even 15 years later. I'm sure there would be a contract that would need to signed to state I wouldn't do this.
I wouldn't go after the man for child support though not even 15 years later. I'm sure there would be a contract that would need to signed to state I wouldn't do this.
My understanding is that you wouldn't be able to do this. If a parent applies for aid, the state will see if child support is being paid. If not, the state would probably deem child support should be paid. You can't have a contract that overrules the law.
Beyond this, a child isn't staff and a child isn't a pet. I can't count on both hands the number of estranged parents/children I know. If a childless person wants someone to care for them in their later years, save your $$ and make a plan for LTC and care-givers.
Adoption may be expensive. Raising a child is more expensive. And finances aside, if a person isn't prepared to give of them self to raise a well adjusted, self sufficient thriving human being, I don't think parenthood should be on the table.
I don't know- It doesn't sound all that crazy to me- I mean look at all the married couples that have 2-3-4 kids and THEN decide they don't want to be together anymore ( or one of them decides they don't want to be with the other anymore) isn't that much worse than the OP's one and done?? plus all the drama that goes with a married couple breaking up that the children witness- I don't see the big deal with OP's dilemma-(although not optimal for sure).
I don't know- It doesn't sound all that crazy to me- I mean look at all the married couples that have 2-3-4 kids and THEN decide they don't want to be together anymore ( or one of them decides they don't want to be with the other anymore) isn't that much worse than the OP's one and done?? plus all the drama that goes with a married couple breaking up that the children witness- I don't see the big deal with OP's dilemma-(although not optimal for sure).
First of all a couple that marries and has kids, then later on divorces, the father is liable for child support. If he is a decent father, he will stay involved in their lives.
What the OP wants to do is find a man to impregnate her then not tell him she is pregnant. She says she wouldn't want him to know he has a child and she wouldn't ask for child support. In other words, the child will grow up never knowing his/her father. It would be interesting to see how, in that scenario, the OP would explain things when the child asks about his/her father. What if the child came down with a rare illness that's genetic? Or what if the child needs an organ transplant? What's the OP going to do? Show up at the father's workplace and say, "Guess what?" If he's a decent man, he will be very upset to learn that he has a child out there that he never got to know.
I wonder how the OP would get a man to impregnate her if he doesn't want kids? Will she lie to him and tell him she is using contraceptives? If he is a smart man and knows he doesn't want a child at that point in his life, then he will be taking precautions.
But isn't this called co-parenting? I read an article online where someone said they were going to have a baby with their friend. Because they couldn't find someone who they got on with well romantically.
No co-parenting is basically for divorced couples. Why would anyone want to do something like this is beyond me! Wouldn't you want help on a day to day basis? Wouldn't you want a child with someone you love?
First of all a couple that marries and has kids, then later on divorces, the father is liable for child support. If he is a decent father, he will stay involved in their lives.
What the OP wants to do is find a man to impregnate her then not tell him she is pregnant. She says she wouldn't want him to know he has a child and she wouldn't ask for child support. In other words, the child will grow up never knowing his/her father. It would be interesting to see how, in that scenario, the OP would explain things when the child asks about his/her father. What if the child came down with a rare illness that's genetic? Or what if the child needs an organ transplant? What's the OP going to do? Show up at the father's workplace and say, "Guess what?" If he's a decent man, he will be very upset to learn that he has a child out there that he never got to know.
I wonder how the OP would get a man to impregnate her if he doesn't want kids? Will she lie to him and tell him she is using contraceptives? If he is a smart man and knows he doesn't want a child at that point in his life, then he will be taking precautions.
I didn't get that impression that she didn't want the father to know or be involved- where did she say that? didn't she say there would be some type of contract so he wouldn't pay child support? Why would she have a contract made up if she didn't want the father to know.?
I agree....but the govt can snatch it out at anytime once they have a positive DNA test
Nightsong, you got that right.
That said, how come there's no statute of limitations on a positive DNA test when the state/gov't/mother wants to collect child support, but there's a limited window for a man to protest paternity with the exact same DNA test?
OP -- Juventas, I would recommend you volunteer with various children's groups. I do "Reading to Kids" and they range from Kindergarten to 6th grade. You could also join 'Big Brother Big Sister.' Getting to experience a small amount of "child" in your life may reduce your current desire. If not, I apologize for accelerating your baby rabies.
I'm glad I was older when I had kids. Many women I knew in my 20s, who married young, had picked the wrong guy (immaturity) and some not getting any child support. I worked in a secretarial pool when I was 25, and I was the only woman who didn't have kids. It didn't bother me at all.
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