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There's a person at work that has a need, almost like a compulsion, to tell others almost everything about their life... their health issues, personal situations, etc. This is not only with co-workers but with anyone this person comes and in contact with and starts a conversation that lasts more than 5 or 10 minutes. Why do you think there is such a need to open themselves completely out like that. They may not even be aware that they are doing it. Would you mention it to them or not?
Have they suffered a recent major personal loss, as in the death of a loved one in whose care they were involved? If so, it is not uncommon to feel compelled to tell the story over and over as a means of coming to terms with the tragedy. It sounds as if your coworker talks mostly about worrisome current personal problems. Do they have anyone else with whom they can talk? Friends, counselor, clergy, family members? If not, guess who's left? Those encountered in the workplace.
If your company offers counseling, your coworker might benefit by it. Otherwise, try to be compassionate and talk with them non-judgmentally during a break or lunch period. Let them tell their story - then let them know you are sorry they are hurting and ask what they're doing to cope with the pain. If nothing is the reply, then suggest talking with appropriate others. You might comment somewhere along the line that it must be hard to have to work while dealing with so much pain and worry about the workplace, just to gently remind them that there needs to be a division between the professional and the private.
What does your supervisor have to say about this? If your coworker's work performance is being adversely affected, perhaps the supervisor should bring up this conversation rather than you.
There's a person at work that has a need, almost like a compulsion, to tell others almost everything about their life... their health issues, personal situations, etc. This is not only with co-workers but with anyone this person comes and in contact with and starts a conversation that lasts more than 5 or 10 minutes. Why do you think there is such a need to open themselves completely out like that. They may not even be aware that they are doing it. Would you mention it to them or not?
I had an employee just like that....what a pain. I felt like shooting myself! While she WAS dependable and chipper, I told her she was distracting everyone, and bless her heart, she just couldn't help herself. One day I had enough and when she walked in to work, I let her go stating that she didn't comply with her 3 reprimands. UGH, What a PIA she was!
Have they suffered a recent major personal loss, as in the death of a loved one in whose care they were involved? If so, it is not uncommon to feel compelled to tell the story over and over as a means of coming to terms with the tragedy. It sounds as if your coworker talks mostly about worrisome current personal problems. Do they have anyone else with whom they can talk? Friends, counselor, clergy, family members? If not, guess who's left? Those encountered in the workplace.
If your company offers counseling, your coworker might benefit by it. Otherwise, try to be compassionate and talk with them non-judgmentally during a break or lunch period. Let them tell their story - then let them know you are sorry they are hurting and ask what they're doing to cope with the pain. If nothing is the reply, then suggest talking with appropriate others. You might comment somewhere along the line that it must be hard to have to work while dealing with so much pain and worry about the workplace, just to gently remind them that there needs to be a division between the professional and the private.
What does your supervisor have to say about this? If your coworker's work performance is being adversely affected, perhaps the supervisor should bring up this conversation rather than you.
From this person's conversations, I don't think there is anyone in their family that's very supportive. On the contrary, we hear about all the difficulties. So yes, it is like anyone that is willing to listen will get "the full story." This can be a co-worker or someone that they have just recently met. Sometimes, it seems like they are indirectly looking for sympathy from anyone that's interested in listening.
The person is a very good worker, so the supervisor has not complained.
I sit 8 feet away from one of those types here at work. I alternate between wanting to stab myself, or her. Every thought that crosses her mind comes out of her mouth and she knows it but doesn't care. Other than emails from management to remind people to keep their voices down, no idea how to also tell them to keep their mouth shut.
OP, it IS a compulsion. Sometimes it's due to narcissism, sometimes it's due to a tremendous personal loss or trauma, like the death of a loved one, as someone else mentioned. Either way, it's a form of mental illness. The person isn't able to control themselves.
Since this has the potential to waste the time of the workers around this person, the supervisor should be on it, and should tell the employee to stop slacking and distracting others. The workplace is for work, not socializing. If the business doesn't care whether its employees work or not during company time, there's not much you can do, except tell the person you have work to do, and you can't stop to talk. Repeat as needed. If several co-workers have the same complaint, you could consider banding together and approaching the supervisor about it.
Do you think people like this are not in touch with their internal self..therefore they make friends with their own constant chatter?
.
I don't understand this concept; I've never heard this before. Could you elaborate?
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