Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
See, that is the rub. He has never defined this. I don't think he knows for sure.
But obviously I have very strong opinions about what I want. And he does say "just going to the courthouse seems like no fun." And then his family starts in on what we need to do.
This is where you start. Enough with the fighting on C-D. Sit down with your fiance and plan a wedding that both of you will be happy with. Don't take family members into account. Don't ask their opinions; don't entertain them. The family members aren't contributing financially, so they get absolutely no say. You two are adults. You're allowed to get married the way the two of you want. Not the way YOU want, not the way HE wants ... the way the two of you as a couple want.
See, that is the rub. He has never defined this. I don't think he knows for sure.
But obviously I have very strong opinions about what I want. And he does say "just going to the courthouse seems like no fun." And then his family starts in on what we need to do.
Ah, I see. Well, sounds like you two need to sit down - without his family around - to discuss it. Maybe there are a few keys things that he sees as part of the day that would work for both of you. Be open to what he's saying and try not to nix each thing right off the bat. Who knows, maybe it will turn out you're more on the same page than you think.
What if you went to the courthouse, invited just family to that, and then had a party/reception/dinner afterwards? Yeah...there's some planning...but not much. I think the hardest part would be reserving where to have the celebratory dinner/party.
I totally get how all the planning gets overwhelming, but there's so many ways you can keep things simple, but still be special to you and your mate.
My wedding was pretty simple (but perfect for us) and yet, the closer the day got, the more overwhelmed I felt. Happily, my husband enlisted 2 of his sisters to help, and it all went mostly smoothly. lol
Apparently it doesn't make any difference to you what he wants. You've made it perfectly clear that all you're willing to do is go to the courthouse and reject all suggestions of a small simple wedding. You've also made it perfectly clear that you're not going to pay for any type of wedding.
Just announce to him that you're getting married at the courthouse in two weeks and see what happens.
I think modern weddings are a stupid waste of money. Yes.
If he wants to do that, he is more than welcome to contribute most of the resources needed. He's an adult. He can make that choice. If its that important to him, I will "just show up" as many have suggested.
Barring that, its clearly not that important to him.
What if you went to the courthouse, invited just family to that, and then had a party/reception/dinner afterwards? Yeah...there's some planning...but not much. I think the hardest part would be reserving where to have the celebratory dinner/party.
I totally get how all the planning gets overwhelming, but there's so many ways you can keep things simple, but still be special to you and your mate.
I suggested EXACTLY that. I had an aunt (who I never met) call me crying that she wasn't going to get to "come to a real wedding" if that is what was happening.
He comes from a huge family who basically has a big wedding in Texas once a month.
I'm so sorry, sounds like you two will live happily ever after!
Sarcasm, eh?
As I said, assets are separate. I'm Swedish. We don't combine bank accounts. Honestly, we don't really get married the same way that Americans do either. So I understand that it might seem odd. But yes, I believe that separate finances are a key factor in marital bliss. My money is my money and his is his.
I think modern weddings are a stupid waste of money. Yes.
If he wants to do that, he is more than welcome to contribute most of the resources needed. He's an adult. He can make that choice. If its that important to him, I will "just show up" as many have suggested.
Barring that, its clearly not that important to him.
I suggested EXACTLY that. I had an aunt (who I never met) call me crying that she wasn't going to get to "come to a real wedding" if that is what was happening.
He comes from a huge family who basically has a big wedding in Texas once a month.
Why do you care if his aunt called? Does he care that his aunt called?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
