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How well do you know the family? For some people dining out and paying for 3 meals is a big expense and means forgoing other expenses for the week or month and adding an additional person is difficult. And if I was the mother and didn't know OP very well and/or it's a new relationship and OP might not be around a month from now I wouldn't want to spend the money either. I also agree that the mother probably didn't invite the girlfriend, the boyfriend probably asked if she could come and mother felt guilty and said yes.
OP
what are the economic circumstances of your boyfriend, or his family- if poor- I could see them not being able to afford to pay for you (in which case then your BF should have offered)- or they can afford it, then they are just being cheap.
And actually I know poor families (I don't know how else to word it) that would just go to a more affordable place, rather than not include someone (and them pay for it), thats the sense of hospitality that they have...
I don't know. It sounds like it was originally supposed to be a family dinner- with the parents and the two children. You probably were invited because your boyfriend asked to bring you. I would decline this invitation and let the parents have this time alone with their children. There'll be other times when you can get together as a group, right? I assume the other sibling isn't bringing a date to this dinner.
Regardless of who invited who, if you decide to go, I think that your boyfriend should pay for your dinner as well as his own.
I'll just mention here that we have been together for three years! It's a pretty long time, but I honestly don't think I have ever eaten out with his whole family at a restaurant before haha. The only thing I can remember was about a year ago; my boyfriend, our friend and I met his mom and her friends at their restaurant so we could all go home together, and she bought us a dessert to share. We are also 18/19 years old and I am in college (to understand our financial situation) and we are at each others houses almost every day. I am not super close with his mom but like I said, I'm at there house at LEAST 2 days a week so we know each other well, and talk and interact quite a bit.
I guarantee you that this is a dinner meant for only BF, his sibling, and Mom. Mom is taking her kids out to dinner and wants to catch up with them.
IMO, it sounds like the BF issued the invitation. And my guess is, he did it without his mom's knowledge and it would be a surprise to Mom if OP showed up for dinner.
I agree, it sounds like OP is not genuinely expected by anyone (but maybe the BF) to attend. I think the BF had good intentions but is just a little bit clueless.
When I was single, I never accepted a dinner invitation to a family dinner unless the parent actually invited me themselves.
No matter what the BF says I bet that Mom either does not know that you are coming or her son sort of insisted that you come and Mom would rather that you did not come to the family dinner.
Why would expect his parents to pay for your meal? Yes they're paying for their children, but you're not one of their children. It sounds like it is really a family dinner and your boyfriend asked if you could tag along. What's the big deal about paying for your own meal anyway?
Why would expect his parents to pay for your meal? Yes they're paying for their children, but you're not one of their children. It sounds like it is really a family dinner and your boyfriend asked if you could tag along. What's the big deal about paying for your own meal anyway?
You don't think that would be awkward for all involved?
I'll just mention here that we have been together for three years! It's a pretty long time, but I honestly don't think I have ever eaten out with his whole family at a restaurant before haha. The only thing I can remember was about a year ago; my boyfriend, our friend and I met his mom and her friends at their restaurant so we could all go home together, and she bought us a dessert to share. We are also 18/19 years old and I am in college (to understand our financial situation) and we are at each others houses almost every day. I am not super close with his mom but like I said, I'm at there house at LEAST 2 days a week so we know each other well, and talk and interact quite a bit.
If you are over there that often and the mother didn't make a point to invite you herself, then this is correct:
Quote:
I don't know. It sounds like it was originally supposed to be a family dinner- with the parents and the two children. You probably were invited because your boyfriend asked to bring you. I would decline this invitation and let the parents have this time alone with their children. There'll be other times when you can get together as a group, right? I assume the other sibling isn't bringing a date to this dinner.
Regardless of who invited who, if you decide to go, I think that your boyfriend should pay for your dinner as well as his own.
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