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Long ago when I briefly smoked, it was always outside, and we would use an empty beer can to put our butts in. It was easily disposed of at the end of the night.
A water ashtray sounds like a nightmare. If your wife absolutely wants to allow them to smoke, I would suggest a plain old fashioned ashtray, with sand (as another poster mentioned). At the end of the night, the ashtray gets dumped into the garbage before it's taken out.
I'd suggest if the wife INSISTS then she can clean the stinky mess after the stinky people leave.
Otherwise, give them a coffee-can size can with sand in it. If they need instructions, print a simple set of instructions.
1. Stuff spent cigarette in sand.
"Here. This is for YOU! Merry Christmas! Please take this custom cigarette disposal device with you when you leave, and bring it along next time you come and we're still gracious/stupid enough to allow you to spread your ashes and stink all over the place! Have a nice day!"
I hate secondhand smoke, so I'd be an almost certain "no," unless the relatives were very infrequent visitors and they cleaned up after themselves when done (and kept the balcony door shut when smoking).
If your wife prefers some kind of water in the ashtray, save some glass jars or bottles when you've used up their contents. Rinse them out and store them under the kitchen sink. Then provide the guest with a glass jar or bottle partially filled with water to use as an ashtray. When the guest leaves, put the lid on the jar or bottle and dispose of it.
Thanks H.M., but I've decided to go the sand route.
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Originally Posted by GymFanatic
Tell them to smoke in your garden out front.
Out front all we have is a driveway.
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Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30
Well as a smoker I might be a bit biased in saying " Bugger off ya miserable sod! " LMAO
No seriously your home your rules so I'm sure they'll respect your wishes , Me personally I'd say go downstairs/outside and have an " emergency burn " or when they go just clean it and put it away perhaps.
I respect your input L.C., and I find it hard to go against a fellow Londoner, so I won't, thanks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JONOV
The water ashtray makes me want to vomit. Get a sand ashtray. And make your wife clean it out.
I've already decided to go the sand route, and I'd never make my Nicole do anything she didn't want to do.
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Originally Posted by jonesg
Men without vices are just as lacking in virtue.
If I hadn't been to your funeral, I'd think that you were my beautiful mother-in-law, posting from Heaven.
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Originally Posted by reneeh63
It's your house, you can do what you want. However, you're waaaay over the top - can't use a regular ashtray because the wind would blow all the ashes around? Well, it's outside - you have regular dust and dirt and bird poop etc. and you're worried about 100% sterilized ashes? How much do you think each cigarette actually produces, anyway?!
And the weird water ashtray is silly. Do something that is disposable so you don't have to handle it and clean it since it is so traumatic and gives you "stinky hands". Like a can you then place into a plastic ziploc bag and put into the outside garbage that you immediately put out on the street so there is no chance for any stinkiness to linger (like your stinky regular garbage would also do).
Whenever you host people you tacitly agree to put up with a little inconvenience - you know, have food around for them, clean up their cans, dishes. Maybe put up with a bit of body odor..whatever. So if you have such disdain for this person just don't have them come over - meet them some other place.
Thanks reneeh, the water ashtray is now history, but I have zero disdain for the two smokers, after all, they're family.
Yep, I second the idea of getting rid of the water ashtray. Fill a coffee can half full with sand or gravel, cut a hole in the plastic lid with a sharp knife (small hole, but large enough for them to drop their butts into).
There isn't enough oxygen for it to start a fire in a can with a small hole BTW.
Just dispose of the can the day after your guests leave.
My husband and I both smoke and have both smoked since we were young teens.
I'm a grown woman, and if I want to step outside to have a cigarette, I'm going to do it. If it's "not allowed on your property," (as some suggest), then I'll just leave. We do not smoke inside of our house, regardless of the weather. I remember my mom (a non-smoker who is way too nice and accommodating) telling us we could smoke inside if we wanted to because it was really cold out. No -- I wouldn't do it in my home, and I most CERTAINLY won't do it in hers. I also will not smoke in a house where children live, regardless of if the parents do or not.
However, if someone wants to tell me that I cannot smoke a cigarette anywhere on their property -- unless we're talking about, say, an apartment with a balcony where smoking isn't allowed by the landlord or something -- then I'm leaving. It's not just about getting my "nicotine fix." That just sounds like an incredibly uptight person who I'm not trying to spend any more time with than necessary.
That said, when I do smoke outside at a non-smoker's house, I try to be respectful but sometimes wonder what to do. If there is no ashtray provided, I usually put my cigarette out on the ground, then put the butt in my cigarette pack. This bothers me because cigarette butts really stink (a stale "butt" is usually way smellier than a burning cigarette), but I don't want to litter in anyone's yard or anything like that. Having an ashtray provided by the host is a relief. I would think a water-filled ashtray would be absolutely disgusting. We use scented cat litter for our cats, and we just sprinkle a little in our ashtrays. We change our cat litter boxes twice a day (I do it once, husband does it once), and we just dump and refill the ashtrays then.
I understand people saying that the smokers should "clean up their own mess," so to speak, but that's iffy. Even if a cigarette appears to be "put out," it might have just a little heat to it, so it could catch on fire. Most smokers like to wait a while after putting out a butt before dumping the ash tray because it can be dangerous. A guest who stays for three hours and smokes a cigarette on the back porch halfway through COULD say, "Oh wait, I need to go dump the ash tray on the back porch!" as she's saying goodbye to her hosts, but I would imagine that in most cases, the host would say not to worry about it.
Maybe it's because I'm a selfish, filthy smoker, but I just don't see why this is a big deal. Offer an ashtray on your porch for guests, then dump it out at the end of the night or the next morning. I guess I just don't see why it's a bigger deal than throwing away the beer can that your guest might have left somewhere. Again, if your ashtray involves what the OP is talking about, that's pretty gross and involved. Use a simple ashtray with a little kitty little or sand in it, or just hand guests a used Pepsi or Bud Light can with a teeny amount of leftover product or water in it, then toss it in the garbage. It's that easy?
I've never smoked, aside from the sixties, when I had a few joints, but marijuana was practically mandatory back then.
Smoking in bars never fazed me that much, if I felt like grabbing a few vodkas, that was part of the price I paid, although I definitely resented the fact that my clothes stank when I got in from a bar, or my pillow did too, from where it had all got into my hair, or if I 'got lucky', I'd sometimes wake up with my nose stuck in a non smoking woman's hair that had the stench of other people's cigarette smoke in it.
When the laws changed re smoking in the U.K. it was great to not smell of smoke when I got home, and as a licenced London taxi driver, I could legally stop people from lighting up in my cab.
So I'd appreciate some opinions on this.
I'm married now, and save for a niece and a nephew, not siblings, no one in our family smokes, but my wife has always allowed the niece and nephew to slide open the patio balcony door, step out, and smoke on our wide first floor balcony, this is what I think is the second floor to Americans.
To us, the one at ground level is the ground floor, go up to the next floor, and that's the first floor in the U.K.
My wife bought a special ashtray, which is filled almost to the top with water, this soon has butts floating on it, and the kids flick their ash over the railing into the garden below.
If the ashtray is out on the balcony table for more than 7 or 8 days, it begins to smell bad, so I empty the water into the kitchen sink, then scrape up the butts and put them in the garbage, this causes my hands to stink of stale tobacco, and I have to seriously scrub them to remove the smell.
I am thinking of laying down the law and saying, NO ONE SMOKES HERE, PERIOD!, but as the nephew is her brother's son-in-law, and the niece is her brother's daughter-in-law, I just KNOW she won't be happy to agree with me.
Would you bite the bullet, and allow smoking to continue, or put your foot down, knowing that it means WW3?
This is a thing? Tidy up after a party. Seven or eight days? Eew. You're a self proclaimed P.I.G. Nod to animal House...
Pigs are very intelligent and well behaved animals., so maybe I should have called you a human.
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LMAO 
