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You are entitled to feel any way you like about others' life events. But the mark of maturity is doing something you don't care about doing just because it's important to someone you care about.
In the grand scheme, a minute of your time to say "Good for them" costs you nothing. When the picture comes to your phone, you can delete it promptly. (Of course, you'll be the only one in the family who missed the chance to see the third eye!) Unless you are at a family gathering where you are required to show your phone, no one will know you deleted the photo. Since that scenario is unlikely, the first part anyway, play nice and play along.
I see your point, but it's not like my mom isn't aware that I'm apathetic about a lot of things. So why text me stuff like that in the first place? She knows that I've never gotten excited or expressed much interest in any baby born to the extended family, so why would my reaction be any different this time around?
But here's my thing: I totally understand that not everyone is interested in the things that I do get super excited about and that's fine. I just don't see why it's so wrong if I choose not to fake interest in stuff like babies. I understand faking in front of the baby's parents but aside from that, I'm not really going to bother. We'll just have to agree to disagree.
Ok bye! But here's my thing: I totally understand that not everyone is interested in the things that I do get super excited about and that's fine. I just don't see why it's so wrong if I choose not to fake interest in stuff like babies. I understand faking in front of the baby's parents but aside from that, I'm not really going to bother. We'll just have to agree to disagree.
Why are your posts about distant relatives and not about your issues with your mother?
I rather feel like the correct response to this thread is exactly the same as the poster's response to their mother.
I'm also very curious about the reasoning behind posting this thread. Especially since the solution is so obvious and has, indeed, already been decided and done.
Well, since the engagement thread was so fun, here we go again! This is actually a different relative who I'm not close to and who I maybe see once a year or less. It's not that I actively dislike him, but he's a bit younger than me so we didn't grow up together, we have nothing in common, and he's not someone who I'd ever associate with if we weren't related. But anyhoo, my mom texted me to inform me that his girlfriend gave birth. I knew she was pregnant and all, but like I said, I don't personally talk to them so it's not like I was on the edge of my seat waiting for news about the baby's arrival. But my mom always insists on telling me news about her side of the family even though she knows I rarely associate with them, and I just keep in touch with the ones who I care to keep in contact with via social media.
So my mom texts me and tells me that his girlfriend just gave birth but she doesn't have any pics to send me yet, and I reply "Cool, I don't want any pics." Now I know that I could just play nice, let my mom send me the pics, say "oh how cute," and then just delete them. But I'm just annoyed at the fact that she thinks I care. She sent me pics of another relative's child yesterday when I've already told her several times that if I wanted to see pictures of this relative, I would just follow her on Instagram. It's like she doesn't get the fact that if I haven't seen the pictures it's because I don't want to see them, so I don't want her forcing me to look at the pictures via text. If she was texting me pictures of cute cats, that would be a different story, but I just don't get excited about babies and kids. I'm sure I'll eventually see the new baby at a family function at some point, but I can wait until then.
Ok bye! But here's my thing: I totally understand that not everyone is interested in the things that I do get super excited about and that's fine. I just don't see why it's so wrong if I choose not to fake interest in stuff like babies. I understand faking in front of the baby's parents but aside from that, I'm not really going to bother. We'll just have to agree to disagree.
Why do you keep talking about being super excited? No one gets "super excited" about distant relatives milestones. They are "somewhat interested" or "not bothered" when such milestone is mentioned. Like I said earlier, no one expects you to get "super excited." Just to act like a human being with empathy. There is a ton of space between "super excited" and "don't even mention it to me."
Why do you keep talking about being super excited? No one gets "super excited" about distant relatives milestones. They are "somewhat interested" or "not bothered" when such milestone is mentioned. Like I said earlier, no one expects you to get "super excited." Just to act like a human being with empathy. There is a ton of space between "super excited" and "don't even mention it to me."
Because my mom obviously is super excited about it, is anxiously awaiting the baby pics, and seems to think that I should be on the edge of my seat waiting for this news as well. Otherwise, there was no need to update me as soon as she found out and to mention that she didn't have pics to share just yet. Maybe I shouldn't have taken this so personally, but I'm just bothered by the idea that I should be interested in the baby news of people who I don't even associate with when it's perfectly acceptable for them not to give a crap about the things in my life that are important to me just because they don't involve giving birth. No one gets unsolicited text messages about the things going on in my life nor are they expected to celebrate them, so why shouldn't the reverse also be true?
Does your mom have any friends? Do you have any siblings. How old are you and your parents?
Your mom's overly keen interest in the comings & goings of distant relatives you clearly have no relationship with or interest in is reminiscent of the elderly, or someone who doesn't have much of a social life.
Do you feel these conversations with your mother are vague attempts to guilt you into having "milestones" of your own (e.g. marriage and baby) that you clearly don't want? Maybe that's the real discussion you should be having with her.
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