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We all have them-- things that just make us think "oh, I don't think we can be friends..." Just the sort of lifestyle choices that belie the fact you ultimately don't have much common ground as fellow humans. Sometimes you find these things out late in the game. And sometimes they crop up right away. They may seem petty to others, but they really often do point out incompatibilities.
So what are yours? Some of mine include--
Being an adult who loves Disney and wants to spend a lot of time there. This is especially true if you are shocked that I have never been, have zero desire to go, and then pressure me to join you on your next trip.
Telling me all about how much your wedding cost or being a wedding photographer.
Wanting to go drinking every night well into your 30s or 40s.
Ordering food or drinks for a table and never offering to buy a round. OR figuring out the bill to the last penny and not leaving a tip.
Being a big fan of certain TV shows ("Master of None" on Netflix is a good litmus test. If you think its brilliant, there is a good chance we won't get along.)
What are some of yours?
I do like Disney World and while I don't fault someone for not going I do hate when people judge me for liking it. I totally agree on the middle three, especially heavy drinkers. We definitely can't be friends. I don't care what kinds of shows people watch.
I have trouble being friends with those people that have to yell everything. Video gamers are another. Sorry, I can't deal with that. Flakiness is one that a few years ago would have been a personality flaw, but these days seems to be the norm. I also don't like people I constantly have to explain and justify EVERYTHING to.
Couple of years ago, someone stopped being my friend because...wait for it...wait for it....
I love classic movies! Bogart, Cagney, Edward G, Bette Davis, you name 'em. 1930s, '40s, that era. Their claim: "You live in the past!"
I don't know if I have silly dealbreakers, but I guess my main thing would be if the relationship was too one-sided. I had to end things with a friend like that. She was the type who'd call you up and rant and rave for three hours about her problems, but never ask how you were doing or what was going on in your life. Everything was me, me, me all the time. It got to be exhausting and I finally just cut her off.
I have to admit though, I'm an adult who loves Disney movies and have no shame about nearly trampling a group of kids to get a good seat for opening night of Beauty and the Beast. I told myself they didn't grow up on the movies like I did and can't appreciate it anyways, lol.
Someone who is dishonest. You are known by the company you keep.
Someone who always talks and never listens. Ever encounter one of them? They love to prate on, but when it's your turn to talk, they are only listening for an opportunity to talk about them some more. And while they'll talk endlessly about their own problems, they are curiously uninterested in yours.
Someone who puts you down. Honest opinions are important, of course. But a little diplomacy is called for.
Someone who, no matter what great thing has happened to you, has to one-up you. These people are exhausting to be around.
Someone who, well into their adult years, still wants to party like a 19-year-old.
Someone who continuously makes stupid decisions and asks for your help to bail them out. Hey, anyone can hit a rough patch. No problem, for that's what friends are for. But you know the person I'm talking about. The one who makes one idiotic decision after another, year after year, and never learns from his mistakes. You wind up taking care of them all the time.
Someone who, when talking about politics, won't shut up and generally assumes the mantle of self-righteousness. Good grief, those are the most tedious people of all. The left and the right both seem infested with those nitwits. It's great you have an opinion and political awareness. But people who talk about politics 24/7 and manage to insert it into any conversation are just tedious bores.
Someone who is habitually late to everything. I'm not talking 5-10 minutes. I'm talking about an hour or two. Time is the stuff of which life is made, and they are wasting yours.
People who can't understand what I'm saying---words such as--
retroactive such as was the benefit retroactive? Huh---
concurrent--were the symptoms concurrent? Wha.....
blighted--that neighborhood is now so blighted---
feline---that's a cat
IMO, those are not "big words" I feel everyone should understand. I get tired of dumbing down my vocabulary for some. Vocabulary---wha....
Personally, I don't think anyone should EVER dumb down their vocabulary. But that said, if someone asks what a word means, I'm happy to explain. If someone is going to criticize me for a 'big' word I use, I would (more or less politely) point out to them that they should consider it a learning opportunity. LOL
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