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A friend of mine's birthday was last Saturday. They had a big party and I was invited to bring a friend.
So I call a good (female) friend, mentioned the birthday party and all; she met my friend once, and the others, thought they were cool, no sweat. Anyway, my friend had no plans (she claimed) for that Saturday night - so I said, "How about you come with me to (name of person's) birthday party?"
I get the "I don't know"s, the "We'll see"s, the "Maybe"s, so I withdrew the offer and went by myself.
My friend got upset, hurt, yelled at me for going - she wanted me to come all the way to her house to hear whether she was coming with me or not! I said, "Sorry, but I live by a rule: Anything other than a solid "Yes" is a "No" - that even includes Maybe's, We'll see's, etc." She wanted me to come to her house the day of the party, when she lives in the total opposite direction, when I could just go to the party itself - only for her to give some bull**** excuse as to why she won't go? (i.e. My back hurts, my legs hurt, I'm tired, whatever.)
So was I too harsh in passing her up, because I was tired of hearing the same old lame excuses over and over?
A friend of mine's birthday was last Saturday. They had a big party and I was invited to bring a friend.
So I call a good (female) friend, mentioned the birthday party and all; she met my friend once, and the others, thought they were cool, no sweat. Anyway, my friend had no plans (she claimed) for that Saturday night - so I said, "How about you come with me to (name of person's) birthday party?"
I get the "I don't know"s, the "We'll see"s, the "Maybe"s, so I withdrew the offer and went by myself.
My friend got upset, hurt, yelled at me for going - she wanted me to come all the way to her house to hear whether she was coming with me or not! I said, "Sorry, but I live by a rule: Anything other than a solid "Yes" is a "No" - that even includes Maybe's, We'll see's, etc." She wanted me to come to her house the day of the party, when she lives in the total opposite direction, when I could just go to the party itself - only for her to give some bull**** excuse as to why she won't go? (i.e. My back hurts, my legs hurt, I'm tired, whatever.)
So was I too harsh in passing her up, because I was tired of hearing the same old lame excuses over and over?
No not at all, you didn't do anything wrong. You are absolutely right a maybe or we'll see leans more towards a no. If she flakes on you at times I wouldn't belive her word either unless she said yes that she will go for sure.
Nope, not harsh at all. Sounds like you're done playing her games. Good for you. Now keep it up. She'll either straighten out her act, or stop being your friend because you're no longer putting up with her crap. If she drops you as a friend you'll have more room in your life for people who respect your time and actually want your company.
A friend of mine's birthday was last Saturday. They had a big party and I was invited to bring a friend.
So I call a good (female) friend, mentioned the birthday party and all; she met my friend once, and the others, thought they were cool, no sweat. Anyway, my friend had no plans (she claimed) for that Saturday night - so I said, "How about you come with me to (name of person's) birthday party?"
I get the "I don't know"s, the "We'll see"s, the "Maybe"s, so I withdrew the offer and went by myself.
My friend got upset, hurt, yelled at me for going - she wanted me to come all the way to her house to hear whether she was coming with me or not! I said, "Sorry, but I live by a rule: Anything other than a solid "Yes" is a "No" - that even includes Maybe's, We'll see's, etc." She wanted me to come to her house the day of the party, when she lives in the total opposite direction, when I could just go to the party itself - only for her to give some bull**** excuse as to why she won't go? (i.e. My back hurts, my legs hurt, I'm tired, whatever.)
So was I too harsh in passing her up, because I was tired of hearing the same old lame excuses over and over?
Is she incapable of picking up the phone? Same to you--you could have called her the morning of the event, to ask if she'd decided either way.
Why would she expect you to show up in person, just to ask her a question? High maintenance, much?
Is she incapable of picking up the phone? Same to you--you could have called her the morning of the event, to ask if she'd decided either way.
Why would she expect you to show up in person, just to ask her a question? High maintenance, much?
I did call her. On the very day. And her response was, "I'll let you know when you get here." To which I asked emphatically, "Yes or no?" And the answer was "I'm not really sure...." That response did it - I skipped her place and just went alone.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsRick24
A friend of mine's birthday was last Saturday. They had a big party and I was invited to bring a friend.
So I call a good (female) friend, mentioned the birthday party and all; she met my friend once, and the others, thought they were cool, no sweat. Anyway, my friend had no plans (she claimed) for that Saturday night - so I said, "How about you come with me to (name of person's) birthday party?"
I get the "I don't know"s, the "We'll see"s, the "Maybe"s, so I withdrew the offer and went by myself.
My friend got upset, hurt, yelled at me for going - she wanted me to come all the way to her house to hear whether she was coming with me or not! I said, "Sorry, but I live by a rule: Anything other than a solid "Yes" is a "No" - that even includes Maybe's, We'll see's, etc." She wanted me to come to her house the day of the party, when she lives in the total opposite direction, when I could just go to the party itself - only for her to give some bull**** excuse as to why she won't go? (i.e. My back hurts, my legs hurt, I'm tired, whatever.)
So was I too harsh in passing her up, because I was tired of hearing the same old lame excuses over and over?
I think you were very proactive in shutting down a flake. I'd probably do the same thing.
You did the right thing definitely. What kind of person wants to treat you like that anyway? I think she's bang out of line with her manipulative behaviour.
But like another commenter said, you don't need to be aggressive in your response to her. A simple "you're being weird" to her would have given her the message that she needs to grow up and quit behaving like a sullen child.
A lot of red flags with this girl. Time to consider your options.
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