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Do what is best for you. If you suffer more by cutting contact, keep it on a low level and tell yourself, she is just the way she is and doesn't know any better. Try not to take anything she says personal. I know this is incredibly hard.
If you feel better not hearing/seeing her ever again, cut her out of your life. I recommend this but everyone is different.
My mom has been nothing but negative to me from a young age- telling me I'm fat, nothing special, that I should just accept it. Thing is, I was never fat. And an honors student, have a great job. We reconnected after years and I shared some really personal emotions with her, I was feeling down. She told me if I felt that down, I should just kill myself and get it over with. I know she's my mom... but do I just say goodbye for good at this point? It was so hard to open up. Then on top of it, she told me I would only stick around for money. Which is not me, and horribly insulting.
In your heart you already know the right answer and you are just here for confirmation. It seems you have confirmation that your best action for a happy and healthy life is to cut contact and not deal with "this toxic person" ever again. Of course this all means nothing if you somehow feel you deserve to be treated like crap, maybe as penance for something?
My brother in law has done this with his mother as have I and I'm waiting for my wife to completely cut contact with "mom", she's almost there and rarely talks to her. Much happier around our house!
Just because someone birthed you does not give them license to do/say whatever they wish without recourse. If you wouldn't tolerate this from a friend then why in the world would you tolerate it from someone who's "supposed" to be even more concerned with your welfare/well being?
My mom has been nothing but negative to me from a young age- telling me I'm fat, nothing special, that I should just accept it. Thing is, I was never fat. And an honors student, have a great job. We reconnected after years and I shared some really personal emotions with her, I was feeling down. She told me if I felt that down, I should just kill myself and get it over with. I know she's my mom... but do I just say goodbye for good at this point? It was so hard to open up. Then on top of it, she told me I would only stick around for money. Which is not me, and horribly insulting.
I'd be done. But that's me. I probably wouldn't even say goodbye---I'd just cut off all communication.
My mom has been nothing but negative to me from a young age- telling me I'm fat, nothing special, that I should just accept it. Thing is, I was never fat. And an honors student, have a great job. We reconnected after years and I shared some really personal emotions with her, I was feeling down. She told me if I felt that down, I should just kill myself and get it over with. I know she's my mom... but do I just say goodbye for good at this point? It was so hard to open up. Then on top of it, she told me I would only stick around for money. Which is not me, and horribly insulting.
I'd drop her like a hot potato! No need to divorce her. Just stop talking to her or having any contact with her.
Who tells someone to kill them self? That's CRAZY! Save yourself from her. She's not going to save you. Only you can. Good luck!
My mom has been nothing but negative to me from a young age- telling me I'm fat, nothing special, that I should just accept it. Thing is, I was never fat. And an honors student, have a great job. We reconnected after years and I shared some really personal emotions with her, I was feeling down. She told me if I felt that down, I should just kill myself and get it over with. I know she's my mom... but do I just say goodbye for good at this point? It was so hard to open up. Then on top of it, she told me I would only stick around for money. Which is not me, and horribly insulting.
You're lucky, I put up with it till the day she died and still I am unfulfilled. RUN AWAY FROM HER NOW! RUN! GO! RUN. oh and NEVER LOOK BACK.
If she wants to talk to you, set the rules and if she violates them say "Goodbye" wave and never go back, you will be happier...
My mom has been nothing but negative to me from a young age- telling me I'm fat, nothing special, that I should just accept it. Thing is, I was never fat. And an honors student, have a great job. We reconnected after years and I shared some really personal emotions with her, I was feeling down. She told me if I felt that down, I should just kill myself and get it over with. I know she's my mom... but do I just say goodbye for good at this point? It was so hard to open up. Then on top of it, she told me I would only stick around for money. Which is not me, and horribly insulting.
To be honest with you, you should not be associating with anyone who thinks it's okay to tell you to kill yourself. That's never an okay thing to say. Forget whatever "social norm" you're trying to live up to and do what's best for you.
Do you have close friends or a significant other that you are comfortable opening up to in the same way?
My mom has been nothing but negative to me from a young age- telling me I'm fat, nothing special, that I should just accept it. Thing is, I was never fat. And an honors student, have a great job. We reconnected after years and I shared some really personal emotions with her, I was feeling down. She told me if I felt that down, I should just kill myself and get it over with. I know she's my mom... but do I just say goodbye for good at this point? It was so hard to open up. Then on top of it, she told me I would only stick around for money. Which is not me, and horribly insulting.
This worked:
Develop a picture in your mind. Picture your mother as being only 3 inches tall. When she enters your mind and starts with her crap take your thumb and forefinger, pick her up by the back of the neck and carry her (kicking and screaming) over to an imaginary well and drop her in.
The picture will be in your mind, the action with the thumb and forefinger will be real.
No one ever noticed my little act. In the beginning I did it almost continuously, but gradually my tormentor found it more and more difficult to climb out of the well, so I did it less and less. Finally, the SOB stayed in his well.
Try it. Go through the little pantomime and see if you do not feel a sense of power over her.
And stop calling her "Mom". Use her first name when you speak of her.
Later, you may want to write her a final letter (it was years for me) and use her first name in the letter. She does not deserve the title, Mom".
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