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I think this come down to a “leader” or “follower” mentality. Some people, when given absolute freedom over their lives, feel lost and out of control without someone telling them what to do all the time. It’s almost like they feel empty without having someone to take orders from, or maybe they’re just indecisive and incapable of making up their own mind. Or they would rather leave the decisions up to someone else so it’s not their “fault” when something goes wrong. I’ve even had some people tell me they like being told what to do, which is something I can’t empathize with at all.
I myself prefer to be the one calling the shots, even if the blame for making the wrong decision falls back on me. The risks and responsibilities are much greater, but the freedom that comes with it makes it worth it IMO. I’ve always butted heads with authority figures in my life and have found self-employment to be my best option, as I’m my own boss and don’t have to answer to anyone or deal with their BS. I can pick and choose the work I want to do, the customers I want to work with, and have the final say in any decision. Have no qualms about telling a bad customer that I refuse to do business with them. Can’t stand being subjected to the ever changing whims of someone else and being expected to follow them without question.
What do you guys think about this? Are you the type of person who wants (or needs) someone else telling them what to do, or are you more likely to go your own way?
Excuse me, but I think your attitude is biased, even self-serving.
People with your mindset tend to glorify their stance as somehow more praiseworthy, demeaning others as weak, unimaginative, or sheeplike. It's a good choice for you, since you say you have problems with authority. I often wonder if people with authority issues have some paranoid panic about being "controlled."
Some people who prefer to be "leaders" own substantial businesses and do very well. However, most boss-less people are just freelancers - computer techs, gardeners, plumbers. In general, I find them to be unreliable and inefficient. The way you word your attitude toward customers makes me guess that you're not someone I'd want to hire. You don't want to follow the whims of others, but you clearly expect them to follow your whims. You may think you sound noble in saying that you take the blame, but that can still end up screwing the customer.
I'm happy to work for others who are smarter or more experienced than I, learning along the way.
The way you word your attitude toward customers makes me guess that you're not someone I'd want to hire. You don't want to follow the whims of others, but you clearly expect them to follow your whims. You may think you sound noble in saying that you take the blame, but that can still end up screwing the customer.
I'm NOT of the philosophy that "The customer is always right" and I'm not willing to bend over backwards to please an unreasonable person. I work as a mechanic for a living and I've always said regarding customers "I'm here to fix your car, not kiss your ass!" and I live by that sentiment. I'm more than willing to work with reasonable people with realistic time/cost expectations, but some people are not worth doing business with. Bad customers come in all shapes and sizes, but the ones that irk me the most are the un-pleasable cheapskates who want everything done in 20 minutes for next to nothing.
I know that mechanics aren't held in the highest regard by the general public, they are mostly seen as con artists who "want to sell you a bunch of work that your car doesn't need". I can't stand the people in this field like that that give it a bad name. If you bring your car to me with a problem, I'll diagnose that problem first, then look over your car to see if anything else needs attention. I'll gladly explain how I came up with my diagnosis, show you whatever parts are bad, the course of action needed to repair the vehicle, and the cost of the parts and labor. Then it's all up to the customer whether they want the work done or not. No skin off my nose if they say no, they'll always be more cars that need repaired.
Some people with your attitude come off as people who are defensive, or overbearing, or have a chip on their shoulders. Not saying you're one of them, but it can be a fine line you have to walk.
By the way, I admire the hell out of mechanics -- or any skilled blue collar person -- mainly because I have zero mechanical aptitude. People who refer to mechanics as "grease monkeys" are just flat-out ignorant.
I don't know that it is so much that people need someone to tell them what to do. I think it is more that a hefty % of the population is reluctant to take any responsibility.
So in business, the military, church, clubs, there has to be someone who takes responsibility and makes decisions. That person will be the "boss". If no one will make decisions, which involves taking some responsibility, then the business, church , club will fail.
I suspect that the no responsibility people are absolutely happy to sit around without anyone telling them what to do. They do nothing that involves taking responsibility and are perfectly fine with it...except that a lot of them are really angry that they don't have enough money or enough stuff. Not that they will go out and get it for themselves, because that involves risk, decision making, and taking responsibility.
Last edited by oregonwoodsmoke; 09-14-2017 at 10:21 AM..
Yes, people who prefer others to take the risks/responsibilities (including the financial ones) of being in charge live empty lives while you clearly lead a better, fuller one.
Meanwhile, I've often found that those who cannot handle any authority are usually immune to any criticism even when at fault, and tend to be insecure.
Yes, people who prefer others to take the risks/responsibilities (including the financial ones) of being in charge live empty lives while you clearly lead a better, fuller one.
Meanwhile, I've often found that those who cannot handle any authority are usually immune to any criticism even when at fault, and tend to be insecure.
Right, real leadership and authority isn't about always being right and being unable to compromise. Someone who absolutely has to be a lone wolf (can be, but) isn't necessarily strong and principled.
Right, real leadership and authority isn't about always being right and being unable to compromise.
It's not that I'm unwilling to compromise, it's just that I get to decide where that line is drawn before I say "Enough is enough" instead of leaving that up to someone else. As I said before I'm more than willing to work with REASONABLE people. But anybody who's been in business before knows that some people just aren't worth dealing with.
I don't know that it is so much that people need someone to tell them what to do. I think it is more that a hefty % of the population is reluctant to take any responsibility.
So in business, the military, church, clubs, there has to be someone who takes responsibility and makes decisions. That person will be the "boss". If no one will make decisions, which involves taking some responsibility, then the business, church , club will fail.
I suspect that the no responsibility people are absolutely happy to sit around without anyone telling them what to do. They do nothing that involves taking responsibility and are perfectly fine with it...except that a lot of them are really angry that they don't have enough money or enough stuff. Not that they will go out and get it for themselves, because that involves risk, decision making, and taking responsibility.
Totally agree with you! I think people would rather leave the decision making to someone else so that if things go wrong they can point their finger and say "It wasn't my fault, so and so made that decision!"
If my boss assigns me a task (that's what I do - I'm a support person) and I don't know how to approach it, I ASK. That's not being a "follower" - I'm good at my job because I look for solutions prior to asking (while not wasting time on it if I just can't figure something out or need a little guidance) and USUALLY find them. I'm CERTAINLY no "follower". Now I do have coworkers who THINK they're leaders, but are woefully lacking at doing their jobs because they won't ask for help when they need it. They are too arrogant.
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