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Yeah. I'm really bothered by the "stay out of it" crowd. This is family and a child's life is at stake. Yeah, I'm sure there's all kind of dysfunction to go around, the OP included, but the child to be born is blameless in all this. And just about anything is better than being born to live on the streets. I can't imagine standing by and blithely saying it's not my concern. That just speaks to a lack of moral awareness.
Yes; if the OP were just a casual acquaintance? I could understand a hesitation about "stepping on toes" but OP is going to be an Uncle ... family matters ARE his business.
I find it heartbreaking to read sometimes the feelings of persons who were adopted, on online forums & message boards. These people are in their 30's, 40's 50's & up ... who are searching for an answer to the question "What happened?" & "Did I matter?"
It doesn't seem to matter how many times an adoptive family reassures them throughout the years that obviously; they mattered so much to THEM. They still want to know everything from the source. If I were the OP, eventually I think I'd just have to decide to put myself out there.
That way, in 30 years if I had someone show up at my doorstep asking "what happened?" I'd be able to look them in the eye & answer. I'd be able to say "I've cared about you, since before you were born".
As far as the authorities; if she has seen a doctor or goes to the homeless clinic here, they are well connected with resources for pregnant women. This, unfortunately, happens all the time. If she receives no prenatal care, that is considered a form of neglect by the hospitals, who will notify when the baby is born.
i'm guessing your parents are past retirement, in their 60s or close to 70? plus you said your parents are divorced and dad is out of the picture? so only your mom would look after the grandchild?
Would it really be ideal to spend her retirement years raising a newborn child ? She'll be in her 80s or 90s and taking care of a teenager? Thats kind of selfish to put the burden on your mom like that.
I would hope you would reach out to your sister. Let her know you know of her pregnancy & that if she needs help she can call you. Sometimes when that baby arrives, any animosity within the family disappears.
Why cause more worries and stress for your old mother? What can she do about it besides getting stressed out? Is it possible you are just being a busy body trying to cause more problems and trouble for both your mother and sister because, to quote you, they both irritate the crap out of you?
It doesn't sound like you're concerned about your sister's or your mother's well being and state of mind.
But if you're sincerely concerned about the baby's welfare then put your money where your mouth is and tell your sister that if she can't support the baby (if the baby even survives the pregnancy) you will adopt it and raise it yourself as your own child. You can also offer to help your sister throughout her pregnancy to give her a chance of a healthier pregnancy and a healthier baby. Maybe you could invite her to come live with you during her pregnancy and then you would be looking after the unborn baby's health and welfare that way too, while it is still in the womb.
If you can't be bothered to offer to help your sister in her and her baby's time of need and to offer to adopt the baby then you should mind your own business and not say anything to anybody and leave your sister alone to live her life as she sees fit. Don't be a trouble maker. She already has more than enough troubles on her plate without you adding to them.
I decided to call my mother and my father. We had a pleasant conversation. My mother said that my sister was excited at first to be pregnant, but that didn't last long. Now she doesn't like being pregnant. These conversations occurred during jail visits. My father and mother pooled their funds and bailed her out of jail. My mother told me that my sister had been staying at our mother's house six times over the last two years. All she had to do was keep her room clean and go to work at a minimum wage job. Every single time, she would obey house rules for a little while, then she would find some guy at a bar, and then move out and stay with him.
The father of this baby is headed to prison for 15 years for dealing drugs (meth) and my sister was charged with being an accessory. Last time she was bailed out, she had to do UA tests and failed. She got an arrest warrant for that.
To those of you who think I should just butt out, well I guess you don't care about an innocent baby being born into one of the worst possible situations available. That is why I canceled my previous self-imposed no-contact rule. A baby does not deserve this, period, end of story.
It appears very likely that my sister will give up the baby for adoption -- good!
I'm not the only one who follows her on facebook. My mother said that she tried to e-friend her and was rejected (as was I).
My sister has internet access because she has a phone but no calling features, only wi-fi. She logs into a public wi-fi network nearby. I don't know where she lives.
Meh, she put it on <edit>social media , privacy is up for grabs at that point.
I'd say something; there is various wellbeing at stake, and someone whose competence is compromised.
Think about this baby. Unless your sister plans on giving it up for adoption, what kind of a life is it going to have? Your sister is an adult and unless she is incompetent she is responsible for her own actions and mistakes. But unfortunately now she is bringing a helpless child into the world. Is she getting prenatal care? Is she going to have this baby in a hospital or in a homeless camp? Not only would I tell one or both of your parents, I would be bringing social services into the picture.
SO glad to hear all this, Alonso Gil !!
Of course, not the parts about jail or drugs.
So funny the lives we lead and the situations we get in...the people we get attracted to...
it's like a movie. Never a dull moment!
Good luck to you and everyone. xo
Miss Hepburn
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