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OP, I could not disagree more. Always follow the wishes of the deceased person.
And I strongly disagree that wanting no funeral is selfish.
I agree. I do not want to place the burden of a funeral on my family, which is spread far and wide. It is very expensive, and inconvenient to travel to a funeral. Also, although we are devout, we have never been church goers. To have some rent a minister who doesnt even know me, officiating seems kind of embarrassing to me.
Hubby and I decided whomever goes first, will just keep the ashes and when the other one dies, the kids can plant us wherever they want.
If something changes, and we move closer to family and have a church then we might change the plan a bit. My sister just died in the town where she’s always lived, and where most of her children live. She was buried in a pretty cemetery with room enough for other family. That is perfect, but we do not have any roots where we live now.
Also, even though there were a lot of people at her funeral, there were only 7 family members besides her children and grandchildren. Imagine if she’d lived far away, as we do. They would have held a big funeral for only a handful of family members.
Last edited by gentlearts; 11-14-2017 at 07:23 AM..
That doesn't have to involve a funeral, and doesn't even have to involve the family.
Two words: direct cremation. I agree that the funeral industry is -- or at least can be -- a racket, and the most despicable kind (manipulating and taking advantage of people's emotions at a vulnerable time).
Well, they do have to dispose of the remains some how. They can't just set you out at the curb on trash day.
Why not? Who would know? If it's a container of ashes in with other trash really how would anyone know? I'm not saying every should put Uncle Albert in the trash bin, but I'm sure it's happened.
Two words: direct cremation. I agree that the funeral industry is -- or at least can be -- a racket, and the most despicable kind (manipulating and taking advantage of people's emotions at a vulnerable time).
Agreed about (some?many?) people in that industry operate.
Hoping for a time when our remains may just be drug into the woods and allowed to return to nature through exposure as part of the ecosystem. That's not for everyone, but that is how I would like it handled for me.
Why not? Who would know? If it's a container of ashes in with other trash really how would anyone know? I'm not saying every should put Uncle Albert in the trash bin, but I'm sure it's happened.
To me, the body is like old clothes or a totaled car. It was just something you wore or drove at one time and now no longer need (the spirit that inhabited it having left it). Not to say it shouldn't be disposed of properly, legally, and respectfully, but it's not "the person." YMMV.
A Celebration of Life is not. It can be held anywhere, at any time, by anyone. It is usually a pleasant gathering by people who knew the decedent, and wanted to get together in their name.
Nowadays, people often pass away without friends and neighbors - even distant relatives - knowing about it. Yes, they still list deaths in the local Obits, but how many people read the papers any more? Everything is online now, and most of us don't think to look at online obits.
This leads to wakes and funerals being sparsely attended, sometimes embarrassingly so. I would not want that. I think the days of the big, overflowing funeral with a long procession of cars, is coming to an end. Our lives have changed in many ways since the advent of the internet. This is just another one of them.
Why not? Who would know? If it's a container of ashes in with other trash really how would anyone know? I'm not saying every should put Uncle Albert in the trash bin, but I'm sure it's happened.
Remember Monty Python? "We can bury her, burn her, or dump her."
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