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Remember Monty Python? "We can bury her, burn her, or dump her."
Ah, yes, Monty Python and the Holy Grail!
The Cartman: "Bring out your dead!"
Old Man: "I ain't dead, yet!"
The Cartman: "He says he's not dead, yet."
Soldier: "He isn't? Oh, well, he will be soon, he's very ill."
Old Man: "No I'm not, I'm getting better!
Soldier: "No, you're not, you're going to be stone cold dead in a moment!"
The Cartman: "I can't take him -- it's against regulations."
Soldier: "Can you wait around a little while?"
Remember Monty Python? "We can bury her, burn her, or dump her."
I live near where a lady put people's ashes over her roses. She is now serving time. Her hubby owned a respected funeral home. I think she was a second wife, or something. Anyhoo, when he passed away, she took over the funeral business. She messed up the business, royally. Loved ones thought she was doing the right thing, with their beloved's ashes.
The people that bought that place......ooooh....man, you should see those roses...........they are something beautiful. Yikes.........she was a nasty old woman. Darling family tree. I wonder if that house is haunted. Kind of creepy. I thought the new owners would tear the place down, and re-build. They did not. It is a beautiful house....................guess they got a huge bargain. No thanks. Guess, it does not bother them,
I live near where a lady put people's ashes over her roses. She is now serving time.<>
Cremains are just phosphorus and calcium and not considered human material so why is she serving time?
wiki: Cremated remains (aka "cremains" or simply, "ashes"), which do not constitute a health risk,
may be buried or interred in memorial sites or cemeteries,
or they may be retained by relatives and dispersed in various ways.
American Rose Society recommends bone meal as a fertilizer.
"Good Choice"
I've seen people spend THOUSANDS on those funerals and for WHAT? Who gets richer...It's old tradition I guess. In the old days, people were laid out at home and people visited the dead at home. Now that sounds so grim.
A little get together and cremation is what I'd like if anything.
My neighbor still has her brother's remains in a shoebox in the cupboard.
My late mother had never wanted a funeral. When she died of cancer, she had a simple memorial service in accordance with her wishes and some family members were very unhappy. For my mom, she hated the public show and fakeness that often goes hand in hand with a large funeral. She didn't want to have a bunch of people saying a bunch of nice things about her in public when privately they didn't even know or like her. The people who were most upset were the ones who hadn't even kept in touch with her for years.
My mom would not have minded family members coming together for some sort of informal service, because that would be genuine.
I would certainly abide by the deceased's expressed wishes. I know lots of people who do not wish have a formal funeral. However, I would get together with anyone who wanted to come & do something in celebration & honor of our friendship.
I am big on planting trees in my yard in memory of friends & family, specific to their personality. But you could give money for a memorial tree to be planted in a neighborhood park, or a park bench purchase, or something that fits with whatever the deceased liked to do. For instance, yesterday I saw a cool memorial school bell in front of an elementary school. Or you could have a dessert party or an ice cream social or a fireworks display party. If the person is formal do something more formal.
First off, I want to say I purposefully didn't put this under Grief and Mourning. If a mod wants to move it, thats fine... as it is related... but I'm not actually in grief or mourning or need help in that regards.
Anyway, I can't understand why someone wouldn't want a funeral. I respect my aunts wishes, but a funeral isn't for the dead, but for the living. Her mother has been so distraught and even said she was angry with my aunt, hopefully with time that will pass.
This is more of a rant then anything, while I really do respect my aunts wishes for what she wants and we can all choose how we end and are remembered, but I don't agree with her, I think not allowing the family closure was a really selfish decision. I can understand if the family had financial problems or some family disputes, but there are none. Her passing was expected as she had been fighting cancer and she fairly well planned out her final days, even though it came sooner then expected.
My aunts sister is still planning a get together to remember her, but it's a very casual affair at her house, which is fine. But, technically my aunt even requested not to have that. I guess, my point is, besides a rant, is that I hope people will rethink not having a funeral. I think its a way to make us understand that life really is over. It doesn't feel like she is gone at all... Anyway, rant over... Maybe someone can offer a different perspective and make me change my mind or at least help me understand why someone would make a choice like this.
it's her decision and her's alone, so you should respect that. Ultimately, it's not about you.
Why not have a wake? Or just a potluck remembrance get together?
I am old too and I don't want to waste thousands of dollars on a funeral. That has always been a custom I disliked.
Wakes aren't free. Wakes at churches or funeral parlors still can cost a fortune. Not everyone wants that spectacle. I certainly don't. If you have great things to say about me, say them while I'm alive and can hear it. I hate the 2 faced twits that come out of the woodwork when someone passes. If I matter to you, have a relationship with me now. It does neither one of us any good if you wait until I'm dead! I'm not one for drama or pomp and circumstance. A few folks want to go out to dinner together, that's great, but there will be no funeral or wake. Many folks pass on both. I don't even care if there's an obit. Anyone who mattered in my life will know I'm dead.
Cremains are just phosphorus and calcium and not considered human material so why is she serving time?
Maybe they were cremains that belonged to someone else? There's several laws about that, but most of them seem to be civil cases, not criminal cases -- i.e., you can sue a funeral director for mishandling of human remains and for emotional distress.
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