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She’s 22, and over the past few years we’ve formed this brother/sister type relationship, which I think is kinda nice because I never had a sibling growing up. My girlfriend and I are becoming very concerned about her because of increased drinking. I can admit that I used to be a very big drinker and there were times I’d booze pretty hardcore if I was around her, thought nothing of it. Anyway, it’s escalating to this dangerous level.
She’s told me about drinking alone and there have been times where, after we’ve taken her out to dinner and I’m walking her back to her apartment, she’ll want to grab a bottle of wine, which I know is going to be polished off that same night. We just worry and don’t know whether to inform her parents, do a full fledged intervention or just a simple, “ hey, we’re concerned” talk. She’s not even like a sad girl, very sociable, very amiable. I don’t know if she drinks weekdays, but I know Friday and Saturday she hits it hard. What can we do?
I think it's worthy of a "we're concerned" conversation at the very least. You can let her know you used to be a big drinker too, and your reasoning for dialing it back. I know plenty of young people who drink heavily on the weekend, I certainly had my moments. But I didn't continue to drink alone after the night out ended. Yes, say something to her, let her know it hasn't gone unnoticed.
One of the questions therapists will ask during a screening for alcoholism is "has any of your close friends or family expressed concern over your drinking?" So yes, I think you should go ahead and express concern. Even if she balks it'll put the question in her head and make her start mulling it over. Eventually she might decide to examine her drinking on her own. To a professional just the fact that you are concerned IS a sign of some level of addiction.
Lots of people her age "hit it hard" on friday and saturday nights.
Informing her parents would just alienate you from her.
You could tell HER you're concerned, but at 22 she's gonna do what she wants...be you concerned or not.
I mean, somehow she needs to hear that’s it’s a problem
So if you really care about her then quit beating around the bush about it and deal with it, just man up and tell her yourself that you're concerned about her drinking. Don't go dumping it onto her parents' laps to worry about and deal with or else you'll end up causing more problems within the whole family.
I’ve seen her hammered and sloppy plenty of times, again, she’s openly talked about drinking alone, as if there’s nothing wrong, and, even during the times where she’s over at our place and we’re not drinking, she will be.
I think it's totally warranted for you and your girlfriend to express your concern.
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