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Sounds like they want the kid to get a party including the other side of his family. Though I don't get why they don't make it for both the kids..
I think the kids know they only have one actual birthday. I had friends who has two parties due to family situations and people not wanting left out.
Just say you can't go. Suggest you meet for dinner that evening or something.
If you don't want to go just say no. Perhaps invite the family to your house for a home cooked meal or dessert so you get to see them while they are in town.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 11 days ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crd08
Sounds like they want the kid to get a party including the other side of his family. Though I don't get why they don't make it for both the kids..
I think the kids know they only have one actual birthday. I had friends who has two parties due to family situations and people not wanting left out.
Just say you can't go. Suggest you meet for dinner that evening or something.
I'm stuck on that too, and want to know more.
Is the one they do this for kind of friendless? So they do what they can to surround him with support and love? Is it likely he doesn't get much affirmation in general?
It's just so curious to me that they do this for the one child, and not for the other.
In some families it is very common to have huge birthday celebrations with all of the relatives, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Imagine if you were the family that lived out of town and your child never was able to have a party like that
I'm with this poster. There are circumstances that could warrant celebrating a child's birthday like this. Let's say you lived near a big extended family when you were younger and enjoyed having parties like this. Let's say your family still does this but you moved away. If given the opportunity, wouldn't you want your kid to experience that as well?
Does it really matter if his birthday is two months away? It is a great excuse for family to get together. If I did that, I wouldn't make it a gift grab though. Just have people show up to have a party. My family did that once for someone that moved away. We had a great time. Sometimes you can't line up someone's birthday with the time to get family together for it. Sure, if the birthday is in the summer and kids are off from school, that's easy. But if not, maybe making a road trip during the winter break (usually late February for some schools) is doable. What better time to get together?
If you don't want to go just say no. Perhaps invite the family to your house for a home cooked meal or dessert so you get to see them while they are in town.
Thank you.
I'll have to try to meet them somewhere else. My home isn't suitable for company.
Without knowing anymore that what the OP has stated, I'd say if you love the family, just suck it up and do it. They wouldn't be going through the trouble if it didn't mean a lot to them, and denying a birthday party (no matter how anachronistic and silly the concept) would just be seen as mean-spirited.
And obviously, appropriately modest gifts can be given without spoiling the child.
I'm with this poster. There are circumstances that could warrant celebrating a child's birthday like this. Let's say you lived near a big extended family when you were younger and enjoyed having parties like this. Let's say your family still does this but you moved away. If given the opportunity, wouldn't you want your kid to experience that as well?
Does it really matter if his birthday is two months away? It is a great excuse for family to get together. If I did that, I wouldn't make it a gift grab though. Just have people show up to have a party. My family did that once for someone that moved away. We had a great time. Sometimes you can't line up someone's birthday with the time to get family together for it. Sure, if the birthday is in the summer and kids are off from school, that's easy. But if not, maybe making a road trip during the winter break (usually late February for some schools) is doable. What better time to get together?
Why does the family need "an excuse" to get together?
These people come from out of state, that's good enough reason to get together for extended family.
This sounds like a good way to spoil a kid and have problems later down the road, the "present" should be you get to see extended family when you visit them, not expect faux birthday parties.
When people move away from families there are some events and holidays you're going to miss, children can and should understand this.
I don't blame the OP, they also brought up a valid point about trying to fit gifts into suitcases, or having to pay extra to get them on the plane.
It looks like nothing more than a "gift grab" when you have a birthday party months away from the actual birthday, it also sends the wrong message to kids. That you get a party and gifts when you visit people.
The visit is the gift.
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