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I am curious about how people go about making friends after hitting 40. I'm a working mother of 2 with no family around where I live. Besides meeting other parents at the playground or at school activities or birthday parties there is almost no contact with other people. Maybe a conversation with a neighbor or getting together with a fellow mom here and there I find it hard to meet other people for family friendship to hang out during the holidays or for a BBQ in the summer. Any ideas?
Do you have any hobbies or interests? Otherwise, I suggest that you seek out some volunteer work or find a part time job. It's a great way to meet new people.
Libraries need volunteers, also animal shelters and rescues.
Can you get away from your family for a night or two? My writing group has lots of parents that use that as their "night out" and the group tends to form close friendships. Same with the book groups I'm aware of.
Also, I'm 41 (not a mom or married) - a lot of the new friends I'm making these days are younger people in their 20s. They crack me up. I love hanging with them. I also have a bunch of somewhat older friends that I adore, some of whom are working moms.
I have a friend who uses a site called "Bumble" to find platonic friends. She's in her 20s though and I'm not sure how many people our age are on there. In any case, it's a dating site but they have a subsite that is entirely nonromantic - just women looking for friendships with each other.
I have met my friends through my writing and book groups, through my involvement in dog sports (lots of moms in that) and just randomly at concerts and parks.
After 40, one good way to make friends is to ask them for help on something and then use that as a springboard. Offer to help them with something, or take them out for lunch as a "thank-you" or the like.
Also, go on youtube and search for "the art of small talk." Watch a few videos.
Also, go on youtube and search for "how to make friends after 40." Watch a few videos to get some ideas.
I just always found it easy to make friends. I talk to everyone. I mentioned that we just got off of the roller skating rink to the manager of the Indian restaurant we go to every Friday, and he asked if he could go skating with us. I said sure and we exchanged numbers We are now great friends even though they are about 25 years younger then us. I call them my Indian children and their 5 year old is deeply attached to us. We spend every Monday with them and we have so much fun together. They are such a joy
I think being on Facebook helps as well. My phone dinged at 130am and it was a work friends husband in the Philippines wanting to chat. My friend died a couple of years back but she is still on my Facebook friend list. Hopefully we will get together in May when he comes back to America. Facebook makes it easy to keep in touch with people that fall off your radar. We might not see each other in person but we can still talk via Messenger.
I've made friends here on City Data as well and spent some time with one friend in Scotland. We had so much fun. I have City Data friends in Maine as well that I've met up with and are on my Facebook. I think social media is a great thing.
Then I make friends with my friends friends. Why not? It's always nice when we're all together. It's not hard to meet people if you're an extrovert on steroids
I made friends in my 40s and 50s by volunteering. When my daughter was in elementary school I was on a PTA committee and we did several projects together that led to a couple of friendships. That was 6+ years ago and I don't hang out with those ladies anymore, but considered them friends at the time. I also volunteered by helping to coach an academic team while my daughter was in high school and became friends with the other volunteer/parent coaches. Now all of our children have graduated but we're still coaching because we like it and it's fun to do it together.
If you're thinking about volunteering, I recommend that you look for a project to do, rather than just showing up for a few hours/week to walk dogs or work at a receptionist desk or something. Friendships grow when you go through something fun or challenging with other people.
I made friends in my 40s and 50s by volunteering. When my daughter was in elementary school I was on a PTA committee and we did several projects together that led to a couple of friendships. That was 6+ years ago and I don't hang out with those ladies anymore, but considered them friends at the time. I also volunteered by helping to coach an academic team while my daughter was in high school and became friends with the other volunteer/parent coaches. Now all of our children have graduated but we're still coaching because we like it and it's fun to do it together.
If you're thinking about volunteering, I recommend that you look for a project to do, rather than just showing up for a few hours/week to walk dogs or work at a receptionist desk or something. Friendships grow when you go through something fun or challenging with other people.
Can you give examples of what you mean by project?
If OP isn't coupled off, she won't have as many social options. In adulthood, especially post age 22-24, couples rule the roost & are exclusionary to not coupled off people.
Romantic relationships are a much bigger priority than friends.
If OP isn't coupled off, she won't have as many social options. In adulthood, especially post age 22-24, couples rule the roost & are exclusionary to not coupled off people.
Romantic relationships are a much bigger priority than friends.
I am married but my husband works across the country and only in town a few days a month. So, I am alone with the kids most of the time, but also work full-time so time is limited. As I said in a previous comment on the thread, I meet moms at the kids' activities we talk and get along while the activity is happening. Once it's over that is the end of the "friendship". So that is why I posted here, just to get ideas on how to connect with others. It's lonely having no family around and no close friends to invite over now and then.
Some people just become isolated from others and the community as they get older. I on the other hand value connecting with people. I feel it's what we're here to do, so not overrated in my case.
Last edited by mdcmm-78; 03-06-2018 at 01:39 PM..
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