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I befriend this girl at work, but now I have come to realize she and I don't mesh. I never feel 100% comfortable around her. I have a few scenarios that rubbed me the wrong way slightly:
- When I text her outside of work, she never replies but replies the next day via our work instant messenger saying: "I forgot to reply to you".
- She knows I'm extremely busy at work since I work on my own, yet she hits me up at soon as I turn on my computer and sends me pictures of her kids.
- We didn't speak for two weeks at some stage and one morning, she hits me up on our office instant messenger .. no "Hi, how are you" nothing, just a link to an interview she was requested to take part in.
- When I went to meet up with her outside of work for coffee, she brought her kids .. I don't have kids, so I cannot relate. Then, when we went to her place, I found her mother laying around on the couch drinking cans of beer (her mom lives with her).
- Right before dinner, she said: "Let's say grace .. X take our friend's hand" - which I didn't know she performed. She and I don't have the same religious affiliations. I would have appreciated it if she had given me a heads up, instead of assuming. Of course, out of politeness, I would have said grace, but she should have warned me.
- When I told her about how my manager wanted me to move overseas, she just shook her head and said: "This is BS" - when she knows it's something I would want in the future. She always redirects the conversation towards herself.
- Whenver she tries to talk to me, I usually struggle to find something to say to her/keep the conversation going, when I'm actually super chatty & bubbly around other people.
Honestly, I could list reasons. I discussed it with another friend of mine who has seen her and she tells me she's not feeling this girl at all.
Should I cut her loose?
Last edited by LostinPhilly; 03-29-2018 at 12:01 PM..
Obviously you're not comfortable with the relationship. The fact you haven't cut someone loose in a long, long time is irrelevant. That has nothing to do with anything.
btw, not a good idea to get close to work colleagues.
Obviously you're not comfortable with the relationship. The fact you haven't cut someone loose in a long, long time is irrelevant. That has nothing to do with anything.
btw, not a good idea to get close to work colleagues.
It's mainly because I spent a long time being on my own, that whenever I found friends, I would cling on to them even if they are not a fit me out of fear of being "alone".
We do not work in the same department/floor at all. We don't have to interact unless outside of work, so I'm fine on that aspect.
She started telling me she "loves" me after a few months (when I only saw her once outside of work). Not to mention, one day I told her I had to stay at work late & she keep pressuring me to leave early. She doesn't seem to respect my boundaries.
It's mainly because I spent a long time being on my own, that whenever I found friends, I would cling on to them even if they are not a fit me out of fear of being "alone".
We do not work in the same department/floor at all. We don't have to interact unless outside of work, so I'm fine on that aspect.
She started telling me she "loves" me after a few months (when I only saw her once outside of work). Not to mention, one day I told her I had to stay at work late & she keep pressuring me to leave early. She doesn't seem to respect my boundaries.
You're not 'listening'. I said the fact you haven't cut someone loose in a long time is irrelevant - it means nothing, ............then you go on to explain it. I didn't ask you why. Again -it has nothing to do with anything.
Same dept/different dept....doesn't matter. She is a co-worker.
She started telling you she loves you....and you build a 'friendship' with this person, a weird co-worker.
No need to make a production of 'cutting her loose'. You can either steer away from her or remain in a strange relationship. The choice is yours.
Cut her out of your life. Quit responding to emails, phone, etc. Hopefully she'll get the hint. If she asks, just tell her the friendship is impossible because you have nothing in common. It may sound rude, but she has been quite rude herself and may be persistent unless you're blunt. Good luck.
You're not 'listening'. I said the fact you haven't cut someone loose in a long time is irrelevant - it means nothing, ............then you go on to explain it. I didn't ask you why. Again -it has nothing to do with anything.
Same dept/different dept....doesn't matter. She is a co-worker.
She started telling you she loves you....and you build a 'friendship' with this person, a weird co-worker.
No need to make a production of 'cutting her loose'. You can either steer away from her or remain in a strange relationship. The choice is yours.
She told me she loves me a week ago!
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