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Does anyone else wonder why? My entire extended family lives 7,000 miles away, so I hardly know any of them to this day. I just wish that people who are blessed to have a large and supportive family nearby would realize that not everyone is as blessed as them and that then they would be more welcoming to outsiders.
Are all cultures like this? Or are there cultures where it is entirely appropriate to ask to see a friend’s family? For one, there is no such concept in my family; if my friend asked to see my brother or my parents, both I and my brother/parents would gladly agree.
I know this is a weird question, but I have Asperger’s. In middle school and high school I was bullied because I was in a lower-level math class than most people (it was a very competitive school where it was a stigma NOT to be a nerd). Hardly made any friends throughout school because of that. If I had a large and supportive family nearby, at least I would have them as friends, and it would be easier to take the loneliness at school.
I don't see why it's a problem to ask a friend to meet his or her family....the only thing to watch out for would be that you might want to become clingy with someone's family.
Let your friends know you'd like to meet their family but don't expect outright that they would be willing to include you in all family gatherings.
Many, many adults do not have extended family nearby. That's why they make friends instead.
The only friends I have whose families I've met are the handful of friends I've known since childhood, college roommates, etc. Generally, any friends you make as an adult are independently your friends--they don't come as a package deal with parents and siblings. You might meet their family at a wedding or something, but it's not something that you ask about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrJester
If I had a large and supportive family nearby, at least I would have them as friends, and it would be easier to take the loneliness at school.
What resources at your school have you used to create a bigger network of friends and acquaintances? On your campus there are probably Engineering student groups, Asian student groups, Christian student groups, music groups, maybe even groups for people on the Asperger's spectrum or at least a Student Life office that might have tools to help you socialize better. Making friends with your classmates' families is odd and limiting when there are so many other options in your backyard.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 04-19-2018 at 11:03 AM..
Adults become their own people and live their own lives. If they live near each other, and if you are good friends, you may meet their family at social events or milestone events, like birthday parties, or wedding showers. Those things kind of just happen organically when someone invites their closest family and friends to things. If it is something you have to ask for, then you either aren't close enough friends, or they aren't close to their family, or they maybe they like to keep things compartmentalized.
I think the friendship would have to exist for a length of time before anyone would have you meet their family. It's a very personal experience to "share" your family with anyone and even then, it really depends on how close you really are. The thought is, are you really friends or just acquaintances? If you were just an acquaintance, I wouldn't introduce you to my family. Give your friendships time and asking to meet someone's family early in a friendship can come across as creepy and pushy. The invitation should come from your friend.
However, I can relate to how you're feeling as my family (by this I mean siblings and my mom) live over 1,000 miles away. I do miss them; especially around the holidays.
[quote=fleetiebelle;51663118]The only friends I have whose families I've met are the handful of friends I've known since childhood, college roommates, etc. Generally, any friends you make as an adult are independently your friends--they don't come as a package deal with parents and siblings. You might meet their family at a wedding or something, but it's not something that you ask about.
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Agreed, that is the point I was trying to make, that you can create your own family as an adult, you don't need to further glom onto their own families.
The only time I can really see it being appropriate is if you have a romantic interest in this person and you two have been dating for awhile. Even then it should only be considered if the both of you feel what you share is serious and meeting each other's family will move the relationship forward.
But asking outright to a friend, even ones you've known and are really good with, would be weird. Don't get me wrong I've met the parents and siblings of many of my friends but they all been on the part of that friend, never me forcing something so that it happens.
Yes, OP, it's kind of a weird question. For one thing, asking to meet someone's family puts your friends on the spot. It's considered rude or an imposition, because you're not supposed to invite yourself to people's homes, nor into their families. THEY are supposed to do the inviting. You leave people free to do that, at which time they see fit.
Your own little circle of friends can be your family. If you're feeling needy, and hanging out with friends doesn't do it for you, please seek counseling.
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