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I grew up with my friend and have known each other for decades. He got married a few years ago and ever since has been acting differently. Lately he has had a pattern of becoming materialistic and frankly, extremely cheap. He makes very good money ($200k+), is a member at exclusive country clubs and does many high end trips with his wife.
I received a invitation to his birthday last week and he is charging $50 per person to attend. He is essentially renting out a bar and is trying to get everyone the pitch in for it. Between my wife and I, that’s $100 just to attend (not including food, presents, etc)
While my wife and I have the money, we are a little astonished that we have to pay an admission to attend our friends birthday. We host (and mutual friends of ours host all of us often) and typically we assume if you are hosting, you are paying. Sometimes we all host with “Potluck style” or ask the couple to bring wine/an appetizer, etc is the norm.
Does anyone else think it’s a bit tacky/cheap of my friend to charge everyone a room rental fee for his birthday? Am I making a big deal about nothing?
I don't care what people do, I really don't, seriously but it's very tacky to expect those he considers friends to finance a party he can comfortably foot the bill for. let's be real here...
The man is making 200 K a year , belongs to a country club, high-end trips (travel the world..let's call it for what it is..probably not flying coach or staying at Red Roof Inn) and he wants people to foot the bill for his birthday at $50 a head? When he belongs to a country club and can afford all the other things, pardon my expression, he ain't cheap, he is greedy.
Of course, people will say"no one is making anyone go or putting a gun to their heads", but that's not the point. Why exploit and take advantage of people who cared enough to share in his day, even as tacky as it is?
Renting out a bar?? If he is living in a sizeable and upscale home, shouldn't it be equipped with a bar AND stocked??
if you don't go, then you run the risk of alienation and then you will have to eventually question the validity of this friendship so you are in a precarious position. Seriously, real friends don't do this to one another. I would personally never expect anyone to foot the bill for my birthday or feel they have to pay for my hospitality. When you come to my home, you are MY guest and I pay for all food and drinks. if I can't do that, then I have no business inviting people to my home. The fact that you posted this displays your feelings and trepidation towards the issue.
I'm not disagreeing with you or being disrespectful towards you, but I have to be direct and honest.
Gil3, how much do you think it costs to rent out a bar for a private party...and have an open bar? I have no idea, but it sounds pretty expensive. I doubt the guy is making money on this.
Gil3, how much do you think it costs to rent out a bar for a private party...and have an open bar? I have no idea, but it sounds pretty expensive. I doubt the guy is making money on this.
No one said the guy is "making money on this." Thats not even the issue.
The issue is, if he wants people to attend a party in honor of his birthday, he should pay for it himself. I don't care if it costs him $1000 or $5000 or more. He should have planned something he could afford to pay for. If a big party at a restaurant meant that much to him, and he couldn't stretch his $200K salary to cover it, he could choose to skip one of his world vacations, and use that money to pay for his party. But noooo, he wanted to "have his cake and eat it too," by charging his "friends" to celebrate his birthday.
It would be like a young couple planning a wedding they can't afford, so they charge admission.
OP should print out this thread and mail it to him.
I grew up with my friend and have known each other for decades. He got married a few years ago and ever since has been acting differently. Lately he has had a pattern of becoming materialistic and frankly, extremely cheap. He makes very good money ($200k+), is a member at exclusive country clubs and does many high end trips with his wife.
I received a invitation to his birthday last week and he is charging $50 per person to attend. He is essentially renting out a bar and is trying to get everyone the pitch in for it. Between my wife and I, that’s $100 just to attend (not including food, presents, etc)
While my wife and I have the money, we are a little astonished that we have to pay an admission to attend our friends birthday. We host (and mutual friends of ours host all of us often) and typically we assume if you are hosting, you are paying. Sometimes we all host with “Potluck style†or ask the couple to bring wine/an appetizer, etc is the norm.
Does anyone else think it’s a bit tacky/cheap of my friend to charge everyone a room rental fee for his birthday? Am I making a big deal about nothing?
I was reading a book today and one of the line was " Wealthy is a mindset, not things you have".
When I turned 40, I asked several of my friends if they wanted to meet my wife and I in the Bahamas to celebrate. We knew this would be a big expense for most people, so we only asked those who could afford to take a vacation during that time, and we asked almost a year in advance. Friends were welcome to bring their kids, etc, and make it their vacation as well and not just about my birthday.
Those that wanted to go had a great time, and those that had other things going on, they weren't obligated to go in any way. But for those that did go, I treated everyone to a really nice dinner on the night we all arrived and the night before we all left. I told them upfront not to get me a gift, their presence was certainly enough.
Gil3, how much do you think it costs to rent out a bar for a private party...and have an open bar? I have no idea, but it sounds pretty expensive. I doubt the guy is making money on this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne
No one said the guy is "making money on this."
Unless I'm losing my mind, I believe Gil3 suggested the guy was profiting from this (prior to editing his post).
Unless I'm losing my mind, I believe Gil3 suggested the guy was profiting from this (prior to editing his post).
I did put up a scenario where if 100 people showed up that would be 5K but it was a hypothetical one and yes, that's a nice chunk of change..I highly doubt that many people would show up, but who knows??. Either way, profit or loss, it's still tacky...
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