Do you call out older relatives if they say something offensive? (male, Christian)
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It all reads like older people complaining that back in their day, white people could tell people of color what they preferred to be called and they liked it. (Hint: they did not like it.)
Well, if you quoted ukiyo-e and said that to prove that you are seeing what you want to see - you win! (Hint: The post you quoted doesn't go with what you just said.)
They don't HAVE to, but if they care about being offensive to the group the word offends, they will. Years ago those words may not have been the ones preferred by the group they apply to.
I never said anything about using those words making anyone racist. You read that into my post. I said "bigotry." That's different. My ex still uses the word "Oriental" but he isn't racist at all.
Both "Racist" and "Bigot" have been used extensively in this thread to describe the old man.
I won't mention what my grandma named her black cat..Dear Lord..
Then she would go outside and call the cat very loudly...
Yeah, one of my sisters years ago named her cat the same thing. She still uses the word--and another of our sisters has been married to an African-American man for 40 years.
Remembered a conversation I had with my father, who has been gone 19 years.
He was a man who taught us that racism was "just stupid". When my sister met her black husband in the 1970s, he accepted him immediately, while my mother had a bit more difficulty because of her "what will people think" worries, but it all came together eventually.
But still--in the 90s, I happened to mention the phenomenon that around the early 80's the word "pasta" became popular and came into common use and it suddenly became a trendy and expensive menu item.
My father laughed and said "That's right. Back when I was growing up, white people only ever said 'macaroni' or 'spaghetti'."
I said, "Ummm, 'white people', Dad?" He look surprised and then sheepish and laughed at himself. He said, "Boy, that came from way back when I was a kid. Italians were not considered white in the 1920s. They lived in the 'colored section' of Paterson (NJ) along with the black people."
Despite his own dislike of racism, he realized that he himself was still carrying something around imprinted upon him from childhood.
They don't HAVE to, but if they care about being offensive to the group the word offends, they will. Years ago those words may not have been the ones preferred by the group they apply to.
But the words you mentioned -- like "Indian" and "Oriental" -- don't offend any groups. They might "offend" some individuals (although opinion polls have shown that most American Indians prefer "Indian", and and there's no rational basis for being offended by "Oriental"), but not everyone in your "groups" is identical, and most importantly you have no right to speak for them.
But the words you mentioned -- like "Indian" and "Oriental" -- don't offend any groups. They might "offend" some individuals (although opinion polls have shown that most American Indians prefer "Indian", and and there's no rational basis for being offended by "Oriental"), but not everyone in your "groups" is identical, and most importantly you have no right to speak for them.
My mate is Japanese American. He is very offended when he hears the term "Oriental" to refer to him or another person of Asian descent. The relative in the OP was saying this loudly while dining with my husband and his sibling. It was offensive.
I'm really getting an education from some of the responses to this thread. Frightening the way some people think it's their right to be rude. Whatever word you are using for however long you have used it, if someone says it makes them uncomfortable JUST STOP SAYING IT. This is not political it's just good manners.
But, why are those words offensive now? They obviously weren't offensive decades ago. Just because the Political Correctness police decided that are now offensive?
You're right, people can change if they want to - but why do they HAVE to want to? Just because they don't care/bother to change an old word, because other people tell them that they need to change, that suddenly makes them racist?
That's not the definition of racist as I know it...
Well, just for some perspective, things that were acceptable years ago may not be acceptable now and that's OK.
Remember that slavery was acceptable. Women being denied the right to vote was acceptable. Discriminatory pay practices were acceptable. Racist real estate red lining was acceptable. "Off with his head!" in western society was acceptable - no trial necessary.
When my grandmother was young, African American people were called "nigras." This was the "nice" version of the "n word." Everyone who WASN'T a racist called black people that. My grandmother was one of the least racist people I have ever known but before she finally figured out (without me calling her out I might add) that "nigra" wasn't an acceptable term to use anymore, she would call people by that term. Thankfully, being fairly astute and definitely not racist, about twenty years after it was no longer acceptable, she finally figured out that it was a poor choice of words.
Well, just for some perspective, things that were acceptable years ago may not be acceptable now and that's OK.
Remember that slavery was acceptable. Women being denied the right to vote was acceptable. Discriminatory pay practices were acceptable. Racist real estate red lining was acceptable. "Off with his head!" in western society was acceptable - no trial necessary.
When my grandmother was young, African American people were called "nigras." This was the "nice" version of the "n word." Everyone who WASN'T a racist called black people that. My grandmother was one of the least racist people I have ever known but before she finally figured out (without me calling her out I might add) that "nigra" wasn't an acceptable term to use anymore, she would call people by that term. Thankfully, being fairly astute and definitely not racist, about twenty years after it was no longer acceptable, she finally figured out that it was a poor choice of words.
LBJ finally figured that out when he became president.
No, I don't call out older relatives. I respect my elders because they are older than me. This goes for relatives and acquaintances.
I've had senior citizens who used outdated terms with me. In fact, one 80 year old saw that I was Asian and immediately asked me what country I was from. Uhh, the USA?
I only mentioned that because of his response, as well as his insistence that he should be given a pass to do what he wants because of his age/generation. I used to hear my grandmother say things like "life was different then" or "that person is from a different time and place" to gloss over episodes like this, but she would have rather died than called someone out.
I hate it when older people use their age as an excuse to be rude or racist....not all "old people" are like that thankfully.
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(Hint: The post you quoted doesn't go with what you just said.)
