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This is utterly insane. If you weren't a long time poster, I would have doubted the veracity.
Just crazy.
Was she that classist? Racial component? I can barely comprehend the mentality that would result in this occurring.
It really IS hard to believe, and we couldn't believe even this woman would do such a thing. But it's a true story. Happened during my first right out of college job. It's filed in what passes for my mind under "W" "What The He!!"!!!
Not racist, maybe classicist, this woman was our lab department supervisor ( though she functioned mostly as a nuisance there, and the real supervision was done by the assistant supervisor), and she absolutely looked down on all of the "subordinates" there. She was probably in her 50's then, and most of us were in our early 20's. She had a compelling need to put us all in our places, and took every opportunity she saw to do just that. Maybe that dinner was another way to let us know what nobodies she thought we were.
Thinking back on it, I believe the woman had mental issues, her career ( entirely in that same spot) had been her whole life and she was a has-been by that time, and the only reason she was even still there in that position was due to some misplaced loyalty on the part of a couple of doctors because of her longevity or other reasons they didn't tell us. And the honchos knew what she was doing but catered to her. We were all credentialed, qualified, degreed professionals, and I think she considered us threats, so she did what she could to impose her "supervisor" so called duties on us. She'd sometimes interfere with the testing we did, to the point where we had to repeat the tests, then she'd tell the docs the results were not ready because we were so slow ( though there were too many witnesses for that little trick to fly very often). She'd insist we modify procedures for testing ( that's a BIG no-no), which we knew would invalidate the results, and she'd argue when we told her so. It got to where we just refused to do this testing if she wouldn't let us do it according to the protocol, as it's dangerous and even malpractice to put out test results you know aren't valid. And even when she attempted to do any actual testing, she'd screw it up, and it would have to be repeated- even more blood collected sometimes to do that ( which piZZed us off, as guess who had to draw that blood and face patient questions about repeat blood draws. Not her.
And so it went. She really was a joke in the entire department, but they catered to her. I lasted at that job about 1.5 yrs before I moved on, and I heard tell they finally moved her out of the lab to a job where if she screwed up, she wouldn't hurt anyone. And as I understand it, she died a number of years ago.
We always speculated events from her personal life may have twisted her psyche. The story was that she had been engaged as a young woman, but her fiance ended up marrying her sister and they had 7 kids. I knew they lived in town but she wouldn't have anything to do with them. She also lived at home and cared for her invalid mother, and other than this job, this was it. Might make me nuts too.
Wow, this has been a trip down memory lane for me!
It really IS hard to believe, and we couldn't believe even this woman would do such a thing. But it's a true story. Happened during my first right out of college job. It's filed in what passes for my mind under "W" "What The He!!"!!!
Not racist, maybe classicist, this woman was our lab department supervisor ( though she functioned mostly as a nuisance there, and the real supervision was done by the assistant supervisor), and she absolutely looked down on all of the "subordinates" there. She was probably in her 50's then, and most of us were in our early 20's. She had a compelling need to put us all in our places, and took every opportunity she saw to do just that. Maybe that dinner was another way to let us know what nobodies she thought we were.
Thinking back on it, I believe the woman had mental issues, her career ( entirely in that same spot) had been her whole life and she was a has-been by that time, and the only reason she was even still there in that position was due to some misplaced loyalty on the part of a couple of doctors because of her longevity or other reasons they didn't tell us. And the honchos knew what she was doing but catered to her. We were all credentialed, qualified, degreed professionals, and I think she considered us threats, so she did what she could to impose her "supervisor" so called duties on us. She'd sometimes interfere with the testing we did, to the point where we had to repeat the tests, then she'd tell the docs the results were not ready because we were so slow ( though there were too many witnesses for that little trick to fly very often). She'd insist we modify procedures for testing ( that's a BIG no-no), which we knew would invalidate the results, and she'd argue when we told her so. It got to where we just refused to do this testing if she wouldn't let us do it according to the protocol, as it's dangerous and even malpractice to put out test results you know aren't valid. And even when she attempted to do any actual testing, she'd screw it up, and it would have to be repeated- even more blood collected sometimes to do that ( which piZZed us off, as guess who had to draw that blood and face patient questions about repeat blood draws. Not her.
And so it went. She really was a joke in the entire department, but they catered to her. I lasted at that job about 1.5 yrs before I moved on, and I heard tell they finally moved her out of the lab to a job where if she screwed up, she wouldn't hurt anyone. And as I understand it, she died a number of years ago.
We always speculated events from her personal life may have twisted her psyche. The story was that she had been engaged as a young woman, but her fiance ended up marrying her sister and they had 7 kids. I knew they lived in town but she wouldn't have anything to do with them. She also lived at home and cared for her invalid mother, and other than this job, this was it. Might make me nuts too.
Wow, this has been a trip down memory lane for me!
I realize this happened a long time ago. However, if that happened to me, I would have reported it to HR AND to security. Why security? She was acting a little "off" and as such, security needed to keep a close eye on her. Such people have been known to progress to even more odd behaviors, which could jeopardize their fellow co-workers.
I remember, years ago, I worked for a Catholic hospital. I worked in the dietary department. A priest made a big deal out of giving one of the kitchen workers a "gift" -- a stuffed dog that he probably found in the trash, all torn and covered with garbage, etc. The recipient just accepted the gift as graciously as one could, then reported the incident to her supervisor, who reported it to HR, who, in turn, reported it to security. Of course, they couldn't "fire" the priest, but they kept a close eye on him. He was steered away from patient contact, given other duties. Eventually, he "disappeared" from that hospital. It was rumored he was sent to a mental institution. Regardless, he was kept from interacting with patients and kept out of harm's way until they could "re-assign" him.
Odd behaviors in fellow employees should be reported to insure everyone's safety. IMO, you did the right thing by going along with the dinner, then disengaging as soon as practical. You don't know what buttons you might have pushed if you took issue with the scenario.
Some posts had me laugh out loud, thanks for those.
My grandparents were as far from rich as possible, grandfather born on a farm and he moved up to a salary job as a garbageman when he married, retired to being a handyman for maybe $100/week. But there was always food in their home and my grandmother commented many times that they may not a lot of money but they eat well, a point of pride for their generation born in the early 1900's and adults in the Great Depression. I can still see and taste her homemade meals in my mind, a table with no space for anything more is a treat for the eye.
I'm a BBoomer and remember my surprise when I had holiday dinner at my boyfriend's parents home the first time. They were upper class, not super wealthy, and there was "just enough" food, not much for seconds and none were taken by anybody. They weren't stingy, my future MIL was a doll, but my spouse later told me his father would never allow a birthday dinner to have ice-cream and cake because that was TWO desserts.
Is there such a thing as "too much food"? because leftovers are always eaten (in my house).
I think people that show up with nothing or too little when they have volunteered to bring a dish are passive-aggressive. I can't say which relative I refer to, it's a small world lol.
My motto has always been that it is better to bring/have more food rather than bring less. Bringing 17 slices for for a gathering of 35 people seems either totally clueless or the sign of a tight fisted person. Growing up, my Mom would put about five deli slices of ham and a couple of slices of cheese on a hard roll to make a sandwich.
We went to a family reunion (my Dad's family) and there wasn't enough food or drink to feed all the people that came--probably a hundred. She pulled my Dad aside and told him to get a ride from one of his brothers to go to the nearest store and pick up more of everything. I don't think what was there would have fed 30 people.
It was decades before she ever agreed to travel that distance again. She told him to just go on his own and she thereafter made sure he was well fed before making the annual August trek and always reminded him to bring extra money to make the inevitable grocery store run!
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