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Anyone here have a family member with an addiction? How did you cope ? How do you still cope?
I have a half brother that’s been on heroin for over 15 years now . We have no relationship . He won’t get clean , and if he does go to rehab . It’s for a few days ... then back to the drug
I also have a mom that is a gambling addict . We have a descent relationship. However , she is always broke . Lost a paid off house to gambling and still doesn’t think she has a problem . She doesn’t work , and practically does nothing . She has a lot of good qualities about her but gambling really has been bad since I was a kid.
I moved to a completely different state . I’m married with two kids and I’m the complete opposite of them . I felt like moving out of town was the only way I could live a normal life .
Anyone else have similar situations with immediate family? No family is perfect , I know this .
I had an uncle who was a compulsive gambler. He visited casinos, bet on horse racing, sports, etc.
He was happy when “up” and depressed when “down”. Eventually, my aunt separated from him and they had a bitter divorce. He lost about 35% of the family savings, I’m told.
Since there is no further connection with our family, nobody but his children (my cousins)
have any contact with him.
Anyone here have a family member with an addiction? How did you cope ? How do you still cope?
I have a half brother that’s been on heroin for over 15 years now . We have no relationship . He won’t get clean , and if he does go to rehab . It’s for a few days ... then back to the drug
I also have a mom that is a gambling addict . We have a descent relationship. However , she is always broke . Lost a paid off house to gambling and still doesn’t think she has a problem . She doesn’t work , and practically does nothing . She has a lot of good qualities about her but gambling really has been bad since I was a kid.
I moved to a completely different state . I’m married with two kids and I’m the complete opposite of them . I felt like moving out of town was the only way I could live a normal life .
Anyone else have similar situations with immediate family? No family is perfect , I know this .
Yep - me. I'm an addict. Alcohol was my drug of choice, although I did dabble in some other substances. I've been sober for nearly 20 years, but I still struggle with addiction issues.
I wasn't a daily drinker, I was a binge drinker - when I start, I can't stop. One drink was never possible. Once I start I cannot stop.... My family never really caught on to the issue. But it connected a lot of dots for them once I figured it out.
Thankfully gambling was never an issue for me. I rarely win, so there isn't a 'high' for me to chase.
I have a brother who is mentally ill and who has struggled with addictions his entire life. My parents enabled him. When they both died, his treatment team just sort of assumed I'd take legal guardianship for him. No way. He would wreak havoc on my life and he would never accept me as any sort of authority over him. That term "ward of the state" rings true to me.
My parents left him some money in a Special Needs Trust. It won't last forever but it's some help, and once again they continue to subsidize his lifestyle from the grave - but that's on them, not on me, and there's a legal trustee who handles the funds. I'm out of it.
He currently lives out of state but he's trying to put together a plan to move back here. Ugh, I hope he doesn't pull that off. He keeps trying to get me to take on responsibilities for him but I just say nope, not going to do that.
Because of him, I have moved to a gated community and spent thousands of dollars on a state of the art security system. He has a history of violence and he can easily switch from kind to hatefilled when it comes to me - he wants to cling to me as his only immediate family member on one hand but when I tell him no, on the other hand that really angers him. So yeah, he's always a weight in the back of my mind. But so far I have managed to distance myself from his issues. Hope it stays that way.
Yep - me. I'm an addict. Alcohol was my drug of choice, although I did dabble in some other substances. I've been sober for nearly 20 years, but I still struggle with addiction issues.
I wasn't a daily drinker, I was a binge drinker - when I start, I can't stop. One drink was never possible. Once I start I cannot stop.... My family never really caught on to the issue. But it connected a lot of dots for them once I figured it out.
Thankfully gambling was never an issue for me. I rarely win, so there isn't a 'high' for me to chase.
Did it run in your family? When I was younger I was a drinker myself. I wouldnt drink till I blacked out or anything but I drank a lot. It was the norm in my 20s. My dad was an alcoholic also but died shortly after I was born back in the 80s.
I have a brother who is mentally ill and who has struggled with addictions his entire life. My parents enabled him. When they both died, his treatment team just sort of assumed I'd take legal guardianship for him. No way. He would wreak havoc on my life and he would never accept me as any sort of authority over him. That term "ward of the state" rings true to me.
My parents left him some money in a Special Needs Trust. It won't last forever but it's some help, and once again they continue to subsidize his lifestyle from the grave - but that's on them, not on me, and there's a legal trustee who handles the funds. I'm out of it.
He currently lives out of state but he's trying to put together a plan to move back here. Ugh, I hope he doesn't pull that off. He keeps trying to get me to take on responsibilities for him but I just say nope, not going to do that.
Because of him, I have moved to a gated community and spent thousands of dollars on a state of the art security system. He has a history of violence and he can easily switch from kind to hatefilled when it comes to me - he wants to cling to me as his only immediate family member on one hand but when I tell him no, on the other hand that really angers him. So yeah, he's always a weight in the back of my mind. But so far I have managed to distance myself from his issues. Hope it stays that way.
Thats crazy that you say that. I did not mention it but I have another brother (different father than me) thats mentally ill. Well , we think he is. Back in HS he thought ppl were breaking into our house and they were on the roof. He called the police and they sent him off for mental evaluation. He has also struggled with drugs, and being a big time alcoholic. Once he would get drunk, forget about it. There was no talking to him. My wife called him a POS one night and he was always in abusive relationships. (unsure why) I talk to to him on occasion, but not a lot.
He can work for a certain amount of time , and he is really good at what he does (and makes good money) , but the stress cracks him about 7-8 months in and then he relapses.
When I moved out of State he followed us here and for an entire year was living by here, but he eventually went back home. He visited here a few months back and kept trying to talk us in to moving back home. The thought of going back to Illinois and living there stresses me out thinking about it.
I had an uncle who was a compulsive gambler. He visited casinos, bet on horse racing, sports, etc.
He was happy when “up” and depressed when “down”. Eventually, my aunt separated from him and they had a bitter divorce. He lost about 35% of the family savings, I’m told.
Since there is no further connection with our family, nobody but his children (my cousins)
have any contact with him.
I never thought gambling could be a thing until it hit our family. When my dad passed my mom inherited a lot of money from his and his brothers estate. There was a paid off house and money left . All of it went to gambling. By the time I was 15 she was having me paying rent out of my own inheritance to keep a roof over our heads. This basically ate up all my money that I had from when my dad died when I was 2 years old. So by the time I was 18-19. I had a little left.
Did it run in your family? When I was younger I was a drinker myself. I wouldnt drink till I blacked out or anything but I drank a lot. It was the norm in my 20s. My dad was an alcoholic also but died shortly after I was born back in the 80s.
Not really? I do have a second cousin who ends up in jail every time he drinks. Other than that, there are a few uncles and cousins (on both sides) who can drink a lot. But only myself and the one 2nd cousin have alcoholic-type issues with drinking.
I had two uncles, both brothers of my mom, who were addicts.
Uncle #1 was a very heavy drinker for all of his adult life. He never married, and lived a pretty sad life. Deep down inside he had a good heart, but it rarely showed because he was always drunk. He died from pancreatic cancer at age 57.
Uncle #2 used all sorts of drugs throughout most of his life. He married and later divorced. He had two children, and was mostly an absentee father to them. He rarely held down a job for more than a few months at a time, and was occasionally homeless. At one point during my childhood my mom let him move into our house after he was "clean". This didn't last long; mom discovered a crack rock in his bedroom and my parents promptly kicked him out. She loved her brother, but she rightly put the safety of her children first. This uncle also spent time in jail for petty crimes here and there. My grandmother once went and bailed him out when she was in her late 80's, can you imagine!
Uncle #2 had a massive in his 40's due to his drug use. He recovered well enough to live on his own, but was on SS disability. He did continue working odd jobs under the table. He died of an overdose at age 54.
Uncle #2 also had a good heart, and he did love his family. That said, he never had the strength or true desire to get clean.
I don't know if it "runs in the family". My mom and her two other brothers never had issues with addiction. All drink/drank alcohol, but responsibly, and it was never a problem for them. It should be noted that they had an absentee father, it may have impacted those two uncles more than the others for some reason. Also, Uncle #2's son is just like his father.
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