There are things that I want to change about myself but I feel like I sabotage myself (person, personality)
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Hi all,
I'm not sure if this is the right sub for this, but I am looking for any and all advice.
For the most part, I think I'm fine. I mostly like myself and my personality. But, there are some things that bother me about myself that I want to change, but for some reason, I feel like I am my biggest 'burden'.
One of my main issues is not being able to slow down, not thinking ahead, and not rushing. This has caused me to make a lot of mistakes, big and small. I want to learn how to do all of these, and do them well.
I also can sometimes not act my age? Like if someone does or says something that I don't like or agree with, I make it very obvious that I don't agree with it (like make a face, say something under my breath, clench my jaw, or ball my hands into a fist). This obviously isn't ideal in my personal or professional life.
I'm going to start going to therapy again to help, but is there anything I can do on my own to help fix these issues that I have with myself?
Thank you!
Perhaps you could analyze when you tend to rush and become too impulsive? Try to notice when you do this, and the feelings you have. Then pay attention to those situations and actively slow yourself down, or at least think before you act. A counselor can help you with this, but there is nothing wrong with you trying to think hard about how you act in certain situations.
My problem was/is an overactive brain. Not so much since I retired but while I was working. I had supervisors who mentioned that were times I should slow down, but a lot of my ideas were good and saved time and increased productivity so they were more gentle reminders than reprimands.
It did take a few of these to make me pay attention and I did get better. Being aware there is a problem is the first step and trying to be conscious of what went wrong or what happened helps. Maybe write down what happened and write what could have been done differently.
Often when I would put something in writing it helped me to think through the solutions of how to fix the problem.
Hi all,
I'm not sure if this is the right sub for this, but I am looking for any and all advice.
For the most part, I think I'm fine. I mostly like myself and my personality. But, there are some things that bother me about myself that I want to change, but for some reason, I feel like I am my biggest 'burden'.
One of my main issues is not being able to slow down, not thinking ahead, and not rushing. This has caused me to make a lot of mistakes, big and small. I want to learn how to do all of these, and do them well.
I also can sometimes not act my age? Like if someone does or says something that I don't like or agree with, I make it very obvious that I don't agree with it (like make a face, say something under my breath, clench my jaw, or ball my hands into a fist). This obviously isn't ideal in my personal or professional life.
I'm going to start going to therapy again to help, but is there anything I can do on my own to help fix these issues that I have with myself?
Thank you!
When do you realize you should do things differently? Is it AFTER you 'mess up' or WHILE you're 'messing up'?
IF you're realizing WHILE messing up: maybe wear a rubber band around your wrist, and when you catch yourself, you snap the rubber band hard. Some cognitive therapy. lol
Hi all,
I'm not sure if this is the right sub for this, but I am looking for any and all advice. For the most part, I think I'm fine. I mostly like myself and my personality. But, there are some things that bother me about myself that I want to change, but for some reason, I feel like I am my biggest 'burden'.
One of my main issues is not being able to slow down, not thinking ahead, and not rushing. This has caused me to make a lot of mistakes, big and small. I want to learn how to do all of these, and do them well.
I also can sometimes not act my age? Like if someone does or says something that I don't like or agree with, I make it very obvious that I don't agree with it (like make a face, say something under my breath, clench my jaw, or ball my hands into a fist). This obviously isn't ideal in my personal or professional life.
I'm going to start going to therapy again to help, but is there anything I can do on my own to help fix these issues that I have with myself?
Thank you!
Very interesting.
It doesn't sound like the issue is "acting your age." It sounds like your issue is tactlessly being overtly negative. But you should are able to rein that in.
About thinking ahead, maybe lists would help you? I know that if I have a project, sometimes it helps to figure out what will need to e done, and maybe even in what order.
It's always very hard to change habits. One thing that could help is if you enlist a friend, explain your goals, and ask for their support.
Maybe both issues could be helped by the traditional "counting to ten"?
I think you would benefit by practicing mindfulness. You could start with doing some research - there are tons of articles, books, and even classes. And then actively practicing techniques throughout the day - even if you have to set a reminder on your phone.
You should find a hobby that requires sedateness. You should learn to control yourself. I consider you can practice weightlifting, such exercises as clean, clean and jerk, snatch. That will help you to change character. Athletes as a rule are very quiet and staid men!
Reading also will help you. You will become staider and wiser.
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How to change yourself
