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Exactly. You bring up an excellent point. Who wants to have that conversation with their new neighbor? I would, but wouldn’t like it.
If the kids play in the yard again, I think it's better to talk to the Mom than to talk at the kids through the loudspeaker 'for the fun factor'. Parents these days are a lot more touchy about other adults having any interaction with their kids. It doesn't have to be an ordeal. 'Hey can you do me a favor' type of chat.
Oh good grief people, lighten up. Kathryn moves into a new neighborhood and, as I think all of us would do, has some curiosity as to what the neighbors would be like. I would think not wanting a best buddy relationship but wanting "good neighbors" type people to be living next door.
Right away there are a series of happenings that don't give the best first impression. Of course there is reason for concern, she comes here to vent and some people have to pile on.
If the kids play in the yard again, I think it's better to talk to the Mom than to talk at the kids through the loudspeaker 'for the fun factor'. Parents these days are a lot more touchy about other adults having any interaction with their kids. It doesn't have to be an ordeal. 'Hey can you do me a favor' type of chat.
Oh, totally agree! I must’ve missed that comment. And you’re right.. parents are quite touchy about the snowflakes they created.
And here comes the race card.... this is why we can’t have nice things.
I guess the OP and I are the only ones who think a strange dog peeing in your house is a problem. I’d be pissed (no pun intended) if a strange dog came into my home and pissed on my rug. My own dog doesn’t **** on my rug. If he got out and did that to my neighbor,I’d die of embarrassment. The dog needs to be trained to stay in its own yard... that’s the invisible boundary that was mentioned how many pages ago.
The kids would bother me too.. from a liability standpoint and noise factor. Yes, they are outside and can use their outside voices, but not in the neighbor’s yard.
And as to why ‘older’ people buy single family homes in family neighborhoods...it’s none of your business why. Dh and I are young retirees and live in a very large home... why? Because we have a large family, and would rather they stay with us, than a hotel or resort.
It’s also very easy to hire outside help and inside help for those chores that an ‘older’ person can no longer do. Or in my case, no longer want to do. I’d rather sit on the beach with a book than clean my house.
Thank you and no, we're not the only ones who think these things are issues.
The dog thing was a one-off. The trash can thing was a one-off. The kids playing was resolved, which seems to be disappointing the OP terribly -- but she's watching and waiting, she's got those cameras up and running!
I don't care who buys what house in what neighborhood, or what their ages are. Never said I did. I do think moving into a fairly active family neighborhood and being shocked, shocked there are kids is the only truly "weird" thing in this thread.
I have little tolerance for people who insist EVERYONE ELSE is the probem but never think their oh-so-perfect-selves may just have some issues. Just sayin'. Plus I really, really hate speculation and gossip, usually disguised as faux concern or "being observant". If you don't know, ask. Don't assume. Don't speculate.
Sigh.
I'm not shocked that there are kids - even loud kids - in my neighborhood. There you go putting words I never said nor implied in my mouth.
I didn't put the cameras up to catch kids playing in my yard - but I also don't want notifications blowing up my phone no matter where I am or what I'm doing simply because kids are playing in my yard. If you must know - or whether you want to know or not for that matter - I have security cameras because 1) my husband works out of state for weeks at a time and I'm home alone, and 2) I have a brother who is schizophrenic and who has a long history of violence, including toward me, and 3) I have a lot of packages delivered and I like the convenience of a Nest doorbell. Oh, and when I went with a friend of mine to her first chemo treatment, I was able to be with her and also manage an appointment with my sprinkler system guys via the cameras - so that's cool. And I'm not "watching and waiting" for any kids to show up on my cameras - besides the fact that that would be a boring way to spend my time, no worries - I'll get notifications on my phone.
Which by the way, I've been getting all afternoon but they're actually playing in their yard, but just occasionally running to get a ball that ends up in my yard. I'm absolutely fine with that. In spite of the notifications, that's what being a tolerant neighbor is all about - putting up with inconveniences in the name of peace. Boys should be able to play ball in their yard and run into my yard to get the ball if necessary. Boys should NOT be camping out in my driveway or playing football in my yard.
Oh and by the way, the dog got loose again today- but it ran down the street instead of into my house, so that's not my problem. I'll let someone else deal with that. The last time I saw the dog, it was running down the street with a group of people running after it yelling for it.
Stop putting words into my mouth. I never said or implied that I was shocked that kids are in the neighborhood. I never said or implied that I was disappointed that kids haven't been "caught on camera" or whatever the past few days - in fact, I said the opposite - that I am GLAD that the issue may be resolving itself.
I also never said or implied that I'm perfect. Far from it. But I'm a good neighbor, and I do not want trouble with my neighbors.
Exactly. You bring up an excellent point. Who wants to have that conversation with their new neighbor? I would, but wouldn’t like it.
Thank you - especially a neighbor who just had two surgeries pretty much back to back.
About their kids. About their dog, which is already an embarrassment and hassle to them, from what the wife has told me.
About my husband's "hunch," he had a long conversation with the guy. He didn't base this "hunch" on something ambiguous - it was the guy's demeanor and way of talking that caused my husband to say to me "You know what - I think he's got anger issues." I was actually surprised by this because it's so rare that my husband has a negative comment to say about people - he is very easy going and conversational and relaxed.
Oh, I'll address the other issue that was brought up - am I upset because of the notifications on my phone, or the loudness of the kids, or the liability if one gets injured on my property? It's being presented as me being inconsistent and changing my story when the reality is that ALL THREE THINGS ARE ISSUES WHEN KIDS PLAY IN MY YARD FOR HOURS. That's why I've brought up all three factors. In terms of importance it would be 1) liability and injury in general - I do not want anyone to be injured on my property for a whole lot of different reasons - who would? 2) Notifications burning my phone up. 3) Why are they screaming for hours right outside my windows in my driveway and front yard? Enough is enough.
If the kids play in the yard again, I think it's better to talk to the Mom than to talk at the kids through the loudspeaker 'for the fun factor'. Parents these days are a lot more touchy about other adults having any interaction with their kids. It doesn't have to be an ordeal. 'Hey can you do me a favor' type of chat.
I actually agree with this - I was just imagining the surprise of a teenager when a voice came out of the sky - "Please play elsewhere!" I would actually go out there in person and then go talk to the mom if necessary. I just really hate to bother her because I feel like she's recuperating. She had a hysterectomy and then a laparascopy and biopsy so yeah - I'm trying not to stress her out.
All that being said, today they were out in force and clearly playing in their yard - which is fine by me - even running into my yard on occasion is fine by me too for that matter.
Doesn't sound like a good beginning and I don't know if you can get along with these neighbors, and the only way to keep the peace seems like you have to let them have their way and that is not possible and also stressful to you and your husband. The fact that the kids are playing in your yard is a big deal and yes maybe they played there before with the other neighbors turning a blind eye but the skateboards themselves cause damage to your yard and the noise, kids will be kids. Did you know there were so many kids in the gated community when you were looking at the place? The little dog, too running around. If they were good neighbors they would have told the kids to stay in their own yard or go to the park and also keep the little dog in their yard with safeguards that keep hm there. Just the fact that all this is happening is a sign of disrespect and crossing boundaries. You shouldn't even have to address these things or confront them because they never should have taken place in the first place. I think I would be looking for a new place and the only way to get through till then is just knowing this isn't forever.
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