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I would not offer her a reference. That is like condoning her poor behavior. Plus you would not want someone else who reads your reference to go through the same thing you have.
It sounds to me that you are afraid of the bad things she might/will say about you and that is the heart of your dilemma. You have given away your power to her. Take it back. Tell her she is fired. You don't have to give her a reason. Cut her off completely. This Anne has been manipulative and deceitful toward you.
Inform the person in charge of your homecare of what you are about to do so they are aware of the problem before Anne calls them to complain about it. After all you will have to get a replacement and homecare co needs to know it.
Good luck and I hope your operation is successful.
So does this mean someone else pays her salary? Do they get to decide who you hire or fire?
Since the OP said she "qualifies" for a home health aide, it most likely means the taxpayers are funding this low-class crook to "work" as a caretaker.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
Who would you care about what others think? Do you have a local reputation for being less believable than a lying, cheating, violent alcoholic? That's pretty bad.
Yep. This is the WHOLE point, OP.
There is NO need to put your own safety and peace of mind over some unrealistic worry about what "others" think. They know who she is and probably wouldn't believe a negative word that came out of her mouth anyway.
Do it ASAP, and get to the point. No need to go into an emotional conversation. Just say something like, "My needs have changed, and this situation isn't working for me anymore, so today will be your last day. Thanks for your help, and I wish you the best."
OP, when you have this "talk" with her, I would have a friend and/or relative present to make sure she turns in her keys and leaves the premises without taking anything.
“I am not happy with how you continually pad your work hours. As you know, we have discussed this on more than one occasion. Since it is apparent that you are not willing to be 100% honest in your dealings with me, your employment with me is being terminated immediately. I wish you well in your future endeavors, and thank you for your service”.
There is absolutely no reason why you would continue to put up with what has been happening. Remember, people only take advantage of those who let them. Don’t be that person but stand up for yourself!
I am disabled, so I qualify for a home healthcare worker who comes over twice a week. "Anne" has been with me for about two years and from the beginning I have had difficulties with her, and now she is going from bad to worse. She lies to me about mostly small things but sometimes important stuff, and I am left wondering what else she is telling me that is untrue and I just haven't caught on to her yet.
She has padded her time sheets with extra hours, causing me to go over budget because I hadn't been sitting down and going over her time sheets for each pay period - I trusted her to be honest - big mistake! I gave her the benefit of the doubt and sat down with her and explained to her how to fill out her time sheets, but the next time around, she padded her hours AGAIN. I now go over her paperwork with a fine tooth comb, especially since I don't want to get into trouble with Medicaid for authorizing false reports.
Anne's language is awful and every other word is the "F" word or some other obscenity. I'm not some old prude and I've been known to cuss myself, but I don't make a habit of it. Anne is also a heavy drinker, and from time to time she'll call me up and tell me she can't come over due to some alcohol related incident - like the time she and her husband and adult son all got drunk together and ended up having a huge fight with Anne getting a broken rib when her husband slugged her.
The straw that broke the camel's back was when Anne's youngest daughter started school again last month. Anne has to go meet her kid at the bus stop and she is extremely over protective about this. The bus drops the daughter off at 4 o'clock, but Anne has to be there at 3 o'clock just in case and this means that she cuts out an hour and a half from helping me almost every afternoon that she comes over.
Enough is enough already. The problem is that we live in a very small town and Anne knows just about everyone who lives here. I really don't want her to go around town and running me down which I know she will do, especially when she's been drinking.
I've been thinking of saying something along the lines of " You are such a good Mom, but I can see that you are way over extended and can no longer work your usual hours for me. I am due for an operation next month and I need to have someone who doesn't have conflicting commitments. So, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to let you go. If you need a reference, I'll be glad to give you one (hopefully she won't).
I've never fired anyone before - I'm such a people pleasing push over. But enough is enough is enough. Does anyone have any suggestions as to the best way to get rid of Anne?
With all the negative things she has done, my question to you is, why have you waited this long ? Simply say " I've decided, after a lot of thought, to go a new direction with my healthcare. Your last day here will be _________ and I thank you for your help and will give you a good reference." Goodbye !
I would let her go immediately or else she will have time to steal stuff or otherwise cause a problem.
Post #s 6 and 7. I had these same thoughts. No one will credit what she says.
Since she might be confrontational, I favor firing her over the phone. I would never offer to give her a reference. What positive thing could you possibly say? Simply tell her you no longer require her services.
If you have to notify Medicare, do so immediately after termination conversation.
“I am not happy with how you continually pad your work hours. As you know, we have discussed this on more than one occasion. Since it is apparent that you are not willing to be 100% honest in your dealings with me, your employment with me is being terminated immediately. I wish you well in your future endeavors, and thank you for your service”.
If the OP makes accusations or includes any kind of inflammatory details about the undesirable behavior, she will just be giving Anne ammo to fire back at her in protest.
Keep it general and professional, and keep it brief, preferably over the phone.
Oh, wow! Thanks for all your replies everyone. Just sitting down and writing out all of the things Anne does really helped to open my eyes. Your comments opened them even more. I have been sort of like that frog sitting in a pot of cool water that gradually gets heated to boiling and still doesn't jump out. I have a brain injury which often makes me slow on the uptake and my short term memory is about the equivalent of a mayfly's. I have to write stuff down in order to be able to figure it all out. Your comments let me see how bad the situation with Anne really is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwatted Wabbit
Sounds like she's what's known as a piece of work.
You should have terminated her her first month. Lying on pay sheets, that's called stealing. And don't take the hit for her if Medicaid ever audits.
F bombs since she started?
Drinks heavily?
Gossips?
Leaving early?
"Ann, I'm going to look for new help. Your services are no longer needed. That's all I'm going to say."
I would record this, I would do it over the phone, and I'd let Medicare or whoever her employer is know first, unless she's self-employed.
This is abuse. If you think she poses a physical risk to you, she probably does. And whoever replaces her needs to be aware, there is an unhinged person out there who may want revenge.
You are right about this situation being abusive. Thank you for pointing this out to me. Also, I think firing her over the phone is a great idea. I don't need her storming around my house if she loses it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraG
So does this mean someone else pays her salary? Do they get to decide who you hire or fire?
Will you be okay if you go a couple weeks with no help or do you need to find a replacement first?
I am in a program that allows me to hire or fire my own caregivers. Ultimately, since it's a Medicaid program both the state of Colorado plus the Feds pay for it. I have already been talking with another woman about coming over to help me out. I want to also talk to a couple of more people so I have a better chance of finding a good fit. If all else fails, I do have a friend who would be able to come help me out on a temporary basis if required.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
Since the OP said she "qualifies" for a home health aide, it most likely means the taxpayers are funding this low-class crook to "work" as a caretaker.
Yep. This is the WHOLE point, OP.
There is NO need to put your own safety and peace of mind over some unrealistic worry about what "others" think. They know who she is and probably wouldn't believe a negative word that came out of her mouth anyway.
Do it ASAP, and get to the point. No need to go into an emotional conversation. Just say something like, "My needs have changed, and this situation isn't working for me anymore, so today will be your last day. Thanks for your help, and I wish you the best."
You and everyone else who advised me to not be so concerned about what others may think are spot on. This woman and I do NOT run in the same social circles. There's no way I could consume all that alcohol plus she's a biker chick type who lives for her Harley. I am a retired teacher/librarian. I am not exactly going to be heart broken if the local Sons of Silence group (Colorado's answer to the Hell's Angels) decides to snub me.
Again, I really appreciate everyone's support and advise!
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