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I am disabled, so I qualify for a home healthcare worker who comes over twice a week. "Anne" has been with me for about two years and from the beginning I have had difficulties with her, and now she is going from bad to worse. She lies to me about mostly small things but sometimes important stuff, and I am left wondering what else she is telling me that is untrue and I just haven't caught on to her yet.
She has padded her time sheets with extra hours, causing me to go over budget because I hadn't been sitting down and going over her time sheets for each pay period - I trusted her to be honest - big mistake! I gave her the benefit of the doubt and sat down with her and explained to her how to fill out her time sheets, but the next time around, she padded her hours AGAIN. I now go over her paperwork with a fine tooth comb, especially since I don't want to get into trouble with Medicaid for authorizing false reports.
Anne's language is awful and every other word is the "F" word or some other obscenity. I'm not some old prude and I've been known to cuss myself, but I don't make a habit of it. Anne is also a heavy drinker, and from time to time she'll call me up and tell me she can't come over due to some alcohol related incident - like the time she and her husband and adult son all got drunk together and ended up having a huge fight with Anne getting a broken rib when her husband slugged her.
The straw that broke the camel's back was when Anne's youngest daughter started school again last month. Anne has to go meet her kid at the bus stop and she is extremely over protective about this. The bus drops the daughter off at 4 o'clock, but Anne has to be there at 3 o'clock just in case and this means that she cuts out an hour and a half from helping me almost every afternoon that she comes over.
Enough is enough already. The problem is that we live in a very small town and Anne knows just about everyone who lives here. I really don't want her to go around town and running me down which I know she will do, especially when she's been drinking.
I've been thinking of saying something along the lines of " You are such a good Mom, but I can see that you are way over extended and can no longer work your usual hours for me. I am due for an operation next month and I need to have someone who doesn't have conflicting commitments. So, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to let you go. If you need a reference, I'll be glad to give you one (hopefully she won't).
I've never fired anyone before - I'm such a people pleasing push over. But enough is enough is enough. Does anyone have any suggestions as to the best way to get rid of Anne?
I think your explanation is too wordy and personal. I would say "I'm sorry, but our (work) situation is not working for me. I'll be glad to provide a letter of reference in the future." You're not going to be able to control any feelings of resentment she has and how she acts on them anyway, so you might as well make it short and businesslike and just let the chips fall where they may. People will think what they want to, and if she says stuff about you, that's on her. You can only control your actions. Anyhow, if the town is that small, I'm sure everyone already knows about her drinking and her family's domestic issues and will evaluate her statements accordingly. Peoples' histories have a way of catching up with them.
Sounds like she's what's known as a piece of work.
You should have terminated her her first month. Lying on pay sheets, that's called stealing. And don't take the hit for her if Medicaid ever audits.
F bombs since she started?
Drinks heavily?
Gossips?
Leaving early?
"Ann, I'm going to look for new help. Your services are no longer needed. That's all I'm going to say."
I would record this, I would do it over the phone, and I'd let Medicare or whoever her employer is know first, unless she's self-employed.
This is abuse. If you think she poses a physical risk to you, she probably does. And whoever replaces her needs to be aware, there is an unhinged person out there who may want revenge.
I am disabled, so I qualify for a home healthcare worker who comes over twice a week. "Anne" has been with me for about two years and from the beginning I have had difficulties with her, and now she is going from bad to worse. She lies to me about mostly small things but sometimes important stuff, and I am left wondering what else she is telling me that is untrue and I just haven't caught on to her yet.
She has padded her time sheets with extra hours, causing me to go over budget because I hadn't been sitting down and going over her time sheets for each pay period - I trusted her to be honest - big mistake! I gave her the benefit of the doubt and sat down with her and explained to her how to fill out her time sheets, but the next time around, she padded her hours AGAIN. I now go over her paperwork with a fine tooth comb, especially since I don't want to get into trouble with Medicaid for authorizing false reports.
Anne's language is awful and every other word is the "F" word or some other obscenity. I'm not some old prude and I've been known to cuss myself, but I don't make a habit of it. Anne is also a heavy drinker, and from time to time she'll call me up and tell me she can't come over due to some alcohol related incident - like the time she and her husband and adult son all got drunk together and ended up having a huge fight with Anne getting a broken rib when her husband slugged her.
The straw that broke the camel's back was when Anne's youngest daughter started school again last month. Anne has to go meet her kid at the bus stop and she is extremely over protective about this. The bus drops the daughter off at 4 o'clock, but Anne has to be there at 3 o'clock just in case and this means that she cuts out an hour and a half from helping me almost every afternoon that she comes over.
Enough is enough already. The problem is that we live in a very small town and Anne knows just about everyone who lives here. I really don't want her to go around town and running me down which I know she will do, especially when she's been drinking.
I've been thinking of saying something along the lines of " You are such a good Mom, but I can see that you are way over extended and can no longer work your usual hours for me. I am due for an operation next month and I need to have someone who doesn't have conflicting commitments. So, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to let you go. If you need a reference, I'll be glad to give you one (hopefully she won't).
I've never fired anyone before - I'm such a people pleasing push over. But enough is enough is enough. Does anyone have any suggestions as to the best way to get rid of Anne?
Lying about her hours to get more money, not being honest, and calls out due to being a borderline alcoholic? Why on God's green earth would you even care to remain civil with this person? She is toxic! I think what you typed in your post in terms of how you want to break the news is perfect, and it gets the message across. I would also do it over the phone. Some people do not take termination and rejection well, and she might flip out.
I like your response. I mean, the other posters are right in that it should probably stay professional. But if you're in "that" kind of community, and she's *that* kind of person, if you are too professional she may read that as cold and respond more negatively. Be prepared for her to challenge you, ask for a second chance, etc., and have responses ready so that you don't get flustered and give in.
Have you confronted her about the timesheets? If not, you could gently mention it, as letting her go is kinder than reporting her.
This is a lousy situation to be in. Good luck, OP.
Who would you care about what others think? Do you have a local reputation for being less believable than a lying, cheating, violent alcoholic? That's pretty bad.
^I agree with Zentropa. The local community knows what she's like. You're probably not even the first, second or third person she's ripped off.
I made the mistake of hiring someone I knew from my former company. I'd quit to start my own business. She'd been laid off.
She had many of the same behaviors as your charming "Anne" (she was padding her timesheets) and a few more. She wouldn't do what I'd tell her to do unless she felt like it. She'd decide she wanted to untangle a chain, a task which would take her 20 minutes or so. I got fed up with this and told her I was paying her $12/hour (in 2001) and that chain was only worth a dollar. Why would I pay her $4 to untangle it?
And it turned out she was collecting unemployment while she was "working" for me.
How did I fire her? I said, "I can't afford you any more. Sorry." Yes, she got mad.
I think Anne is not telling the truth here:
Quote:
Anne has to go meet her kid at the bus stop and she is extremely over protective about this. The bus drops the daughter off at 4 o'clock, but Anne has to be there at 3 o'clock just in case and this means that she cuts out an hour and a half from helping me almost every afternoon that she comes over.
I suggest you simply tell her that you’ve had a long think about your needs because, with your disabilities and the restrictive Medicaid available, you have to use services to your best advantage. And, so, you really are best served by having support during the hours of x to x, and that schedule won’t work for her. So you are needing to find another person who can work with your needs. And then give her a hug and a kiss and say goodbye.
Meh, FWIW, my bus driver is ABSOLUTELY strict about having an approved adult meet my youngest at the bus stop. It's a district-wide rule, had to sign an acknowledgement, etc. And she has chewed my ear off MULTIPLE times, because someone crossed the street the wrong way, I was walking to the stop and not RIGHT THERE when she came, I was waiting in the car due to rain, etc. She even stopped the bus and came to KNOCK ON MY DOOR once to make sure I lectured my kids (again) on crossing safety.
And the bus arrival times are unpredictable and can vary wildly for a ton of random reasons.
I do NOT want to tangle with bus driver Ms Lydia and do go to some lengths to avoid it. That said, an hour and a half early is a bit much, even for me.
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