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a: married
b: non-existent, made up
c: something to be embarrassed about
or
d: she's gay and he's just a friend she's using as a "beard"
Mostly she just wishes you'd all quit bugging her about it. She's over 21, right? She has normal intelligence, not mentally challenged or otherwise unable to make decisions for herself, right? Then MYOB.
I think the above post lists all possibilities. I'm inclined to think he might just be an acquaintance, not really a boyfriend and she has her private reasons for saying she has a boyfriend. Maybe part of her reasons are because relatives can't mind their own business and are stalking both the cousin and her acquaintances and invading her privacy. I think people should stop bugging her about introducing him to them and discontinue the stalking. The stalking of her and her friends says more bad things about the stalker than it does about the persons being stalked.
.
I think he is an imaginary boyfriend. That photo could have been of anybody. I mean; he actually managed to attend the only event in 5 years that none of YOU were at?
Really. I don’t need everyone to tell me go mind my own business. It’s very cliche. I’m just wondering if the guy is playing her. He does exist though since she posted 2 pics of them together at someone’s wedding few years ago.
I didn’t do a reverse image search but now the 2 pics of him online (one on his LinkedIn and one when he was an Uber driver) are no longer there.
I have pictures of myself with the same girl from More than one wedding. We weren’t dating, we weren’t each other’s dates, we were just in a circle of friends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3
Gotta love the MYOB chants.
Silly is as silly does.
I say she is delusional . Met a gal like this in high school. She constantly fabricated stories just enough to be somewhat believable. Til one day she assured us her sister that she constantly bragged was a model...showed us a picture of her sister . It was from a magazine. We each said...that is Brookes Shields and you are not her sister. She seriously insisted that it was her sister . Too bad we didn't mind our own business ..she'd still be fabricating tales. Ohh but wait! MYOB only applies if it's your kin.
I do not understand the MYOB crowd. She’s family. She’s close and has close access to parents and grandparents and siblings and kids. As such, she is a member of the circle of trust. Similarly, as a cousin she is a loved one, she shares our blood, is a direct descendant of my father’s father (or mother’s mother, etc,) the daughter of his brother. She has access to our parents and grandparents.
When something that doesn’t smell right comes up within the circle of trust, others are entitled to ask questions.
When something is concerning about a loved one, we are entitled to ask questions. If she’s in an extremely unhealthy relationship, we want to help her, for her own good and for the good of the family.
She has apparently brought the boyfriend up and talks about him. She could easily kill him off if he were a fictitious beard.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow
He's either:
a: married
b: non-existent, made up
c: something to be embarrassed about
or
d: she's gay and he's just a friend she's using as a "beard"
Mostly she just wishes you'd all quit bugging her about it. She's over 21, right? She has normal intelligence, not mentally challenged or otherwise unable to make decisions for herself, right? Then MYOB.
Or she’s being led along by someone that’s a gaslighter/manipulator.
He does exist because she posted one pic of them together but that was a few years ago. And she said her brother has met him. She is 50 and he is a few years younger. He is Muslim with a common name. She says he is a personal trainer. We googled him and there are what seems like hundreds with his name or similar that are trainers. She will never bring him around. Only says she is with him and will meet us after. Or we ask her to bring him and she will say “I was with him yesterday”. Or will just not respond. He didn’t attend her fathers funeral because she said he had a lung infection. He was supposed to come with her to one of our friends wedding and wasn’t at the ceremony. She said he was at his kids soccer game and would be at the reception. Then she said he wasn’t able to come because there mom was late picking his kids up. For years she said they would be getting engaged but he is working on fixing his condo and selling it. That was like 3 years ago. And she still says the same thing. 5 years and she has never told her mother about him. Only met his kids a few times but he refers to her as a friend. She only had like 2 pics on her phone. One was from Linkedin (his pic is no longer there, just his profile) where it says he is searching for work in Chicago and the Middle East. How can you be searching for work in both places? It’s detailed about schooling in Egypt and work as a trainer in Chicago. Also a professional volleyball and soccer player. Maybe he is married or not who he says he is?
Or maybe she's a compulsive liar and he's not her BF. Do you know anybody else with a BF for 5 years and they only have 2 pictures of him on their phone? And one of them is from a website where anyone could copy the pic? Maybe they broke up long ago and she doesn't want to tell you all that she doesn't see him anymore.
We had a "friend" who told us about her BF, and all the things they did together. She would even put fictitious dates with him on her wall calendar where we might see them. The thing was WE ACTUALLY KNEW THE MAN, and we often knew his whereabouts on their alleged date nights, and he wasn't dating her. We let her spin her tales though, knowing all the while that they were lies.
Similarly, as a cousin she is a loved one, she shares our blood, is a direct descendant of my father’s father (or mother’s mother, etc,) the daughter of his brother. She has access to our parents and grandparents.
You are overstating the cousin relationship in a lot of cases. I am estranged from one set of cousins and the cousins that I am not estranged from, I rarely see them in person. I will routinely go 2-5 years without seeing them in person. A significant natural disaster happened in my area earlier in this year & neither cousin called or texted me. Neither is friends with me on Facebook or Instagram.
Or maybe she's a compulsive liar and he's not her BF. Do you know anybody else with a BF for 5 years and they only have 2 pictures of him on their phone? And one of them is from a website where anyone could copy the pic? Maybe they broke up long ago and she doesn't want to tell you all that she doesn't see him anymore.
We had a "friend" who told us about her BF, and all the things they did together. She would even put fictitious dates with him on her wall calendar where we might see them. The thing was WE ACTUALLY KNEW THE MAN, and we often knew his whereabouts on their alleged date nights, and he wasn't dating her. We let her spin her tales though, knowing all the while that they were lies.
Hey, my brother had a WIFE for 18 years and none of us ever saw even one picture of her. (And yes, we checked the marriage records for his town to verify that he was, indeed, married). We (the family) were planning to go to their out of state wedding, but then we were disinvited by the bride-to-be. My dear late Mom practically begged my brother for years to send a picture of his wife, but he never did. For all we know, she could have looked like either Marilyn Monroe or Quasimodo, not that we would have cared either way.
Hey, my brother had a WIFE for 18 years and none of us ever saw even one picture of her. (And yes, we checked the marriage records for his town to verify that he was, indeed, married). We (the family) were planning to go to their out of state wedding, but then we were disinvited by the bride-to-be. My dear late Mom practically begged my brother for years to send a picture of his wife, but he never did. For all we know, she could have looked like either Marilyn Monroe or Quasimodo, not that we would have cared either way.
Yep, these things happen. One of my friends found out her father was married a couple of years ago to someone only a few years older than her. My friend was in shock, as they lived in the same town and my friend is on all of his accounts (because he has limited English literacy). I think something came to both of them and she noticed it when going through the bills one day.
FWIW, the last time I saw any cousin was almost 10 years ago, in early 2010. Many people just aren’t that close to their cousins to find it necessary to invite significant others to any event. I think I met my cousin’s SOs when they got married. There was nothing nefarious about it.
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