Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What does boys night involve? Maybe he isn't as interested in whatever it is you want to do as he used to be. People change. Some also use their spouse or SO as an excuse to get out of things. I tend to be pretty honest with people but even so I have used the spouse excuse when I have felt the truth to be too much for a friend's feelings.
Or maybe the wife is controlling. I think that is what you want to hear..... doesn't make it true. At the end of the day it is your friend's decision - old friend or wife and child. When the child is old enough for little league you will probably find your friend has even less time for you. Priorities change with different life events.
Or he is using it as an excuse because he has moved on past the OP's friendship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144
Then it's time for this friend to put on his big-boy boxers and say so rather than throwing his wife under the bus, isn't it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33
No. Decent people try not to hurt other people's feelings.
And it wouldn't be throwing his wife under the bus. If this was in fact an excuse then I'm sure the guy's wife was well aware what was going on...and she probably even suggested handling it this way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144
How is it indecent to tell someone "Hey man, I just don't feel like hanging out"? Most people consider honesty to be what decent people do...
That's not exactly the same as what you recommended earlier.
"Hey man, I just don't feel like hanging out" is vague and open for interpretation. It could mean he's not in the mood today. It's not necessarily personal.
"Hey man, I just don't feel like hanging out with you" is "putting on his big-boy boxers". And it's crystal clear.
I think the guy was being honest when he said "Not at all man. The wife just wants to wait until everyone is healthy so we can all hangout."
After the guy's wife found out that your sister (and roommate) was sick, she didn't want her husband going to hang out at a house full of germs...and then bringing the sickness back to their house.
And, DK, it doesn't sound like you're close enough with this guy to be making negative comments to him about his wife. That was a really bad idea.
Exactly.
OP, seriously you need to grow up. And having the sick person stay in their room does no good at all. They're using the bathroom and the kitchen, so there germs are everywhere.
The smart thing to do is stay away from someone's house when there is a sick person living there.
Maybe try to find someone else to do your boys night thing with and realize that this couple is for couples times only (if he still wants to be friends with you after you insulted his wife).
Right or wrong, OP. You need to resign yourself to the above.
Sounding awful clingy and needy, maybe creepy. Not surprised if the responses come much slower and more infrequently than in the past. Go out and have a beer and watch a game somewhere. Get a life.
This then again I think the OP has had this issue before.
Sorry for the late response on this. Busy weekend with the family and was looking at condos and townhouses since I recently moved out of my ex's house. I ended up hanging out with my friend the next day. He called me to apologize and said he wasn't upset with the comment I made about his wife, because he said I was actually right on the money with her attitude. I still apologized for it anyways, but he told me no need to. He said the reason he didn't come over is because while she wanted to hangout with her girlfriends, she also wanted to see him and figured it would be better for him to go hangout with her and cancel the plans we had.
He said he left within the first hour because it was boring. But the main reason was because one of her friends called her out on bringing her husband to her "organized girl's night," and made a statement on how her own husband wasn't even home. I guess he went out so she could have the house to host her little party. He also told me that she has gotten very clingy with him, and that his co-workers no longer invite him out for happy anymore because she kept telling him she didn't want him going. Another friend stopped replying to his texts to hangout. So there's something going on, that's for sure. I will admit I feel stupid about the whole thing, including this post. I guess my guard is up ever since I broke up with my girlfriend. I am also afraid of losing friends because I'm single now. I see and hear it all the time how friends fall out because one remains single, and the other gets into a relationship. Almost as if you need a membership card to hangout with those people because they have something you don't.
Yes, I overreacted, but Jesus, some of the responses on here are just plain cruel. You mean to tell me if a friend that was so close you that he or she is considered family, that you wouldn't wonder if there was something going on if they started acting differently out of nowhere? I've just been really stressed out between the move, work, and a few other things going on.
What does boys night involve? Maybe he isn't as interested in whatever it is you want to do as he used to be. People change. Some also use their spouse or SO as an excuse to get out of things. I tend to be pretty honest with people but even so I have used the spouse excuse when I have felt the truth to be too much for a friend's feelings.
Or maybe the wife is controlling. I think that is what you want to hear..... doesn't make it true. At the end of the day it is your friend's decision - old friend or wife and child. When the child is old enough for little league you will probably find your friend has even less time for you. Priorities change with different life events.
Anything really. Sometimes it's to a bar we both enjoy going to, sometimes it's to the movie theater, seeing another friend of ours who has a band; usually performs on Fridays at a local spot we go to. Other times it's hanging out with some take out and watching a movie. At first we were going to go to this little hole in the wall of a restaurant we both enjoy. They make awesome stone-fire pizzas and have all different kinds of local beers on tap. But someone called out at his job so he had to stay until 7:30 PM. So I told him I would order us a pizza and we could watch a movie, and he said that sounded like a great idea.
I have no issue hanging out with the both them, especially when I was in a relationship, but sometimes it's nice to just hangout without a SO there. I mean, people do it all the time, so I know I'm not crazy for wanting to switch up it here and there.
And, DK, it doesn't sound like you're close enough with this guy to be making negative comments to him about his wife. That was a really bad idea.
I literally mentioned how he's like a brother to me in the beginning of my post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kokonutty
Sounding awful clingy and needy, maybe creepy. Not surprised if the responses come much slower and more infrequently than in the past. Go out and have a beer and watch a game somewhere. Get a life.
I am not clingy at all, nor am I creep. I am very social, and I also enjoy my alone time as well. He is a very close friend and we haven't been able to see each other in awhile. We had made plans; plans initially made by him. Then at the last minute he cancelled on me, and I felt the reason was just odd.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
