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So just to preface, I LOVE my future SIL (let's call her Alice). We are both marrying into the family. Alice and 'Zach' just got engaged a little over a month ago, while my SO and I just got engaged Christmas Eve
Alice is super nice and sweet and we have always had a good relationship. So since Alice got engaged, she has been asking me my ideas for when my SO and I want to get married (May 14, 2022), while she told me that they want October 2021.
If COVID is still a factor, Alice let me know that she is now worried that we might have conflicting dates and the latest date her and Zach will get married in June 2022, and that will pose an issue with my decision of having a May 2022 wedding.
Alice said (understandably) that since she's older, her biological clock is ticking with kids and they need to think of that. Of course, I totally get that.
But it seems like every time Zach and Alice talk with my SO and I, they bring up wedding dates/time and even my lax SO has noticed and is like 'um it's not going to be an issue, why do they keep pushing this topic'.
Like I got a text from her last night, asking if we can talk wedding planning. So I said sure, cause nobody else in my life is wedding planning and it would be nice to talk about it. After I fell asleep in the middle of the conversation, I woke up to a text from her saying, 'Honestly I think we are looking at potentially June 4th 2022 for our wedding....'
Clearly insinuating that our dates are gonna be a problem and I need to change my plans until after she get married.
So, what do/can I do? I hope I don't sound like I am being a bridezilla right now, but I don't want to just put a pause on planning. I, in my personal opinion, don't think they get an 8-month period where they get to block it off and I can't getting married during that time frame
Sorry, I should have specified that one of their brothers lives and dances in Europe, so he is building his contracts around when we get married. We don't want him to lose out on money by basically not signing any contracts for almost 2 months (especially since his industry has been hit hard by covid); As well as him not having to decide whether to stay in the States for the entire month or go back-and-forth between the States and Europe for both weddings
She’s changing her date and asking you to accommodate her. It doesn’t matter she is older. This is her problem. She can change her date closer to yours to accommodate the brother. She could get married earlier in a small wedding. She good push her date later if she is concerned about it.
The fact she is pushing this on you is extraordinary selfish.
Tell her your wedding date is set, period. Then brainstorm with her what would be best for her date. Getting married earlier? Closer to you? Pushing hers? Whatever it is. Your isn’t changing
It seems like a May and June wedding would be perfect, if everyone is trying to accommodate the brother in Europe. He comes, and he stays until both weddings are over. Kind of seems perfect, to me.
Sometimes you just have to adjust to the circumstances. If the sister-in-law is worried about her biological clock she can get married in the mom's backyard and adhere to the restrictions at that time and that includes the reality that the brother in Europe might not be able to attend. It's all about priorities. If starting a family is her priority everything else is secondary.
If SIL is so worried about her biological clock, tell her to get pregnant now and get married when it’s convenient. It’s done all the time.
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