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She could do that, yes, but mentioning being confused and disappointed would still come across as whining.
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I agree, so I would suggest saying, "Since you usually (maybe even always) cancel plans we make together, let's just pass on it." And just move on. Like, "Hey, how were your holidays?" or something like that.
I'd totally not do the whole gifting thing. Maybe send a gift card that whoever can use wherever whenever and be done with it. I mean, like a TOTALLY neutral card, not from a travel company, not from a hotel chain, not from a cruise line or destination or anything like that. No restaurants, hotels, airlines, nothing like that. Just a totally neutral gift card. You can get those via Visa or whatever or from your bank or online or any number of sources.
My son is a preschooler and these are our only family in the area. He gets very upset when this keeps happening.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoisite
She could do that, yes, but mentioning being confused and disappointed would still come across as whining.
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Not if she says that it is her son that is confused, disappointed and upset.
It probably would make a difference on how close the relatives are related to you.
Frankly, if it was Grandma & Grandpa constantly planning an activity and disappointing their young grandson, I would be absolutely livid.
Now, if it was an aunt or uncle to you or your husband or to your child, I would be angry that they constantly disappointed your child (especially if he was looking forward to spending time with his cousins).
In that case, you may try to go to their house early and if they cancel at the last minute say that you are already on your way and insist that they keep the plans. If you arrive at their house and no one is home have your child, depending on their age, draw a picture with a sad, crying face and/or write a brief note (such as "Aunt Susie & Uncle Jim, I am very sad that you weren't home today. Love, Johnny" and leave it on their door. You could have back-up plans to do something fun in their area (like go to a park, children's museum or a child friendly restaurant or ice cream shop. That way it really isn't punishing your child, too because they are being jerks.
If it was extended relatives I would probably just stop trying to connect. They obviously don't care about your family.
Not if she says that it is her son that is confused, disappointed and upset.
It probably would make a difference on how close the relatives are related to you.
Frankly, if it was Grandma & Grandpa constantly planning an activity and disappointing their young grandson, I would be absolutely livid.
Now, if it was an aunt or uncle to you or your husband or to your child, I would be angry that they constantly disappointed your child (especially if he was looking forward to spending time with his cousins).
In that case, you may try to go to their house early and if they cancel at the last minute say that you are already on your way and insist that they keep the plans. If you arrive at their house and no one is home have your child, depending on their age, draw a picture with a sad, crying face and/or write a brief note (such as "Aunt Susie & Uncle Jim, I am very sad that you weren't home today. Love, Johnny" and leave it on their door. You could have back-up plans to do something fun in their area (like go to a park, children's museum or a child friendly restaurant or ice cream shop. That way it really isn't punishing your child, too because they are being jerks.
If it was extended relatives I would probably just stop trying to connect. They obviously don't care about your family.
It is a close relative who has a connection to our child, yes. We have an otherwise warm relationship despite this recent turn of events.
It is a close relative who has a connection to our child, yes. We have an otherwise warm relationship despite this recent turn of events.
Here is another possibility. Since we are still in a pandemic, perhaps half the couple is fine with visits but their spouse is against them. That could be why plans are made, by one spouse, and then cancelled at the last minute, by the other spouse.
One elderly couple that I know disagree on whether or not it is safe to see their adult children, grandchildren and other relatives now that they are both vaccinated. Except for through windows and on Skype they have not seen anyone since March 2020. Both of them are high risk and the husband told me recently that in his opinion it will not be safe enough to see grandchildren "until summer" and his spouse thinks that it is OK now (several weeks after their second vaccination).
Here is another possibility. Since we are still in a pandemic, perhaps half the couple is fine with visits but their spouse is against them. That could be why plans are made, by one spouse, and then cancelled at the last minute, by the other spouse.
One elderly couple that I know disagree on whether or not it is safe to see their adult children, grandchildren and other relatives now that they are both vaccinated. Except for through windows and on Skype they have not seen anyone since March 2020. Both of them are high risk and the husband told me recently that in his opinion it will not be safe enough to see grandchildren "until summer" and his spouse thinks that it is OK now (several weeks after their second vaccination).
Its possible but im curious. Why would anyone refuse to see others if they were vaccinated?
I have a relative that is so afraid of Covid that they won’t come to see their ailing aged mother. But yet this person is all drama about not seeing her. Carrying on and being dramatic and angry. But can’t travel. The rest of the family is traveling from coast to coast. Just drama. Not sure if your person is Covid fearful, they just sound like they are not nice. They just don’t care. Don’t tell your son about going to see them and get his hopes up. If it ever happens surprise you’re son the day you get in the car. He doesn’t need this drama.
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