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....... So the question is out there, for me, for others in the world, for whatever the gift that they aren't going to touch, how does one handle it so not to start the feud between the Hitachis and the MacLinks?
Just tell everybody ahead of time to not give you any gifts and that you won't be giving gifts to anyone. Then if somebody gives you a gift you won't feel guilty about getting rid of it.
My daughter in law ( Very early on) showed such grace and gratitude in any gift she got. She genuinely has this knack for being humble and receptive. Little did I know as the years past that she absolutely HATES anything with the color Purple . It would be my son ( her husband) that shared that tidbit one year. The funny thing was: One year I gave her a beautiful necklace with purple gems strewn thru it. Another year it was a knitted scarf with that color dotted thru it ( along with yellow/gold). She never once let on that it was not her "style" or asked for a receipt to return it. Instead she did the right thing...She re-gifted it to her cousin that was thrilled! So why do I share this? Because when a gift is given ....we have the ability to make the best of it. Its ours at that point. We can complain and rattle on indirectly to other folks, or we can take the gift knowing the other person meant well, and find a purpose for it. When I found out how generous my DIL was to give her gift away..she said....OHH it was such a lovely gesture and when my cousin got it, that gift of her delight just made christmas all the better! She found the ultimate joy in her christmas.
Each year since , I have made sure to get her something in which NOW I can experience the true joy in giving to another that DELIGHTS in their treat!!
We each have choices ....If yours is to speak up ahead of time and say directly I prefer not to have xyz, so be it. We each have our own little "purple" gifts....How we chose to demonstrate our character is on us. I think I'll stick with my D.i.l way....it just seems so genuine.
Just tell everybody ahead of time to not give you any gifts and that you won't be giving gifts to anyone. Then if somebody gives you a gift you won't feel guilty about getting rid of it.
Well, there you go. I was in my retina doctor's office yesterday......and I was reading a hardback book!.....in speed reading mode, too!
As far as graciously accepting gifts, I am not sure I can because that does enter into a lie. A lie to them, a lie to myself especially when using it is in violation of internal security clauses (I do not walk around as a zombie, my head in electronic gadgets) ........which may lead directly, in a future time, of stating directly to them of why I don't use that wonderful gift they gave me last year.
At best, I could say, honestly, "Oh, you shouldn't of,".......and pray it stops there.
Got to run.
Graciously accepting a gift is not a lie for me as I appreciate that someone took the time to buy me a gift. Whether I like the gift or not is another matter. If I get a gift I don’t like I just keep it for a while then donate to a charity shop.
The size of the books my husband reads lol are just too big for paperback. Me I prefer paperback though.
[quote=TamaraSavannah;64585898]Something like that and while this may be said in jest.....
..........I have to come to loathe wish lists from others. I have a friend who likes people to buy her the things, very expensive things she wants. Come birthday and Christmas, she tells others what it is on the list and I hate that for to me, it makes me feel like she just sees us as a source of toys for her.
Not liking to read them from others, I am not likely to put them out myself.......but that's just me.
In the grand picture of protocol, are there others who see wish lists as not the thing to do?
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Wish lists among adults are tacky and greedy.
The only wish list should be for parents from their kids.
I have a mother who (because of her own insecurities and love of shopping) wants to buy everybody gifts all the time and it causes more friction and stress than joy.
I'm not exaggerating, she's always trying to give people things and then gets her feelings hurt when people say 'no.' Just the other day she excitedly texts me to stop over after work because she wants me to see something ... Ok, so I do. It's some kind of Christmas decoration that we have no room for and don'rt want anyway ... I'll miss her when she's gone.
Oh, the week before that she had a Christmas decoration she wanted us to hang on our front door. We already have a wreath you gave us ... Hang it on your own door.
Graciously accepting a gift is not a lie for me as I appreciate that someone took the time to buy me a gift. Whether I like the gift or not is another matter. If I get a gift I don’t like I just keep it for a while then donate to a charity shop.
........
Well, it is one of those things, lying. I can operate incredibly well when I need to by telling the truth from a certain point of view. It is one thing to do it, however, as an operational skill.....but quite another to do it as a day to day practice of life. I don't like telling white lies just to be diplomatic.
Graciously accepting a gift is not a lie for me as I appreciate that someone took the time to buy me a gift. Whether I like the gift or not is another matter.
TA. Separate the motivation, intent and act of giving from the contents of the box. Easier to be sincere when thanking the person. Or not. The inability to be sincere is a different problem.
Last edited by Parnassia; 12-14-2022 at 03:29 PM..
Well, it is one of those things, lying. I can operate incredibly well when I need to by telling the truth from a certain point of view. It is one thing to do it, however, as an operational skill.....but quite another to do it as a day to day practice of life. I don't like telling white lies just to be diplomatic.
No white lies involved. I always appreciate that someone has thought of me and given me a gift, it’s the thought that counts. Gracious acceptance doesn’t require lying. The simple solution for someone who doesn’t want gifts and doesn’t like the kinds of presents is let everyone know that they no longer want to do gifts.
It’s not a lie to appreciate that someone took the time and effort to buy you a gift. Then you regift or donate it to someone who will appreciate it. It’s very simple. I exchange gifts with very few people because we all have what we need and buy what we want.
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