Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If the family member she visited couldn't care less, why are you even bothering to do this to encourage her to visit again?
If you insist on flowers, use a florist. Most old women I know, and I know a lot being old myself, love to have unexpected flowers delivered.
Not me. I hate being given cut flowers. I have a cat who may be poisoned if she eats them. And they smell. And then they die and smell worse. If someone wants to spend money on me, send me a gift card to the grocery store.
I think the card idea is the best. I agree--no flowers or plant. Many people don't want plants as they require work to upkeep and many of us don't have a convenient space near a window to put them for light. I don't keep plants in my house anymore because I had a fly infestation once and was told that flies use house plants to deposit their eggs in the soil. They are dirty, with dirt and dried leaves dropping off on the floor. Nope.
I would not enclose any gift cards in the note. That would make me feel awkward if someone gave me a gift like that when I'm not close to them.
An old (but not close) family friend is suddenly a widow. She’s in her late 70s. I need to go pay her a visit because she was kind enough to drop by and visit a suddenly single elderly family member of mine (due to a spouse’s death). The elderly family member couldn’t care less, but I think I need to return the favor of a visit, if anything to encourage the friend to drop by to check on my elderly family member.
When the family friend visited, I think that she came unannounced and brought a nice flower. So I am thinking of doing the same.
The local grocery store just has 3 for $12 bouquets in plastic bags; is that tacky to bring or should I stop by a florist and get something nicer?
I assume that I can just ring the doorbell and explain that I just wanted to drop by but that I don’t expect to be invited in (and I should decline an invitation to come in), since the visit will be unexpected? (When I was a church volunteer and was assigned to visit people, it never went well and I think that I just stayed too long; after that, I want to keep a visit to five minutes at most, and hopefully not come inside.)
If she’s not there, I just leave the flowers maybe by her garage (so she’ll see them)?
Would some nice food be a better gift?
Thanks!
You want to do this, not because you care, but because you want to somehow manipulate her into visiting your relative again? And you are trying to do it as cheaply as you can?
I can see sending a card or flowers, but if my spouse dies before I do I don't need or want a whole bunch of random people I'm not that close to or haven't seen in years showing up at my house. That's just me.
You want to do this, not because you care, but because you want to somehow manipulate her into visiting your relative again? And you are trying to do it as cheaply as you can?
Just. No.
Yes, you got it exactly right: I’m an evil, scheming Scrooge whose sole goal is to manipulate senior citizens.
(Actually, I simply appreciate her having dropped by my elderly relative’s house; it’s nice to have people nearby who check up on people, even my elderly relative doesn’t. And she’s been very nice to lots of people so I wanted to show some kindness in return.)
Yes, you got it exactly right: I’m an evil, scheming Scrooge whose sole goal is to manipulate senior citizens.
(Actually, I simply appreciate her having dropped by my elderly relative’s house; it’s nice to have people nearby who check up on people, even my elderly relative doesn’t. And she’s been very nice to lots of people so I wanted to show some kindness in return.)
Some of these responses are really over the top. Do what you feel is right.
Don't get involved ... you're too 'invested' already.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
