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I have to add something more convincing. Tell them you have troubles with your gallbladder and the dr told you to stick with low fat diet. It's true, if you look up at foods that are forbidden for people with gallbladder pb. Or tell them your dr suspects you have Clostridium difficile bacteria and require a strict diet. After you come up with a few "diagnostics" like these tell them you are very careful with your digestive system and you will have to cook for yourself and eat at fixed hours, 6 meals instead of 3, I don't know, make something up so you wont offend them and you will be off the hook.
I would not confront them. They offered you a place to stay and if you told them that you are uncomfortable with them they'll say, ok we're as uncomfortable with you, here's the door.
Do nothing unless you want to ruin your living situation.
Do you have any other options renting? It isn’t easy as they say currently - with high rents…
In addition, it seems that they provide you with companionship, meals, etc.
Your petty discomfort with them could be nothing compare to living with drug addicts, violent people or noisy party people, alcoholics and/or smokers, weird people, etc.
You could attempt to apply for low income housing without telling them. It might take a few years - depending on your location or if you could move to another location where that type of housing is available.
Explore that.
However, evaluate the intangibles - would you even like to be all alone? When no one makes fun of your eating habits or anything else?
The perfect is the enemy of good. It seems you are starting to resent your benevolent friends.
Evaluate everything before attempting to correct what you don’t like about living with them and remember what they did for you.
Maybe their life is boring and they have nothing to talk about- but “gang up” on you.
Do THEY starting to resent you? and their jokes is a symptom?
If you don’t like the conversation - change the subject - it is your temporarily solution until you know where you stand.
So I live with two housemates. He's an old high school friend. She's his wife. We're all in our 50s. They were good enough to see fit to ask me to move in after the last decade has seen me go through a bad divorce and repeated medical scaresn which have left me broke, broken and battered. I am very thankful for them. I pay rent and help around the house. I don't have anywhere else to go right now.
They kid me about things. I also can have fun at my expenise. We do joke about me prosthetic leg. They also harp on the way I eat, notably my love for chicken. Any type of chicken, but especially chicken. Not just how often I eat chicken, but how much I eat of anything. Not how [/i]much [/i]I eat, but actually how little I eat. They're constantly telling me I need to eat more. Here's the thing. I eat when I am hungry. I don't eat when I'm not hungry. I was also told by my mother growing up not to eat fast. As I grew up, I relized this was good advice. Eat slower and you don't eat as much because you realize you're full and will stop sooner.
I am 6'2 and 180 pounds, almost 40 pounds lighter than I was in high school. I'm not saying I'm in great shape by any stretch. I am Type 2 diabetic. Tthat's how i lost my leg. My blood sugar is controlled. If I am going hrough a depressed state, I'll stop taking my meds. It's not a perfect scenario, but my doctor said as long as I keep doing what I am doing now, I should have a long life. (Which is ironic consifering my depression and suicidal ideation, but that's another post.) When they start picking on the way I eat (a lot of chicken jokes, a lot of attempts to get me to eat more food than I do) I hold my toungue. But what I think is pretty terrible and it does not make me feel good about myself. My housemates are large people. He is my height, maybe an inch taller, but weighs more than 300 pounds. It's all in his gut. He eats like a toddler. Putting one bite in his mouth while still chewing his last bite. He piles the food up on his plate. He will be finishing up his plate before I am half finished with mine. If we are eating out, he'll finish first and then look around at us or whoever else is at the table like he's bored and ready to leave. I'll often either get a to-go container or just leave food on my plate. She is shaped like a pear, probably 250 lbs. She cooks for all of us and it's not entirely healthy. We had squash tonight. Only it was fried. She also makes fried okra a lot which frankly is about the only way okra is eatable. She does make some great vegetable soup.
My thought is often something like this: why is it OK for them to tell me how to eat but I know if I ever mentioned how they eat, all hell would break loose! And rightfully so! But it is triggering me that they are always on me. They're not my mother. I'm not dating either one of them. When my ex said something like that, I knew she did it out of love (at the time anyway). It's not their place to do this. They think they eat good because it is a lot of vegetablle. But that's the problem. It's a lot of vegetables.
So what do I do? Keep ignoring it. Learn to deal with it? Maybe it should not bother me.
Dude, you are hilarious! I have been LMAO !! The reason they pick on you about your eating (or lack of) is because subconsciously they are 'jealous' of you. They know they overeat. They know they need to lose weight but misery loves company and if you're living with them, it's a constant reminder of just how big they are.
The next time they make a crack at your eating, throw one right back. He says you eat like a bird, you say "it's a hell of a lot better than eating like a pig." If he says something else, say "that's why I don't weigh 300 lbs." If his wife says something......... don't say a word. LOL
They sound like wonderful people and you seem to have a good handle on this situation. Because you have had many impactful issues — divorce, health, depression — I am wondering what you do outside of home. Are you in a support group? Do you have hobbies or friendships that get you out of the house regularly?0
That is actually an issue. I do not have a lot of friends and we live "out in the boonies" so the friends I do have rarely come visit me. I do not have a way to get out of the houde much and enjjoy my hobby which is photography. I stay in my room most of the time watching TV or being online.
Some have asked if I am wearing out my welcome here. I do not think so and they have said they hope I stay with them for as long as possible. They call me part of the family. They re looking to move back closer to our hometown and they have said I am coming along. If so, I will be closer to more friends and more importantlly my 20-something year old kids.
Plus,I really think my rent helps them out more than they have told me and they would be hard up without it.
Some people can dish it out but cannot take it so tread lightly. They seem like good hearted people who enjoy joking at your expense. Wait it out until there is an opportunity to lightheartedly say something like, "hey I know you tease me about my food habits because you love me but can you stop loving me so much?" or a backhanded compliment, "you know I love your cooking but I'm under doctor's orders on what I can eat."
I know you're specifically asking about how to deal with your roommates but I'm also concerned with your comment about going off your meds when you are depressed. You seem pretty self-aware about it and have even specifically discussed it with your doctor (who apparently kinda approves?).
I don't know why you have roommates at this stage in your life but it may be worth downgrading your lifestyle to get away from them and to get some privacy and independence. And you need to look into your self-destructive behavior about your meds. You know the potential side-effects very well - maybe a self-help group to look at your self-esteem issues? Best of luck!
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