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I think it's pointless to ask the OP for clarification about anything, I'm pretty sure she's not going to be responding to this thread again since she has embarrassed herself and been embarrassed by most of us responding who answered her question - was she right or wrong? Now she has her answer and the reasons why she and her 2 other friends were all wrong and she's been rightly advised that she and her friends all need to grow up and ditch the immature drama. I wouldn't blame her if she doesn't come back to this thread.
Just for some clarification of my own - I don't care if R's friend who was reportedly talking to another girl is called her boy friend, man friend, guy friend, gentleman friend, male friend, sugar-daddy friend or whatever other kind of not-a-female friend he might be called. I think it's a waste of time trying to make such a distinction in this instance. I called him a boy friend because he is probably a boy.
I don't even know why we're blaming the guy for mentioning seeing the other guy talking to a girl.
We don't know that the guy friend even realized that OP's friend was in to this guy. It could've simply been something like "I saw James today after class. He was talking to Sue." And that was that.
All this CW angsty young adult dramas. Geez, leave it to the professionals.
Im 21 and in university and the three closest friends I made so far at uni all left for exchange. So this semester has been particularly hard as I have been trying to make friends all over again. My birthday was two days ago and I invited to dinner mostly acquaintances and ONE good friend (let's name her R) that also didn't go on exchange like me.
She (R) knows that I have been struggling a bit since my other friends all left and I have been freshly broken up with. And she was telling me the whole time that we would have fun in my birthday and that I should cheer up and be happy. And that's what I did.
During the first 30 minutes of the birthday dinner ( we went out to a restaurant) I was genuinely having fun the vibe was great and everyone was laughing. Then one of the friends that I invited (let's name him Y) started telling my friend (R) that he saw the guy she has been talking to for three weeks talking with another girl on campus.
And then boom, complete switch of vibe. She refused to eat and became bitter and silent the whole night. And because of that everyone started feeling really awkward and things got super tense.
And then I got really upset, because why are you as my friend reacting like this as if he cheated on you at MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
I am still upset thinking about this because after that i kind of stormed off the dinner since no one was eating and no one was talking and I was feeling sad and alone.
Is it selfish of me to have one moment to celebrate my 21st birthday and be happy for two little hours ?
She is super nice as a person but her biggest flaw is that she is emotionally draining. I always listen to her complain and cry about guys that she's talking to and im mostly ok with that. But not during my birthday party.
I still have not received any apology from her whatsoever and I am sure that she thinks that my reaction was inappropriate and that I shouldn't have left and that I should have respected her feelings of sadness. Was i right or wrong ?
You're not getting an apology so stop waiting for it...if you did, it'd be a "sorry if you took it the wrong way" half azz kind of apology that doesn't count as one.
You all need to grow up - if you don't like a "friend's" drama then stop socializing or at least minimize her impact on your life. ...I do wonder if you'd do something similar at a friend's party and feel justified because you were "heartbroken" yourself.
Have another dinner and don't invite her...doesn't have to be on the exact day to count. But don't bring your own drama.
Im 21 and in university and the three closest friends I made so far at uni all left for exchange. So this semester has been particularly hard as I have been trying to make friends all over again. My birthday was two days ago and I invited to dinner mostly acquaintances and ONE good friend (let's name her R) that also didn't go on exchange like me.
She (R) knows that I have been struggling a bit since my other friends all left and I have been freshly broken up with. And she was telling me the whole time that we would have fun in my birthday and that I should cheer up and be happy. And that's what I did.
During the first 30 minutes of the birthday dinner ( we went out to a restaurant) I was genuinely having fun the vibe was great and everyone was laughing. Then one of the friends that I invited (let's name him Y) started telling my friend (R) that he saw the guy she has been talking to for three weeks talking with another girl on campus.
And then boom, complete switch of vibe. She refused to eat and became bitter and silent the whole night. And because of that everyone started feeling really awkward and things got super tense.
And then I got really upset, because why are you as my friend reacting like this as if he cheated on you at MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
I am still upset thinking about this because after that i kind of stormed off the dinner since no one was eating and no one was talking and I was feeling sad and alone.
Is it selfish of me to have one moment to celebrate my 21st birthday and be happy for two little hours ?
She is super nice as a person but her biggest flaw is that she is emotionally draining. I always listen to her complain and cry about guys that she's talking to and im mostly ok with that. But not during my birthday party.
I still have not received any apology from her whatsoever and I am sure that she thinks that my reaction was inappropriate and that I shouldn't have left and that I should have respected her feelings of sadness. Was i right or wrong ?
]
You both sound immature. You could have saved your celebration but didn't. Missed opportunity.
^Yeah, there's that too. Maybe OP should consider themself lucky that they even were able to go out and do something on their birthday with friends. I know people who don't get to, though they'd love to.
OP says they're 21, which is almost the last time that you can make a big deal about your birthday. After that, once you're out of college no one cares that much about birthdays. You want to have a few people over or go out for drinks? Great, but don't expect everyone in your life to drop everything and treat you like royalty.
"Ruined my birthday" is not a phrase that should be uttered by an adult.
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