Sexual orientation - flip flop (fiance, adults, abuse, business)
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Yes. With regards to the daughters when the older girl was sixteen, she started dating older women from the gay church she grew up with. Her father is gay and a paster. (She was adopted.) Women or not my mother felt it was inappropriate for my niece to date those older women, but my sister allowed it. Then around 20-21 she competely stopped dating women and now only dates men.
The younger neice is the biological daughter of my sister and the gay paster, but she has always dated boys/men. She was involved in a serous relation to the point where there was talk of marriage. But he was cheating on her, and she broke up with him. Now she is seeing a woman.
I get what some are saying. My niece had a serious relationship with a man go bad. Gets fed up with men and decides to flip over to woman. Just didn't think sexual attraction worked like that.
For some people, sexual attraction DOESN'T "work like that"...for some, it's pretty well locked in at one point and does not change much. Some people are very straight or very gay or very bi, and especially if there are no external pressures pushing them one way or another they just stay put for life, with the same kinds of attractions and subsequent actings upon them.
Also, what people say to you is not always the whole picture of what's going on within them. Sometimes they are lying or don't feel that it's your business...other times we ourselves do not know our whole truths until they fully evolve and bloom for us. Sometimes that can come later in life than you would think.
These women could have been bi or pan all along. Or something else. But no one has to prove or perform their sexual orientation to satisfy another person's need to police it and label them properly. That isn't required. They can do what they want. Explore what they please. What categorical box a person fits in in the mind of someone else is never more important than their own fulfillment in life.
I have always personally been potentially attracted to women, men, androgynous, non-binary, trans, whatever. Not everyone. But possibly anyone. I just don't care that much about gender. My attraction to another human being is not a craving for a particular shape of pants-parts. When I meet someone and interact with them a while, either the way they talk and move, the manner of their face, their scent, their laugh, their...everything...it agrees with me or it does not.
My ex used to say that I was not a "real bisexual" because I refused to have sex with women for him to "watch." The very idea of him perving on me with another person made me feel sick. There's a saying, "Your kink is not my kink and that's OK." Well it was ok except insofar as him trying to pressure me into doing something I really didn't want to do. And trying to prod at my identity as a means of attempted manipulation. Yuck!
Fact is, despite the fact that I've been ATTRACTED to plenty of women, the great majority of partners in my life have been men, because men make it easy to move from the place of attraction to actual sex. As a poster upthread said, something about bisexuals being opportunists? LOL...kinda, yeah. I am just more shy and self conscious and awkward around women. So my female partners have been rare but precious to me.
Oh, and I agree with GrandviewGloria about men being a lot more bi than they think they are sometimes... If maybe not always. Anyways I feel no impulse to throw challenges at men's hetero identities if that's what they feel about it, it's their business and not at all for me to say. But a lot of the men I've known who get into certain sex party communities and start getting up to stuff...over time, when they feel safe that no one will judge them and all the social stigma of the regular world falls away...a lot of them do decide to at least tread into the realms of what they call, "heteroflexible." Which means mostly straight but willing to play around a little on the other side also now and then, or maybe only with very particular individuals.
Human sexuality...I won't say it's full on fluid and whatnot but more...it can be as fluid as a person wishes to let it be. Or not, if that's not what they want. It's only about the most personal thing that there is and only as much anyone else's business as one wishes to allow it to be.
I think a flip flop is easier for a woman than a man, not that I know much about being a gay man.
I think we women feel secure and safe with other women. Also, many women of a certain age do not necessarily have much of a sex drive, or we can DIY. I can see how having a comfortable partnership with another women could be very appealing if you’ve recently had a bad experience with a man.
I don't want to say anything on here that will get me in trouble but- some heteroflexible people are very discreet.
I was raised with one super-homophobic parent so I avoided talking about my friendships with gays and lesbians. I learned that some secrets have to kept for the safety of others.
Many lesbians are very discreet because some sexually violent men will try to assault them to "turn" them into heterosexuals. I'm serious. Men with rapey tendencies only see a female who most likely does not have STIs from lack of contact with men and will try to come on to that woman to have sex with her. This is why I always advised my co-workers who were traveling alone to lock their hotel room doors.
I went way off topic but you get the idea. In my social circles LGBT people are always welcome and we won't judge them.
Ahh so you’re really not interested in your niece’s feelings if she bi? Your interest in her reasoning doesn’t come from a place of concern sounds more like condemnation. Perhaps butt out their love life altogether would be better for you all
Last summer my niece seemed distraught during a family reunion. This is when my sister explained about the boyfriend, the cheating and why he was not there. (I had met the man the previous year on a thanksgiving zoon meeting.) This is the niece is now seeing a woman.
My other niece (the one who had been dating women during her teen years) brought with her an older man. I asked my sister who the man was. My sister said he was just a friend. That my niece was was involved with another man. O.K.
It’ not the gender of the other person but an ability to turn on/off sexual attraction. With regards to my niece in both instance they switched from one dating one sex to the other after a messy breakup. I didn’t think sexual attraction worked like that.
Or maybe they've always been attracted to both genders, and you've only seen it manifested with men. That doesn't mean she's turned off the attraction to men. She may still be attracted to men. She's just with a woman now.
Or maybe they've always been attracted to both genders, and you've only seen it manifested with men. That doesn't mean she's turned off the attraction to men. She may still be attracted to men. She's just with a woman now.
No doubt the new girlfrined knows about her past relatiionships with men.
No doubt the new girlfrined knows about her past relatiionships with men.
And if she decides to flip back? Can't cry foul.
OP, I think you aren't grasping the concept of bisexual. Do you think that a person who is bisexual must simultaneously date multiple people, namely, a man and a woman?
OP, I think you aren't grasping the concept of bisexual. Do you think that a person who is bisexual must simultaneously date multiple people, namely, a man and a woman?
No.
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