Do you have family that borrow stuff but never returns them?? (wife, spouse)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Not my immediate family but have relatives from my in-laws borrow items and never return them. Like tools, plates, or pots.
Went to my in-laws house and saw my tools sitting there on top of a box. So I mentioned, isn't that my wrench and socket set?? My bro in-law says, "Is it? I thought I bought that.."
Not relatives, but I've had neighbors borrow things without returning them, or return them damaged. My wife let some neighbors borrow some tools one time and I didn't know until I needed them about a week later. Found them left outside in the neighbor's yard in the rain. That neighbor never could figure out why I never let them borrow anything again, even showing them what they had done to the tools.
It's funny that one of the discussions I've had with people is something like this:
"Why get upset; it's just a tool."
"Then why don't you buy one?"
"Oh, it's too expensive."
"And that's why I'm not loaning it out again."
Went to my in-laws house and saw my tools sitting there on top of a box. So I mentioned, isn't that my wrench and socket set?? My bro in-law says, "Is it? I thought I bought that.."
It was clearly mine, but I just left it alone.
You didn't ask for it back, so you must not want it back.
You are teaching them that they can keep whatever they borrow!
And they are getting the message, since you say "relatives from my in-laws borrow items and never return them", as i more than one relative does this to you with multiple items.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,551 posts, read 81,085,957 times
Reputation: 57728
Probably. My problem is disorganization. When I can't find a tool, I won't remember whether I lent it out or just forgot where I put it. So, I buy another. I probably have 6-8 10mm sockets, but only know where one is.
You didn't ask for it back, so you must not want it back.
You are teaching them that they can keep whatever they borrow!
And they are getting the message, since you say "relatives from my in-laws borrow items and never return them", as i more than one relative does this to you with multiple items.
The word 'borrow" means borrow. It does not mean, can I keep it. When family borrows your car, they return it after using it. So why not apply to other things.
Maybe certain things like a tool or dish isn't expensive as a car but it should have the same understanding.
I don't loan my equipment or anything else to anyone except for a very few people who have proven themselves to be trustworthy, so I don't have that problem.
Next time your [anybody relative or not] asks to borrow anything, you say "No, because you never returned the [item] that you borrowed last time." And never loan them anything else again.
I have a friend who paints all the handles on all of her tools bright pink. No one asks to borrow them and no one steals them. There is never any dispute about the ownership of the tools.
The word 'borrow" means borrow. It does not mean, can I keep it. When family borrows your car, they return it after using it. So why not apply to other things.
Maybe certain things like a tool or dish isn't expensive as a car but it should have the same understanding.
I have a light-fingered spouse who can't bear to spend any money so he "borrows" items of mine when I'm not looking. Years ago I bought an elaborately-ornate magnifying glass at the Rose Bowl Flea Market. Eventually it "disappeared."
It "reappeared" a few weeks ago when I saw the magnifying glass in a box of his things. He said, "You weren't supposed to see that."
My brother lives around the corner from me and our back yards are connected so we have a gate in the fence between us. When I was taking care of my mother I would often need a ladder to get on the roof. My brother had a nice one and I would borrow it until my sister in law said the last time I borrowed it "If you have to borrow something more than 3 times, you need to buy your own." My brother didn't mind but his wife was a real "jewel" that way. I didn't have a job to go buy anything like a good ladder and I always took it back.
I don't see any problem asking for your stuff back after you know who ever borrowed it is finished with it. Making a point to ask is a good idea in my mind. Otherwise you have resentment and the borrower has disrespect.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
